Ask Thoth
by FishtheMighty
Summary: I'm done answering questions on this site.  Read the author's notes in the last chapter for more info.
1. Chapter 1

Hello ladies and gentlemen! So I noticed a lot of fandoms have things where people ask questions to a specific character either through normal review form or letter form, and I decided to try one for Thoth from the Kane Chronicles. So you're probably wondering, does this "story" even have a point?

Yes. Yes it does. You see, as a writer, I seem to have a difficult time getting into the heads of other characters without just pasting my own viewpoints on them, thus a lot of my characters come out as carbon copies. So this is good practice for me.

If your question involves actual people from your personal life, please use fake names or just don't use them for privacy reasons.

As for the questions themself, they can range from asking for advice, asking for opinions, or just random questions. In other words, go crazy.

Questions containing mature subjects will be allowed, but the rating of the story may go up in result.

Now if you excuse me, I have a god of wisdom to kidnap.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, this is Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom. You might have heard of me. So the owner of this account, Fish, decided that it was a good idea to kidnap me so I can answer your questions. Of course she didn't _have _to kidnap me considering that I don't have any problems with answering your questions, but she probably has some personal or psychological issues she needs to get over so I guess she thought that kidnaping was a good conclusion to come to.

Anyway, let's get on with these questions.

This one is from _DaWOLF._

_If you had all the money in the world during a nuclear missile crisis, what would you do?_

Very interesting question. My answer: buy a rocket and go to the moon so I can hang our with Khonsu while the world gets destroyed. Now you're probably asking, "but you're a _god_! Can't you teleport to the moon or something?" And the answer is yes, yes I can. But during a nuclear missile crisis (I'll assume it's a worldwide crisis), I doubt that people will still have their shops open, so I won't be able to buy anything, so actually I won't be buying a rocket. I'll be taking it. Ha.

* * *

><p>Okay, this next question is from <em>My pretty kitty7.<em>

_ok then thoth: is it just kufu who only eats food that ends with o or is it all of your baboons that only eat food ending in o?_

Not many of my baboons are like Kufu, but a lot of them are obsessive compulsive in some way. I had one who couldn't sleep on the right side of a room and another who, when going up the stairs, could only place their foot on every other step. So if you're wondering where they got this behaviour from, the answer is me. Yes, me. You see, I'm quite obsessive compulsive myself and I guess it passed on to my respective animal. Don't even get me started with the ibises.

* * *

><p>This next series of questions is from <em>Metal Star Tiger<em> and there's quite a few of them so let's go.

_1) Do you have a pink frilly apron we should know about? Even if we shouldn't know...Tell us anyways._

Well if you should know then you shouldn't not know and if you shouldn't know then you shouldn't know, but I'll tell you anyway. I do have an apron, but it's not pink or frilly. It's boring white and I use it during lab experiments when I'm working with chemicals. I don't recommend wearing something pink and frilly while messing with possibly dangerous substances.

_2) You know, since you're the god of wisdom...Do you like Athena? The Greek goddess of wisdom?_

Athena is a very intelligent woman and I admire her. We both have a relationship that is a combination of admiration and intimidation. Since we are both wisdom deities, we're both worried that one of us may be smarter than the other, so it keeps us on our toes so we're always seeking new information. So yes, I do like her.

_3) If a person starts to hear beeping noises in their head, does that mean they're insane? I heard that somewhere. If that's true...OH MY GOD, I'M INSANE! AND I'VE BEEN INSANE FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS!_

What you're describing sounds like tinnitus. It can be caused by a lot of things like muscle spasms in the ear, ear infections, objects in the ear, too much water in the ear, head injury, and many other things. But tinnitus is not a disease, but a symptom. So it's not the tinnitus that's making you insane, it's probably something else. If you want treatment, there's some forms of surgery or drugs that could help you, but tinnitus maskers can help drown out the noise. So, no, you're not insane. Don't worry. :)

_4) I don't understand how Elvis was a magician. Care to share?_

Even though it's difficult to define magic briefly, it's basically manipulating reality with forces unknown to science. But while music doesn't follow under this exactly, music still manipulates the mind in one way or another and musicians manipulate sound waves to create music, much like a magician casting spells or something like that.

_5) Now, have a favourite movie? Is it The Ring?_

I have yet to see The Ring in full, but I plan to. Anyway, my favourite movies are going to have to be either Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia, or Brazil. I would also put A Clockwork Orange on the list, but I watched that movie with Set and, well, let's just say he was more disturbing than the actual movie.

_6) Is it unhealthy to think about zombies, weaponry, chocolate, and teddy bears 24/7?_

Well maybe if you think about chocolate too much, your brain might get fat. But I find it more intriguing that you are able to think about zombies, weaponry, chocolate, and teddy bears at the same time, all of the time. So I don't think you're unhealthy, but it looks like you're showing symptoms of ADHD. Might be the tinnitus. I don't know if those two are connected, but I'm going to have to look into that.

_7) What's you're favourite number?_

I have two favourite numbers. One of them is 3 because one of my titles was "three times great" because a little narcissism never hurt anyone and 108, a significant number in most eastern culture with the 1 being a single number, 0 being nothing, and 8 being the symbol for infinity if you turn it to the side. Also, the distance of Sun from Earth divided by diameter of Sun and distance of Moon from Earth divided by diameter of Moon is approximately equal to 108. So yeah, it's a good number.

_8) Do you have a crush on Athena?_

No. As I said before, our relationship is admiration and intimidation. It's very rare for a god from one religion to fall in love with another god of their domain from another religion. And by very rare, I mean it never happened, as far as I know.

_9) Are you happy that I'm giving you a bunch of questions?_

I'm always happy to answer questions, but I'm not happy that I was kidnaped to do so.

_10) How do you feel about text speak? I absolutely HATE it._

If I ever become emperor, anyone who uses text speak will be seriously punished. And by seriously punished, I mean that I will frown at them disapprovingly.

_11) Favourite book?_

Probably War and Peace. The Hot Zone was very good too, but I made the terrible decision of reading it while eating. Tapioca doesn't look the same to me anymore.

_Remember: You'll probably be seeing more of me. You have been warned. Just saying. _

_Be afraid. Really afraid. _

_BYE!_

I look forward to seeing more from you. Good luck with your tinnitus.

* * *

><p>This next question is from <em>Riddle Goddess<em>.

_ok then thoth, what do you think of all the ship pairs on the kane chronicles like sanubis and zarter_

I don't see why it matters. If Horus-I mean-Carter wants to be with Z...whatever her name is, all power to them, but relationships don't usually last at their age. As for Anubis and Sadie, I have to have a serious talk with Anubis about this. Mainly because immortal, 5,00-year-old beings getting with humans can only lead to bad things. And all the other gods were like "oh no, Thoth, a god can't marry a philosophy!", but I went ahead and married Ma'at despite this, meanwhile, Mr. Funeral Arranger can make out with prepubescent girls in graveyards? I call double standards!

* * *

><p>This question is from <em>Waffle Man<em>

_Do you like short shorts? I like short shorts._

Well I'm glad to know that you're a, ahem, short shorts enthusiast (we all need a hobby). When it comes to me, even though I try to keep it classy, I am still a man and as a man, I believe that an attractive woman with a nice body and nice legs can look very good in "short shorts". But if you're asking if I like _wearing_ "short shorts", then that's a whole different subject. The simple fact is I'm too skinny to wear "short shorts" and pull them off (how skinny? Set can wrap his entire hand around my arm). This may be because I only eat wheat bread and Mountain Dew.


	3. Chapter 3

Well I'm back. Let's get to your questions.

These questions are from _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1._

_**1. Thoth! You are my favorite god ever out of the whole TKC series!**_

High five! Or do you do the fist-bump-thing? Either way, I'm flattered. Thank you. *does awkward high five/fist bump thing*.

_**2. Are you too smart that you cannot handle too much knowledge?**_

Well if I can't obtain new knowledge, then I won't be smarter. I will still be smart, but my knowledge will be outdated. So, no. I live on knowledge, but lately I've been living on Mountain Dew and Skyrim. Don't ask, I'm just...studying...yeah.

_**3. Do you notice grammar/spelling errors easily?**_

Yes, but I don't always point it out. Since I study a lot of languages, I know how hard grammar can be, so I just get mildly irritated. If you want an Egyptian god who is a grammar freak, speak with Seshat. But when it comes to my own writing I'm brutal. Read some of my old work yesterday, I can't believe I used to write like that! How primitive could I have been!

...

Okay this question is from _GoodetoKnow_.

_Dear Thoth,_

_**Is it true Nut slept with you in order to convince you to help gain some moonlight to have her children?**_

Sheesh when you put it like that you make is sound like I forced her to sleep with me. The truth is, stories often get warped over time. In some variations, I helped her for no reason, in some I helped her in the hopes she would fall for me, but in reality, Nut and I were already together. Yeah she was with Geb too, but Nut and I were also an "item". But let me remind you: this was before I married Ma'at, so only one of us was technically having an affair, thank you very much. So I was sleeping with her long before the whole moonlight business, and I helped her because I loved her.

...

These questions are from _My Pretty Kitty7_.

_**Thoth do you know what would happen if someone forced khufu to eat something that does not end with o? i think it would be scary,[.]**_

Animals (including humans) have different ideas of which food is healthy for them and which food isn't. Kufu has the idea that any food that does not end with an 'o' would make him sick. Of course I don't know if this only applies to English names for food, but I'm going to look into that.

_**is it hard being the god of wisdom and all things lodgical when nothing in the magic world nothing really makes sense?**_

No, because magic does make sense. Even though magic doesn't follow under what mortal humans would perceive as "normal" or "logical", there are a set of rules that have to be followed. Magic follows under its own laws of physics, though they are unlike normal physics, they are still applied.

_**do you know why greek chaos is good and it what they think how the world came to be and egyption chaos is very bad and evil?**_

In both Greek and Egyptian religion, "chaos" is just the state the universe was in before it really came into being. In other words, the chaos is the unknown. So, chaos isn't really "bad" or "good" on its own, but rather neutral. That said, the Greek essence of chaos just embodies the state the universe before creation, and she was the mother of the earth in the sky. But in Egyptian religion, the idea of chaos is still neutral, but the beings trying to send the universe back into that primitive state are considered "evil". We're very big on order and organization, so when there's something that's trying to get rid of your order and organization, it's going to go under the evil category.

Also keep in mind that Set isn't really evil. He just has a temper. :)

...

This question is from _Lia MarieDaughter of Hecate._

_**Soooooooooooo, my name is Jace, just because my usernamr is Lia doesnt mean thats my name,**_

_**So since your the god of wisdom and all, be wise right now, any ways to make a boy NOT like you? I tried punching him MULTIPLE times and the only way I got away from him at a new years party was locking me and my best friend in a room for three hours with a deck of cards and pepper spray, soooo, any advice?**_

Why do you have pepper...never mind. Have you tried talking to him? I'm sure he has a brain, so you just telling him (politely) to leave you alone should do something. If that doesn't work, you can try speaking with a parent or guardian, and if _that_ doesn't work...I guess you can use that pepper spray.

...

These are from _I-need-my-Nap_.

_**Dear Thoth, what is your opinion on racism? I mean, pandas are black and white, and everybody loves them!**_

If you want to look at this from a evolution standpoint, it stems from people trying to keep their tribe or species strong, thus avoiding procreating with other tribes or species. Of course it isn't that simple, but I can go on and on talking about the origins of racism. But to me, not only is racism socially harmful because people are making unfair judgments about a person based on their social group, but it's also pathetic because a lot of racists will claim that their race is the "superior race" because of a few people in their social group. The issue I have with racism isn't just the risk of hurting people's feelings, but categorizing people and expecting each other to fall into their own little social group and are not open to learn from others. For me, that's all it boils down to. Not just racism, but other forms of oppression is harmful to humanity because it scares us away from interaction and expanding our knowledge of our species. But we've always been afraid of the unknown, so what are you going to do?

_**Which brings me to another question, do you like pandas?**_

Yes. Sliced thinly, doused with _Beurre blanc_, and served with a glass of red wine. *troll face*

_**Oh, and... who do you think is better, Carter or Sadie?**_

Well since I am a user of the hieroglyphic magic, the obvious answer would be Sadie, but honestly, I believe that they are both talented but in different ways. Of course I've never been good at combat magic, so I can't connect with Carter on that level, but he is very intelligent. Sadie is a very skilled magician and she has spunk (people still say that, right?) but sometime she will have to learn to watch her mouth. So I can't answer your question directly, but I believe that they've both come a long way when it comes to using magic and entering adulthood, so it would be unfair of me to judge them like that.

...

These questions are from _gingerroot15._

_**Well, hello.**_

_**If you had a choice would you take a male or female host?**_

I try to switch it up, but I prefer a host who is intelligent. You all have that one person in your life that you have to explain everything at least twelve times to, well imagine being stuck with that person and not being able to leave. So if I'm going to have an anchor to the mortal world, I would want one who is smart. Other than that, I don't care about gender, age, race, sexual orientation, or social-economic status.

_**I have a vicious cycle with music. I hear a song and I become obsessed. If I don't know the words, I go nuts trying to find them. Then I can't concentrate in school, which ends up getting me banned from the computer, where I first heard the song and would have continued to do so. Help?**_

Interesting. Have you tried listening to music without lyrics? From what I can gather, it seems like it's the _lyrics_ that are bothering you. Also if you're using the computers in school, you shouldn't use them to just look up songs because it seems that's where your problem is stemming from.

...

This question is from _My-name-is-derp._

_**If you appear to be so young, how did you get a job as a professor?**_

Easy: because of my intelligence and my incredible charm, I was able to woo them into letting me get a job.

No I'm kidding. I have friends in the mafia. And now that you know, I'm going to have to kill you. Nothing personal, love. I have an image to keep up.

**...**

**Uh hey guys. It's Fish. I thought this would be a good place for an author's note.**

**Anyway, while there are multiple versions of the Thoth/Nut story, most of my textbooks mention them already being in an affair, and that story dates before records of Thoth and Ma'at being married were found, so, yeah.**


	4. Chapter 4

There's more questions so I'm going to skip this intro stuff.

From _Lia MarieDaughter of Hecate._

_**Sweet! You just gave me perrmission to use my pepper spray!**_

A message to any authorities: please keep in mind that I did not give this young lady permission to harm someone. I don't condone violence and it's not my fault. Please don't arrest me.

_**So why do you have an essay on the evolution of yaks? **_

Why not? I like yaks. For a few years, my only friend was a yak. :(

_**And I know how you feel, I look at my work five minutes after I write it and think 'oh lord, that's awful' and erase it**_

Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but I find it best to save old work. Also, my answers are being typed up by Fish, so if there's any spelling/grammar errors, blame her.

**Fish: Screw you.**

Love you too. Next question.

...

These are from...Somebody.

_**1- Are the Greek gods more powerful than Egyptian gods, because the Egyptian gods can fade really easily?**_

Sure some people like to look at it like that, but at least _we_ don't go around and screwing mortal woman and thus causing the spawn to live a dangerous existence in which everything wants to kill them! *oh snap*. Also we came first and we helped create furries. You're welcome.

_**2- Who is stronger in fire magic: Leo Valdez or Zia Rashid?**_

The idea of strength (in my opinion) is subjective. To me, strength is defined by the control one has over their power or whatever. Zia has been training for much longer, so by that definition she's stronger. While Leo has more power, Zia is more used to controlling it responsively.

_**3- Make a choice: Horus is threatening to kill you. Would you join the Greeks?**_

I always viewed most as the Greek gods as frat boys with power, so I don't think so. Because, you know what, I replaced Horus' eye and I can take it right back. But if I had to leave the Egyptian gods, I would probably join the Norse gods because then I'll have an excuse not to expose my terrible skinniness, or the Hindu gods because a few extra limbs could come in handy, but I have a bit of a bad history with Kali. It was at a bar and...next question.

_**4- Can Egyptian magic work on demigods because demigod are half gods?**_

Well I don't know about any Egyptian demigods (or not yet if Anubis doesn't get his creepy corpse hands off of his prepubescent lover). But Egyptian magic still works on gods so...yeah?

...

These are from _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1_.

**[Response to High five! Or do you do the fist-bump-thing? Either way, I'm flattered. Thank you. *does awkward high five/fist bump thing*.]**

_**1. Um, no. I don't do either of those because I think that they are lame.**_

Oh in that case. *Vulcan salute* Live long and prosper.

_**2. Do the other Egyptian gods think you are a "nerd" or "geek" because you are a bit TOO smart?**_

Yes, but it's mostly from Horus, Set, and Khonsu. Khonsu I can understand because we're good friends and sometimes friends pick on each other, but Horus and Set are just jerks sometimes.

_**3. What is your favorite subject to teach?**_

Biology, psychology, and chemistry.

_**4. Do you have mortal friends who are also professors, teachers, etc?**_

A few, but of course they know nothing of my awesome godliness.

...

These questions are from _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Oh, gods. This is hilarious.**_

_**So. Question time. *evil grin***_

_**1. Da-Thoth, do you have any kids? *poke, nudge, me, nudge, poke***_

Ma'at and I had 8 children, well, 9 if you count Seshat. Let's see there's Seshat, Amon...and the other seven. But they were all born 5,000 years ago, so unless you're 5,00-years-old, I don't think I'm your biological father.

_**2. Bing or Google?**_

I never really used Bing a lot, so Google it is.

_**3. Do you like Taylor Swift?**_

Let's just say I'm not in the target audience. But I do respect that she writes her own music and plays her own instrument, but I know as much about modern music as Set knows about wearing appealing men's wear. Which isn't a lot.

_**4. What about spray cheese?**_

I have bad memories of it because during my first night in the modern human world, Khonsu sprayed some into my mouth while I was sleeping. It was awful.

_**Anyway. This is so funny.**_

_**Keep writing!**_

_**~Different**_

**Fish: Thank you! :D**

I doubt she was talking to you.

**Fish: :(**

...

From gingerroot15.

**[Response to last question].**

_**Well, I listen to the songs at home, and they get stuck in my head. Plus, I've tried lyric-less songs. I get just as obsessed trying to remember just the tune. Plus, I'm in choir and Honor Choir, so that wouldn't work.**_

Well earworms tend to last longer in women than in men, and it tends to occur more often in people with OCD. Studies show that trying to fight off an earworm just makes it worse, so my best advice would be to resist the urge to search the lyrics/music during school, and just try to ignore it and it should go away. Fortunately it's very uncommon for them to last longer than 24 hours.

...

**I looked through all my textbooks, checked numerous websites, and I couldn't find the names of Thoth's seven other children. And now, a moment of silence for Thoth's seven, godly, forgotten children.**


	5. Chapter 5

So I have my whiskey, Fish has her kahlúa, let's answer some questions.

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hello again! First off, I would like to apologize for the weird format of this review. My phone is a meanie head. :( **_

**Fish: Don't worry. I read the questions with my phone so it doesn't look too bad.**

Shouldn't you be paying attention in class?

**Fish: Just answer her questions.**

_**Anyway. Thoth...hm, what is you opinion of eReaders, such as Kindle or Nook?**_

I don't hate them, but I prefer actual books over fake ones.

_**Oh, and penguins?**_

I like them when Morgan Freeman is narrating them but not when they're computer animated.

_**What is the story behind the yak who was your friend?**_

I knew I would have to bring this up eventually. Many years ago, I was very weak so I couldn't use my powers and I was stranded in Tibet but I managed to befriend a yak. So we traveled together for many months until we ran out of food. I never forgave myself.

_**Oooh, do you like cookies?**_

Some kinds.

**Fish: Oh, and I bought some Girl Scout Cookies!**

...Please tell me you didn't kidnap a Girl Scout.

_**What about pie?**_

Some kinds...?

_**What about pi?**_

It's an essential tool for math, architecture, art, and just showing off how smart you are.

**Fish: Who uses pi to show off how smart they are?**

3. ...

**Fish: Show off.**

_**Do you celebrate Pi Day (March 14; guess why)?**_

Yes, but only at 1:59.

_**Do you watch plays/movies?**_

Yes, but it's been a while since I've seen one that came out recently.

_**Do you like horror?**_

Yes, but only psychological horror. I'm not a fan of the hey-let's-show-some-gore-for-no-reason-other-than-to-be-shocking! genre of horror.

_**What songs do you like to play on guitar?**_

I kind of do my own thing, actually. I'm still learning the basic chords.

_**Have you heard of Dream Therapy?**_

Yes I have. If you like that sort of thing, I recommend reading _Die Traumdeutung_. Even though some of Freud's research may be considered outdated, it's still fascinating. Of course after reading it I annoyed all of the other gods by trying to interpret their dreams.

_**And most importantly...why do cows go moo and not quack, or some other farm sound?**_

Cows usually "moo" because they are unhappy. The reason they make that specific sound it mostly based on their vocal cords and anatomy.

_**Sorry for all the questions, but I'm bored and I am not going to sleep for a while, so yeah.**_

Glad I could help ease your boredom.

...

From _The Lord's Fallen Angel._

_**I have a list of questions for our favorite Bird Brain, all related to his wife, Ma'at. One of my favorite goddesses of Egypt.**_

Bird Br...never mind. And great...we're going to talk about my wife behind her back.

**Fish: I should bring her here for the next chapter!**

Don't you dare kidnap my wife!

_**1. Is it true that your wife, Ma'at, is a few hundred years younger then you since she was born when the first pharaohs ruled Egypt, since Ra put her before them and said live on Ma'at?**_

That's part of it. Also it's because Ma'at isn't always portrayed as a goddess, but sometimes she's just an abstract idea. So Ma'at only reforms as a goddess about every few hundred years or so while the other gods reform more frequently.

_**2. Rumor is that your wife is very ill and could possibly die because the blance has greatly shifted to choas side because the serpant is free.**_

Yes. I'm doing everything I possibly can, but Ma'at is being strangely pessimistic and it scares me.

_**3. Do your baboons get jealous when you pay more attention to your wife then them?**_

I think they realize that my relationship with them is very different than my relationship with Ma'at.

_**4. What would your reaction be if Ma'at came into the books. Would you be thrilled to see her or terrified for her safty?**_

I would be happy to see her again, but I would try to protect her.

_**5. Do you guys have kids and how is your sex life?**_

**Fish: Is that a Tommy Wiseau reference?**

Fish! Not everything has to be a stupid movie reference!

**Fish: Oh hai, Thoth.**

I give up. Anyway, we have 8 kids (technically 9) and our sex life is great when she's, you know, a real person.

_**6. What was her reaction when Ma'at realize you helped Isis and Horus, after Isis was the one to send Ra, her father.**_

She wasn't mad at me for that reason, but because I'm not supposed to pick sides in wars, but I try to fix it before it gets too crazy.

_**7. How did you end up with Ma'at. Did you have to get permission from Ra to court her?**_

I was a scribe and a follower of Ma'at for many years, but I never met her. One day, Ra decided it would be best for the two of us to get married. So we met and I don't believe in love at first sight (mainly because I knew a lot about her before and Ma'at is blind), but we did become content with each other's company after we got to know each other a little more. So we got married under Ra's orders, but we still love each other.

_**8. Is the reason why Bast dislikes you so much is because you married her younger sister?**_

No, it's mostly because our personalities conflict a little too much.

_**9. She would probably kill you if you answered number seven **_**[five]**_** for us, wouldn't she?**_

I don't think she would go that far. Actually, I don't think she'll mind.

...

From _Yuu_.

_**uh... hi...**_

Salutations.

_**1. Please explain to me why the Romans/Greeks confused you with Hermes... the comparisons are too far from similarity. (not that I hate Hermes)**_

Hermes is the messenger of the gods, and I'm often depicted as a person writing. That's basically what it is.

_**2. Care to explain Hermanubis please? I don't understand it D: **_

It's an ancient slash pairing created by the yaoi fangirls of the era.

I'm kidding. He was a god during the time when Rome had control over Egypt. You see, the Romans adopted many things from Egypt and they combined one of their gods with one of our's because Hermes and Anubis had similar roles involving the dead.

_**3. What will you do if I attempted to get all your baboons and ibises then set them free in the wild?**_

My ibises and baboons are used to living in my lab and getting fed, so if you free them remember that you are responsible for the death of many baboons and ibises.

_**4. If you know it, then, what do you think about the Harry Potter troll fan fiction, My Immortal, which contains A LOT of grammatical errors and spellings? If you don't know, google it.**_

I read some of it, but it was too long for me to read the whole thing. I knew it was fake right at the start, so I didn't get too angry at it.

_**that is all, please keep writing more! :)**_

**Fish: Thank you!**

Once again, I don't think they were talking to you. Next question.

...

These questions are from _enterusernamehere_.

_**1. What are your favourite bands/musicians?**_

Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, James Brown, Eric Clapton, and Pearl Jam. Fish is trying to get me to listen to System of a Down, but I'm not really a fan.

**Fish: What? Serj Tankian's voice is the most amazing thing ever and he's probably the only guy I would go straight for!**

Uh...let's move on to a different topic.

_**2. Are you or any of the other gods gay?**_

Oh come on! Anyway, I know for a fact that Set is either gay or bisexual, but the rest are either straight, bisexual, or asexual. As for me, I'm pansexual. I don't care about gender as long as the person is smart and of legal age.

_**3. You do realize that Mountain Dew reduces your sperm count, right?**_

I don't care! It is delicious! I mean the Mountain Dew...next question.

...

This is from...there is no username. Fish, what should I say?

**Fish: Rasputin!**

Why Rasputin?

**Fish: Why not? He's Russia's greatest love machine!**

Okay, these next questions are from...Rasputin...

_**First, I would like to say I think you're awesome. And I like fistbumps better than high fives. Now, these are my questions.**_

Well I'm flattered. *Fist-bump*

_**Número Uno, Sanubis or Salt? I mean, I have a lot of friends debating on this.**_

Well, neither. One's way too old and a creep, and the other is going to die. She should end up with Zia or who ever that boy is.

**Fish: Zia's a girl.**

Oh. Well this is awkward.

_**Ikalawa, How do you feel about the Philippines?**_

The food is good.

**Fish: Really? That's it?**

I'm hungry, sorry.

_**Three, Give me an explanation on why Felix likes penguins. I would like to hear it.**_

A penguin saved him from certain death.

**Fish: Now you're just making stuff up!**

Too much whiskey. I'll try to do the next one sober.

_**Four, If I bring a hammer to school in order to flip out and try to kill my friends, what will happen?**_

You will get arrested, sent to therapy, and possibly executed depending on your state/country. :)

_**Five, Does Anubis really have a Nick Jonas Pillow Pet?**_

No, but he has a lifesized Backstreet Boys poster.

_**Six, I like pie! Do you?**_

...some kinds.

_**Seven, BANNANA!**_

Terra cotta banana terra cotta, terra cotta pie.

**Fish: I have trained you well in the ways of SOAD! *evil laugh*.**

_**Eight, Is Anubis Emo?**_

He's more like a girl on her period. So, yes.

_**Nine, Am I asking to many questions?**_

Not really.

_**Ten, What is the effect of cellophane on monggo Plants, it's for my Science**_

I don't want to do your homework for you, but different colours of cellophane can affect the growth of mongoo plants.

...

From _Riddle Goddess_.

_**k, these r really good, keep up the good work. Thoth, r u planning to talk to anubis about his.. relationship, if not please talk yo osiris/sadie's dad can u post ur conversation to either one of them on here**_.

I couldn't get hold of Osiris or Julius Kane, but I did manage to get hold of Set.

**[The epic conversation]**

**Thoth: Hey, Set. Your son is being really creepy and he already has a wife. You should do something about his creepy obsession with teenage girls because I'm afraid his jackal instincts are going to kick in and he's going to try to mark his territory on her or something.**

**Set: Dude, I'm not even his real father.**

**Thoth: Oh.**

**[And scene!]**

I'll try to talk to Osiris or Julius about it, but for some reason I can't find them.

...

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**I can't believe I didn't keep up with this...Sigh. So, you think I might have ADHD or tinnitus? I also realize I didn't log in last time...Okay...QUESTION TIME!**_

Oh, hey! Sorry if I scared you into thinking you're suffering from a terrible symptom or a developmental disorder.

_**1) Does it annoy you when people type in capital letters for too long? If so...I LIKE TO ANNOY PEOPLE.**_

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH SPEAKING CONSTANTLY IN CAPITAL LETTERS IS THAT PEOPLE MAY THINK I'M YELLING AT THEM. IN REALITY, I AM PERFECTLY CALM RIGHT NOW.

_**2) Did you watch the movie 'Remember The Titans'? It's really good. And when I say 'Titans', I don't mean Greek mythology.**_

Yeah, I liked it, but I'm not really a sports person so I couldn't get into it too much.

_**3) What's your view on socks? I like socks.**_

Socks...socks are nice.

_**4) Did you ever go to Hell's Gate, British Columbia, Canada? I want to. I heard the view was pretty.**_

Yep. It is very pretty.

_**5) Think of the first person that comes to your head right now. Who is it?**_

George Carlin. Don't ask, Fish made me watch too many of his comedy shows last night.

**Fish: One can never have too much George Carlin!**

_**7) Tell me about that person.**_

He's a comedian, but he's very crude and often controversial.

_**8) My teacher was telling me about those questions, and what type of answers you could get. Smart, huh?**_

Okay. :)

_**9) Do you think robots could try and take over the world? You know, when they're really advance?**_

Well for a man-made device to take over the world, it has to be smarter than man. So if robots are going to take over the world, there's going to have to be another person controlling them.

_**10) Do you like the Looney Tunes? Do you?**_

I've never seen enough of it to form a solid opinion.

_**Hmm...That's it. Feel free to tell me if my grammar is wrong.**_

Okay. In question 9, it should have been "advanced" not "advance". Also in question 8, you really don't need the comma after questions. Other than that, it's fine.

...

There are lots of records that depict Set as being bisexual or gay, so I didn't make that up.

Anyway, I'm glad that Yuu brought up My Immortal, because this is kind of related. So allow me to go off on a tangent for a while, because I saw what might be the greatest Kane Chronicles fanfiction out there. And by greatest I mean worst.

It has quite a few reviews and I noticed many people who left questions on this story also left reviews on that one, so most of you probably know what I'm talking about (I'mDifferent-GetOverIt did leave a rather professional and thought out review though on further investigation the story didn't really deserve a proper critique).

Anyway, the story I'm talking about is called The Prayer Warriors: Attack of the Sphinx.

This story fascinates me for a number of reasons. One: even though I frequently check the Kane Chronicles page on , I only saw this story recently. Two: the idea that TKC even has a fanfiction like this. I'm not saying all fanfictions in the TKC fandom are masterpieces (clearly not if you look at my work), but usually it's bigger fandoms that get stories like this. And third: the fact that a lot of people can't tell that it's obviously fake.

I'm not being overly optimistic, but I've seen stories like this. It's like a combination of The Wolf Blood Lineage (which is the most twisted, sexually bizarre fanfiction I _ever_ read) and Harry Potter Turns to the Lord. I've read many terrible fanfictions over the course of my life, and I can pretty much sense when one is just a troll fic from a mile away. I'm about 90% sure that this story is fake.

So I'm just going to ignore it and go on with my life, right? Nope. I'm planning on doing an epic reading of it. Why? Why not.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys. It's me again anyway, these first questions are from _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt._

_**Different has returned on her mobile phone! xD Thank you for the comment about how professional my review was; I like to keep things professional. Okay, question time!**_

_**Have you ever been sent to a rubber room with people in white jackets?**_

I was never sent to one, but I did get to see the inside of a rubber room. You see, I had to break Khonsu out...never mind.

_**what is your favorite place in the world?**_

Probably the library. Predictable? Yes, but what else did you expect?

_**Can you turn your tongue into a four leaf clover?**_

I...uh...what? Why would I?

_**Have you ever found a four leaf clover?**_

I don't find them, I make them. *like a boss*

_**Are you weirded out that I'm asking you about a plant?**_

I've gotten weirder questions.

_**Do you like explosions?**_

It really depends. Sometimes I like them in some movies, but not a big fan of them in real life. Also, sometimes they can take away from a movie.

_**What about lava lamps?**_

They're a little too distracting in my opinion.

_**Have you ever broken a lava lamp?**_

I got in a fight with Khonsu. I still feel really bad about it. I just hope it didn't poison him.

_**What is the point of life?**_

The point of life is for you to find out what the point of life is. You can't have someone tell you what the point to your life is, you have to find it yourself. But I already told you so...spoiler alert?

_**Can you do a headstand?**_

Against a wall, yes. I can't stay upside down for too long, though,

_**What about rapping?**_

There is tasteful and well-made rap out there, but you're not going to find most of it in the mainstream.

_**And last but not least...is your handwriting neat?**_

Unfortunately, no. A lot of the other gods can't even read my handwriting, but in a way I like it like that.

_**Okay, bye until next time! Keep writing! ~Different**_

Okay. Goodbye!

...

From _Metal Star Tiger._

_**HI AGAIN! You forgot one of the questions last time...Number 6! Ah, oh well. So...HELLO AGAIN!**_

Oh, sorry about that. I'll answer it right now.

_**What colour do you think of when you think of that person **_**[George Carlin]**_**? Why?**_

I don't know...black? He usually wore black shirts.

_**And I wanted to clear something up. I do think of zombies, teddy bears, chocolate, and weaponry 24/7. But it's in my subconscious. I think about other stuff too. Like ninjas... But there is always that little zombie teddy bear made out of chocolate and carries around lots of weapons that runs around in my mind...That sounded strange...**_

Yes. Yes it did. It probably says something about your psychology and you could grow up to become the leader of a medium-sized country, or a serial killer. Either way, I'm going back to the moon.

_**1) What's your favourite type of music?**_

Blues, jazz, classic rock, classical.

_**2) If someone questioned your authority, would you kill them?**_

Even worse: I will raise my eyebrow at them. You don't want that.

_**3) What's the formula for a triangular prism? I know this, but still...It's nice to have a god of wisdom tell you... **_

You mean the surface area? SA = bh + (S1 + S2 + S3)H.

_**4) What do you think of multitasking? Currently, I'm listening to music, drawing a picture, and writing this review.**_

Well multitasking can be harmless (though it can lead to being unorganized), but only if you're not multitasking while doing anything important. For example: don't play the guitar while driving. It will not end well.

_**5) Do you like cereal?**_

Yes, just not the kind with the marshmallows.

_**6) What is your opinion on popcorn?**_

Are you looking through your pantry while you're asking me questions or something? Anyway, I like popcorn. But I like kettle corn more.

_**7) Rottweilers?**_

I don't get along with dogs by default. I was visiting one of my fellow professors and their dog began humping my leg and I screamed like a girl and ran home.

_**8) German shepherds? I love them...**_

Same thing. I don't mind them, but dogs kind of creep me out.

_**9) What's your favourite colour? Mine's black. Then red, then orange.**_

I like neutral colours and some shades of green.

_**10) Least favourite colour?**_

Most neon colours.

_**TH- TH- THAT'S ALL FOLKS! I like Looney Tunes.**_

Hope to hear from you soon.

...

From _gingerroor15._

_**Okay, thanks. I have a question, and then my friends have some questions for**_

_**you.**_

Okay, let's hear it.

_**Is there a branch of magic somewhat specific to you? Like, healing to Sehkmet, combat to Horus, so on and so forth.**_

Hieroglyphic magic. You may think that's Isis' branch of magic, but it's not. It's mine and she stole it from me.

...

These are from _Broadway4eva._

_**Hello, there! So, first question (I have a series of five): what political party do you belong to?**_

Okay, hun, let me try to explain this. I've been around for centuries. Maybe even more. So modern politics in one country doesn't have much of an impact on me. On that note, over the centuries I've been alive, I've seen governments fall apart and I've seen the same mistakes being made over and over again. It's becoming tiresome, and I'm not one to say.

No hard feelings, I'm just not a fan of picking sides.

_**Second question: What is your favorite song?**_

Oh gosh, um...probably Minnie the Moocher by Cab Calloway.

_**Third question: Do you enjoy the presence of yaks, or has your experience with your yak friend that ran out of food scarred you?**_

That yak was special to me, so I don't seek out the company of yaks anymore.

_**Fourth question: Name the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you. (well, in all technicalities, that's not a question, but oh, well!)**_

One day, I was walking through the park and there was this homeless man giggling to himself and running around the park in footie pajamas. Then he started swinging on the swings and continued to laugh to himself and when I asked him if he was okay, he looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"The Carebears will show you the way!"

_**Fifth question: Who is your favorite artist?**_

Visual artist? I'm going to have to go with Hieronymus Bosch.

...

These questions are from _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1._

_**:D**_

:/

_**1. Do you know that Sadie thinks you're awful at guitar? What is your reaction to this?**_

Well she liked 5,000-year-old men with no social skills, so I don't think she should decide what's tasteful and what's not.

_**2. What is it exactly that makes Isis and Bast dislike/hate you?**_

Conflicting personalities, mostly.

_**4. Name your top 3 favorite mortal inventions. (From modern times.)**_

3. The printing press.

2. Moving pictures.

1. Talking pictures.

_**5. I'm actually typing these questions while procrastinating. I'm actually supposed to be doing my HW right now. I hate to procrastinate but I'm tempted to. GOD OF WISDOM, what should I do to prevent procrastination? Oh, and I'm typing with a pen, too. I have SERIOUS issues**_.

Buy a planner. Keep track of everything you have to do and schedule your time accordingly. Try to keep yourself away from distractions until you've finished your work.

_**6. How did Fish kidnap you, exactly?**_

She just appeared in my lab, grabbed me, and dragged me back to Arizona. I was too shocked to do anything, but she gave me whiskey and Skyrim so I'm okay.

_**7. Are you married to Ma'at or Seshat? or both? Which one of them is prettier? I saw their "official pictures" on Wikipedia. And personally, I think that Seshat has a better outfit.**_

Both of my marriages with them were arranged, but I'm in love with Ma'at. Seshat and I are more like brother and sister. So it's pretty obvious that I think Ma'at is more beautiful out of the two.

_**8. On a scale of 1-10, how good is Wikipedia?**_

Probably a 6.5 or a 7. It's good for quick information, but it's not always accurate. Check your sources, folks.

_**9. Did you ever search yourself on the internet?**_

Yes. All the time. With the safe search off. Because I'm Egypt's greatest love machine.

_**10. Are my questions annoying you? Tell me!**_

Not really.

_**THIS is EXTREMELY FUNNY!**_

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU! :D :D :D

_**I like having my questions answered in non-boring ways!**_

Poodles...

_**p.s: Thoth, if you are bothering Fish, stop it.**_

Whose side are you on? _She kidnaped me!_

...

These questions are from _Elinor Nightshade_.

_**Hi Lord Thoth,**_

Lord Thoth...I like that.

_**1. Why are you friends with the phsosiopath(aka Khonsu)?**_

Well we're both moon gods so we have that in common, also I help keep Khonsu in line when I can. Sure we don't have much in common, but we've been friends for a while.

_**2. What is Wadjet goddess of?**_

She's the protector of Lower Egypt and women in childbirth.

_**3. How can I get revenge on a certain Moon god for something he did not know**_

_**he did?**_

You know, revenge isn't as satisfying if the person you're trying to get revenge on doesn't know they even did anything. But Khonsu isn't really a bad guy. He just has...issues.

_**4. What do you think of Zoe Nightshade?**_

Sorry, but I have no idea who that is. Sounds like a name for a super hero.

_**Thank you,**_

_**E**_

You're welcome...

T.

...

**Hey, it's Fish. Just wanted to tell you that the story about the homeless man was based on a true story. Don't go walking through parks late at night when it's April 20****th****.**


	7. Chapter 7

Hello my dears. Well, I'm still here. Let's answer some questions.

From _ClairieTKC_.

_**Ello, Lord Toth ;)**_

I'm really digging this "lord" business.

_**Have you ever listened to the song Oh If I Catch You by Michel Teló, if you have, did you like it?**_

It was pretty good, but I like it a lot better in Portuguese.

...

So here's a few questions from _MissAce98._

_**Hi!**_

Ciao.

_**1.I have to throw away my earphones alot because I either can't hear from one DO I DO?**_

They're breaking. What you can do (or get someone else to do for you) is find a good soldering iron and resolder the ear-bud driver. Or you can just get new headphones. That works too.

_**2. Have you ever heard of the band Tokio Hotel and if you have, do you like them?**_

Not really my style, but I can see why someone else will like it.

_**3. Vanilla or Chocolate?**_

It really depends with what. I mean, I like vanilla ice cream more than chocolate ice cream, but I like hot chocolate more than that weird stuff Nut makes.

_**4. Do you have a Facebook?**_

No. Never. I do have a Facebook fan-page, though. But I don't run it.

_**5. Who's nature's bandit?**_

After doing a quick Google search, I found their Myspace. They only have three songs by them posted, but how could you not love such musical genius as:

Racoon's Distress Call.

Racoon Happy Noise.

And Racoon Looking for her Siblings.

Each song is, on average, 5-12 seconds long. I'm getting a feeling that this isn't really a band.

...

From _my pretty kitty7_.

_**lord thoth (i heard on another q that you liked being called that)**_

Yes! This is glorious!

_**what is the most romantic thing you have done for ma'at?**_

Okay, you're going to laugh because I'm often told that I'm a boring guy when it comes to romance (not just by the other gods, but by humans too), but the most romantic thing I've ever done for her was one night, it was snowing outside, so we cuddled on the couch and read together all night by a fire. That's it? Was there smooth jazz playing in the background at least? Nope. There was German metal. Don't ask, Ma'at made me.

_**if ma'at never existed who would you want to marry?**_

Nut? Well she's married so...Jessica Rabbit.

**Fish: She's not even real (and she's married).**

I don't care. I will make it happen.

_**have you ever read the hunger games?**_

Yes. A very good series, but I don't know if I'll be seeing the move or not.

_**how long do you think the average human would take to read a 375 paige book?**_

The average reader reads about 300 words per minute, so roughly 8-9 hours depending on the individual.

_**do you watch/like mythbusters?**_

I'm obsessed. I used to test the myths out myself as well. I know they say in the beginning not to try any of their stunts out, but I'm a god so I get to.

_**if you were stuck on a island with 3 things of your chose (sorry for spelling**_**[ ) ]**

Uh...a pencil with unlimited lead, a notebook with unlimited paper, and a fully functional jet.

...

These questions are from _Broadway4eva._

_**I again have a series of five questions for you:**_

Bring it on.

_**1. Coke or Pepsi?**_

Coke, but I honestly don't notice any major differences.

_**2. What is your opinion on falling chandeliers?**_

Don't stand under them?

_**3. Did the Carebears ever truly show you the way?**_

I can't say they did on a moral level, but they did show me a new way to torture Set.

_**4. What is your opinion on Claude Monet?**_

He's a brilliant painter. My favourite painting is probably The Luncheon.

_**5. What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher?**_

Green apple.

...

From Elinor Nightshade.

_**Hi again Lord Thoth,**_

Hello again, Lady Nightshade.

_** you have any tips for writing a paper?**_

What type of paper? Fictional? Essay? Business? Eulogy? For some general tips, check your spelling/grammar, write what you know (unless you do research), plan your writing, and remember COW SIV (Conventions, Organization, Word choice, Sentence fluency, Idea, and Voice).

_** is the god/dess of Luck**_

(Why do I have a feeling that this is somehow linked to the first question?) A lot of the gods have lucky traits about them, but Bes is your best choice.

_** do you think of Hermes?**_

He's pretty cool, but we have a few arguments sometimes.

_**4.**_**[Response to last question] **_**Zoe Nightshade is my late sister, she died fighting an Our Father,Atlas, on and was turned into a constellation by Lady Artemis**_.

Well I'm sorry to hear that, but at least she can hang out with Nut now and drink that gross hot vanilla drink.

_** is the god/dess of Stars**_

Nut and Hathor.

_**Thank you again,**_

_**E**_

You're welcome.

T.

...

From _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1_.

_**1. What are you implying about people with no social skills?**_

Hey, I have no social skills too, but I know not to randomly make out with teenage girls in graveyards.

_**2. Chicken Wings**_

They're good until you get a job as a waiter then you will see how evil they truly are.

_**3. Are ALL the Egyptian gods ungrateful?**_

(Are you implying something about me?) No, just the ones who were involved in the Set-Horus conflict. We're actually very nice guys! Honest!

_**4. What do you do when you're not teaching, learning, or just not being yourself?**_

I hit the club! Kidding. Actually, I stay home and read, drink soda or whiskey, and play video games. At the same time.

_**5. Nerdiest thing you've ever done? (You didn't answer that question before so I'm asking it again.)**_

Sorry about that. Uh...I dressed up at the Medic from TF2 for this convention, so I guess that was the nerdiest thing I've ever done _in public_.

_**6. Are you crazy? Because I think you might be...**_

We're all a little bit crazy. Some more than others, and the crazier ones get books and movies based on them so...yeah.

_**7. (Insert random question here)**_

They both produce a few notes, all very flat, and are almost _nevar_ turned the wrong way front.

_**Bye, awesome-author and weird-knowledge-god!**_

See ya'.

...

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt._

_**FOR ONCE I AM ON MY LAPTOP! YAAAAAAAAY! :D**_

*claps*

_**1. Tell me the Khonsu story! I wanna hear!**_

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a palace. Unfortunately, she was possessed by a demon. So the priests called in Khonsu to help them. He arrived seventeen months later (which makes no sense because he can teleport). So then Khonsu was like "GTFO that princess!" And the day was saved.

**Fish: I think she's talking about the lava lamp.**

Oh. _That _story. This was back in the 60's and Khonsu spiked my drink with acid or some other hallucinatory drug. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed when the effects wore off and I smashed a lava lamp over his head. He was sent to the hospital and he uses it to guilt me into doing things a lot.

_**2. YOU'RE IN AZ? Ohhh yeah. This is my fellow Arizonian writer. xD ANYWAY, I AM IN THE GRAND CANYON STATE AS WELL!**_

Yes...the land of the giant hole. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about people randomly stalking or visiting me because no one visits Fish.

**Fish: :(**

_**3. Do you own a penguin?**_

No. Should I? I don't think it could live for very long here. Or back home for that matter.

_**4. A miniature horse?**_

A pony? Ponies frighten me, to be honest. Especially when they're in cartoon form.

_**5. Do you enjoy mini muffins?**_

I must say I enjoy them very much.

_**6. Have you ever had a mini bagel?**_

They're pretty good.

_**7. What if some random person came up to you in the street and told you, "I love you." How would you react?**_

Nod awkwardly, pat them on the back, and run away. There's a good chance it might be the homeless man who was talking about Carebears.

_**8. I meant, last time, can YOU rap?**_

_Now this is the story all about how,_

_my life got flipped, turned upside down._

_And I'd like to_ _take a minute just sit right there__

No. I can't.

_**Anyway. Bye until next time!**_

_**Keep writing!**_

_**~Different**_

Okay, see you soon.

...

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5._

_**Hello Mr. Awesome! (no, not you fish)**_

**Fish: :(**

Hello.

_**First off, is it true that set, ahem, 'did something' (hint hint) to horus?**_

Yes. Yes it is. Set was like "come stay at my place, Horus! I know we just had a war, but what's the harm?" And Horus was like "Herp a derp, okay!" And then _that_ happened.

_**Don't you think horus is an immature *-hole?**_

Eh...yes. He's young, but still!

_**If Annubis DID marry sadie, (which I kinda support XD) would that create a demigod?**_

Yes it would result in a demigod, but it would be a terrifying-looking one. You know, jackal head, glowing red eyes, but the most adorable little button nose you'll ever see!

_**Please read my fanfiction :D**_

Skimmed some of them, and I really like your Team Fortress 2 fanfictions.

_**Has Set ever Rick rolled you or any other god?**_

Well he never Rick rolled me because I'm perfect, but he did Rick roll Anubis once. He was just...confused.

_**What is your opinion on Gordon Freeman and GlaDOS?**_

I'm obsessed with Half Life and Portal, so I really like them. Wheately from Portal 2 is also one of my favourites.

_**What does the number 42 mean to you?**_

Well there's 42 principles of Ma'at, 42 gods who represent those principles, and 42 Nomes (back in Egypt).

_**What is your reaction to fangirls at your door?**_

I don't really have fangirls.

_**Fanboys? (the kind who are just big fans)**_

Same, but according to Fish, Set has a fanboy. I'm not just talking about a boy who is a big fan, but pretty much a fangirl...that is male.

_**Have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?**_

Yes, and I'm also obsessed.

_**Have you ever played it with the gods? if so, please give me a little sample, you know, that makes a good idea for a fanfiction...**_

No one wants to play with me! Even Khonsu! The god of gambling doesn't want to play a healthy game of Dungeons and Dragons with me! That's just wrong!

...

**Yay! Author note time! The story about Khonsu is an actual Egyptian myth (not the one with the lava lamp) and what happened between Set and Horus did happen, but I just spared you some of the details.**


	8. Chapter 8

Well there's quite a few questions so let's start answering.

This one is from _realeddielopez04_.

_**thoth when will ANUBIS propose to SADIE in READING THE RED PYRAMID**_

I don't quite understand your question. If you're asking when is Anubis going to propose to Sadie, the answer is...when she's of legal age? I don't know what this has to do with the Red Pyramid, though. Sorry.

...

From _MissAce98._

_**Hola Lord Thoth! XD **_

_Buenas tardes_, Miss Ace.

_**'s Khonsu's branch of magic?**_

I don't think he has his own branch of magic, but a combination of different types of magic.

_**2. Ever heard of T-ara?**_

They're pretty good, but I'm not the biggest K-pop fan.

**Fish: How dare you.**

_**3. Which NBA team do you go for?**_

I'll be honest, I know nothing about sports. So I'm just going to do a google search and chose the one with the coolest name. Uh...Miami Heat has a pretty cool logo so...yeah them.

_** Carebear do you think is a lot like you?**_

Probably Smart Heart Bear. A bit obvious, but it seems to fit.

_**5. Ever visted El Salvador?**_

Yes, but briefly. It's a very pretty country.

_**6. What would you do if Khonsu said:**_

_**I'M BATMAN-COME,ROBIN-TO THE BATCAVE!**_

Probably something like,

"No, Khonsu. You're Robin. I'm always Batman and I will never be Robin."

...

Okay, these are from _my pretty kitty7_.

_**Lord Thoth, How do you think Master Thoth sounds?**_

Makes me feel like I'm some kind of sadist or something...but I like it!

_**What do you think of Country music?**_

I like some of it, but like rap, I'm not a big fan of most of the stuff that's popular now. Of course I am a Johnny Cash fan.

_**If Khufu eats food that ends with O then does that mean that he eats toes and noses?**_

Well "nose" and "toes" don't end in "o", so I don't think so.

_**What is your least favorite food?**_

Animals with tentacles. Squids, octopuses...Cthulhu...yeah, anything like that.

_**Do you know if any of the other gods read the hunger games?**_

I know Anubis did, Khonsu read it (and enjoyed it a little too much), Seshat did, and that's all I can think of at the top of my head.

_**What do you think of Justin Bieber? (i hate him)**_

He's not good enough to justify the immense fan-base he has, but he's not bad enough to justify the extreme hate. He's the definition of "meh".

...

Some questions from _Broadway4eva._

_**Hiya! Again, five more questions.**_

Let's do this.

_**1. Why do the different countries and tribes of the world speak different languages?**_

This is a very complicated question, so I'll try to answer it clearly in a clever metaphor.

Have you ever played the game "Telephone"? You know, the one where a bunch of people stand in a line and one person whispers something into the next person's ear, then they have to whisper that to the next person and so on? Well even though there's many different reasons why humans have such a diverse language, but it's mostly based on geography. A lot of tribes and countries were brought up in different locations so they developed their own languages and cultures, and when they did "meet", a lot of languages borrowed things from each other (Russian is based on Greek). There's more to it, but I hope that helps.

_**2. How did the Carebears show you a new way to torture Set?**_

Have you ever seen a god of chaos being forced to watch Carebears? Well it's pretty entertaining to say the least (not the Carebears).

_**3. Hypothetically, could the entire world be a paradox in itself? (Look at me, getting ideas from Inception...)**_

Hey, good movie. Well the entire world could be made up of many different paradoxes.

_**4. What is the ingredient difference in Coke and Pepsi?**_

A lot of people claim that Pepsi is slightly sweeter than Coke, but some researchers are saying that there is no difference and it's *gasp* all in our minds!

_**5. What is your opinion on the painting Water Lilies by Claude Monet. (Sorry for all the Monet questions, he's my favorite artist.)**_

Hey, don't worry about it. I love the way he almost makes the water look real, but you're still aware you're looking at a painting. I don't know how to describe it, his paintings are kind of in a space between reality and the fictional world.

...

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5._

_**I used to like set, then I realized he was gay, and took an arrow in the knee ):**_

You're not saying there's something wrong with gay people, are you? I mean, I can't name one god that, over the course of their immortal life, hasn't had a *ahem* "moment". Actually, Set isn't the only gay (or bisexual) god. Apollo is also considered to be homosexual. Also, just because a gay person kidnaped me and is now forcing me to answer a bunch of questions doesn't mean they're all bad.

_**YOU FOOL! HOW DID YOU NOT GET THE HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY REFERENCE?**_

To be honest, I had no idea you were making a reference. I hear so many people saying the meaning of our existence is "42" without knowing the origin. Kind of like the "cake is a lie" thing.

_**As the god of knowledge, shouldn't you know everyone's secret name?**_

No, sadly I don't. If I did, things would be a _lot_ different around here.

_**Horus... wow, just... wow, how can he be so gullible?**_

I don't know. I thought he would get better with age.

_**Show this to the other gods: .com/?q=kane%20chronicles&order=9&offset=264#/d2vp362 tell me their reactions**_

Most of the reactions were either "Thoth, were you searching yourself on Deviantart again?" or "Uh...what is this?" None of the gods get the internet like I do, sadly.

_*** switch to epic deep voice* Force the gods to play DnD! blackmail them if need be! They shall know the glory of the RPG! And you, great Thoth, shall be the DM, may the screen serve you well, and the dice roll in your favor... and troll horus.**_

Sorry, but I consider myself to be above blackmailing. But I'll try. Just for you.

_**If there really are Egyptian gods, and they aren't bad people, why does justin beiber still live?**_

Because Justin Bieber isn't really a bad person? Just a bad musician.

_**have you ever heard of alice cooper?**_

Yes, and he is awesome.

_**are you white and nerdy? (weird al reference)**_

Now I am, but back in ancient Egypt I was black and nerdy.

_**do you like animie? ( I mean GOOD animie, like spirited away, ponyo, totoro and other studio gibli films)**_

I like some Studio Ghibli films (wasn't the biggest fan of Tortoro, sadly). But my favourite animes are things like Paranoia Agent, Flying Trapeze, and Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

...

From _Elinor Nightshade_.

_**Hi agian Lord Thoth,**_

Hello.

_**1. Happy Valentines Day!**_

Happy Valentine's Day to you too. :)

_**2. I have determined that Khonsu is the source of all evil and Chaos(sorry Set, you`re to Puck-ish(Mid Summer`s Night Dream FTW)) and have taken it upon myself to rid the universe of his evil and phycopathic ways. Thoughts?**_

Please don't kill my friend. :(

Anyway, about Set. Even though this is kind of a difficult concept to grasp, but Set is important in the order of the universe as well. All the gods have their place, but some are just slightly more *ahem* unhinged than others. I don't think Khonsu is that evil. I mean, he goes through with his deals, he saved a princess, and he helped me through a lot of things.

_**Thank you,**_

_**E**_

You're welcome.

Mr. T.

...

From _Yuu_.

_**Hullo again, Master Thoth.**_

Master...Lord...this is awesome!

_**How exactly do u do that ritual thingy in the land of the dead? The one tha can be seen/read in the book of the dead.**_

Uh...which ritual are you talking about? There's quite a few of them.

_**Have you been to the Philippines? What about Italy? Germany? Prussia? Hungary? Austia? Canada? Spain? France? Japan? Vietnam? India?**_

Well I've visited pretty much all of those countries, but I've only lived in the European ones.

_**Okay, I am sorry for the many countries but I am just a plain History geek.**_

Hey, don't worry about it.

...

These are from _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1_.

_**1. Oh, okay. Because if you were trying to say something bad about people with no social skills, (like me)then I'd be pretty pissed with you.**_

Okay...

_**2. Alternative rock, Rap(not the old rap though, the new rap that's out there today),country, and pop ... Which two are the best?**_

Alternative rock and "old" country music. I guess some "old" pop songs too.

_**3. I didn't mean to say that YOU are ungrateful,(because you're cool!)**_

Yay! You get a virtual hug.

_**4. O_O You play video games? What video games do you play?**_

Let's see. Skyrim, TF2, Portal (2), Minecraft, The Sims, Rockband, and L.A. Noire.

_**5. Say a wise quote.**_

"Anything that's too stupid to be spoken is sung" -Voltaire.

_**6. Horus has a wife, right? Wait, don't answer that, I know that he's married to Hathor. (I searched that on Google and I searched Thoth ,too.)But HOW could he have a wife, if he is just SO arrogant, selfish, etc. I mean, what kind of goddess would want someone like THAT as a husband?**_

Well if you look throughout history, it's pretty obvious that women aren't 100% against being with men who are selfish and arrogant while perfectly nice guys (like me) get left in the dust. But I have a wife so it's okay.

_**7. What do you think about "text-speak"? Say something to me in "text speak."**_

I really hate "text speak" and I will not speak in text speak. I'll speak in L33t instead. N0W l37'2 m0v3 0n 70 73H n3x7 QU35710n.

_**8. Are the Egyptian gods on good terms with the Greek gods?**_

Of course there's some conflict, but we're okay.

_**9. Can I call you weird-knowledge-god?**_

If it truly makes you happy.

_**Great chapter! Thanks Fish...**_

**Fish: Yay!**

*frowns*

_**... and Thoth...**_

Yay.

...

Okay, this is from _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**Hellop.**_

Hey...p.

_**1- When I walk in the spot, (yea) this is what I see (okaay) Everybody stops and they staring at me I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it... I'm sexy and I know it. OOOPS! sorry, listening to my iPod. do U know the song Sexy and I Know It by LMAFO? if so, what do you think of it?**_

No. No. No! Ever since that song came out, both Khonsu and Set will burst out singing that song whenever they enter a building! It's terrible!

_**2- Why was necrophilia, incest, and some other weird stuff allowed in Ancient Egypt? i know that the Egyptians did it because they thought that their gods did the same thing, but still.**_

Well that's not really why they did it. It was a different time. Incest was common because you had to keep the royal blood moving. Zoophilia was practiced for both religious and magical reasons because animals were thought to be linked to the spirit world, and necrophilia...well let's say the people who had to mummify the bodies often couldn't help themselves, and that's why the corpses of beautiful women had to be left out to rot for at least three days (I'm a little surprised that Anubis didn't do anything about that).

_**3- Merry Christmas!**_

Crap. How late did I get to this question.

_**4- LALA la**_

...uh huh...

_**Bye! bye! FISH! continue working on this!**_

**Fish: I shall!**

Oh no.

_**BYE BYE! NERD god!**_

I control your afterlife, miss.

...

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt._

_**I have returned.**_

Yay!

_**1. Was that clap sarcastic**_

No, but unfortunately it's hard to determine a person's tone over the internet.

_**2. I guess, technically speaking, the Grand Canyon IS a giant hole...but whatever.**_

Well to be fair it is a very pretty hole.

_**3. Is it bad if you feel like your throat is swelling?**_

You might want to see a doctor. You know, before you stop breathing.

_**4. Have you ever cried over a book?**_

Many times. The last book I remember crying over was The Giver.

_**5. What would you do if someone threw their shoe at you?**_

Get off the karaoke stage?

_**6. Do you ever get bored of being a god?**_

Sometimes, but not often. Honestly, it's pretty awesome.

_**I'm feeling lazy, so that's all for now. BYE!**_

_**~Different**_

Okay, see ya'.

...

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**Hi Thoth! Hi Fish! I swear, I would've reviewed sooner, my computer was being messed up. So, in class today, my teacher made us think of random and unusual questions to write down. Questions that shouldn't be easy to answer. So, I think so of my questions deserve a little screen time. And you're the god of wisdom. No harm, right? And you think I might be a leader of a medium sized country? I seriously doubt that. Or a serial killer? I always thought that if I were ever a criminal, I'd be a thief...**_

Well I'm glad you're not going to be a serial killer. :)

_**1) If an AK-47 came to life, and it was really sensitive, and you insulted it, would it go on a rampage? Destroying everything in its path?**_

Maybe, but if an AK-47 came to life, would the bullets be its internal organs?

_**2) If someone created a giant robotic spider, capable of doing anything, but it tried to destroy the world, would the creator be considered a genius or a villain?**_

Both. They would be a genius, but they would also be a jerk.

_**3) If a shark and a squirrel SOMEHOW had a kid together, would the kid be a mutant sunflower's best friend?**_

What the...well obviously.

_**And this is one my fiend made up;**_

_**4) What if everything was a figment of our imaginations? How would you know if you're psycho or not?**_

Their question is an example of an unfalsifiable hypothesis. As outrageous as it is, there's no way we can prove it's wrong. So yes, it is a little creepy.

_**That one freaks me out. What if everything you ever knew was a figment of your imagination? Ugh, that hurts my brain just thinking about it.**_

Just think of the zombie teddy bears and everything will be okay.

_**I don't have too many questions today...AU REVOIR!**_

Bye! :)

...

From _gingerroot15._

_**Okay, my computer was being a jerk and not letting me log in. But I'm here now.**_

Well was it the computer, or your mind? *Twilight Zone theme*.

_**... 8-9 hours for the average human being to read a 375-page book? I read a 700-page book in two hours. Is that normal?**_

Well it just means you're a fast reader. The statistic I listed was the average amount plus work, school and social interactions. A person could probably read a lot more in one sitting.

...


	9. Chapter 9

Let's do this!

From _realeddielopez04_.

_**never mind :ANUBIS : i dare you to ask sadie to go to farm road New York and enter camp half blood and ask percy if he will ask nico de angelo if he`ll go out with her you beter not back out or else*has anubis go to sleep put WHipcream on his face and tickles his cheek with a feather anubis puts his hand in WHipedcream*hahahahahahahahahahaha *EVIL LOUGHTER×∞***_

Uh...Anubis isn't really here right now...but I'll be sure to tell him that.

...

These are from _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**Have you ever LARPed?**_

Yes. It was awesome, but it was even more awesome when you have actual powers to use.

_**Why has Notch, the creator of Minecraft, not achieved godhood yet?**_

In my mind, he's more like a hero than a god. Because if you label people as a god, you're putting them on the same level as people like Horus (not that I don't like you, Horus. Please don't kill me).

_**As the god of knowledge, do you know ow to shout? (as in FUS RO DA)**_

Yes, but only in Skyrim. It doesn't really work in the real world, unfortunately.

_**Why is half life 2: episode 3 still not out? is this sets fault?**_

Set couldn't care less about the release dates of video games. My advice, just try to be patient. I'm still waiting for us to meet the Pyro.

_**What is your favorite class in team fortress 2?**_

The Medic.

_**Why don't you make set watch my little pony too? or is he a brony?**_

I'm kind of afraid that he'll either become a brony, or gather an army of bronies.

...

From _TricksterPrincess_.

_**Buenos Dias! Tardes? Noche? I give up, I have no idea what the heck time one that you are being held hostage in, I apologize. First of all I want to state that I have lost the Game.**_

:(

_**1. When exactly is Walt going to die?**_

A few years, maybe. I don't know the exact date, though.

_**2. Why is it that Nico Di Angelo bares a resemblance to Anubis? Other than the fact they're both emo and death people?**_

I don't know if they have that much in common, but maybe Nico is Anubis! *Twilight Zone theme*

_**3. On the topic of Nico, do you think Sadico would make a good pairing? Sadie and Nico that is.**_

Eh...maybe? First they have to, you know, meet.

_**4. Why can't the Egyptians help the Greeks with their war and vice versa?**_

Because it will throw off the balance of the universe. We have to do our thing, and they have to do their's.

_**5. Have you ever heard of Rick Riordan?**_

Who? :)

_**6. Is Rick a magician or something, because he's also a demigod scribe...**_

I still have no idea who you are talking about. :)

_**7. Do you watch Glee?**_

I can't say I do.

_**8. Zebras or Weasels? And yes I do mean Zia or Walt?**_

Zebras.

_**9. Explain what Ra means by Weasel Cookie.**_

Well, weasel means "Walt" and cookie means "camp". Yes, he's being sent to Camp Half Blood to escape his fate. I'm kidding.

_**10. Is Sadie mentally screwed up?**_

No, just a teenage girl.

_**11. Was Carter stupid to fall in love with a shabti?**_

Well it was an attractive and realistic shabti. So no.

_**12. Opinion on Twilight?**_

Well if it's causing people to read more and introduce them to more books, than I think it's okay. The issues I have with it are mostly based on how I think our society is above this. Twilight is like a modern fairytale like Cinderella or Snow White, but we forgive those stories because they were created centuries ago. Twilight was only written recently, but the way it treats roles in both women and relationships show resemblance to those back when those fairytales were written.

_**13. On the topic of Twilight, Werewolves or Vampires?**_

Vampires. Not Twilight vampires, but real vampires. I just like the class that vampires have.

_**14. Would you rather be a panda or a penguin?**_

A panda, because I don't like cold weather.

_**15. Have you ever read Harry Potter?**_

I have, and it was great.

_**16. My friends have crushes on fictional characters and date them in their imagination such as Anubis and Nico Di Angelo, we're only ten. Have any advice for me to give them?**_

Well in my opinion, 10-years-old is too young to date anyway. You can let them have their crushes, but sometimes things like that can get a bit creepy. Stop them before they start buying body pillows with their favourite characters printed on them.

...

From _**FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1**_.

_**As you can see from my pen-name, it's me... I'm too lazy too log in so yeah... on with the questions...**_

_**1. Another virtual hug! *spreads out arms***_

*Virtual hugs back*

_**2. I've played a few of the games you mentioned there.:) but The Sims? Really? Why? I thought that you were a god who had A LIFE. Don't hate on me, please.**_

Think of it this way: even though I am a god, I can't lock real people in a room with a fireplace and no door and watch it burn to the ground. And also, I _have_ no life! I'm dating a concept, my other girlfriend is my poster of Catherine Zeta Jones, I haven't spoken to my daughter in years, and I'm living with a 20-something-year-old psychology student who kidnaped me.

_**3. Still, who would be want to be with *gulp* Horus?**_

The same people who would want to be with Set. You know, the whole "bad boy" image some women seem to like?

_**4. Have you ever been to Central America? If so, which countries?**_

I've been to pretty much all the countries in the world, but I've only lived in North America and Europe for long periods of time.

_**5. What if humans created a HUGE robot that was meant for a certain purpose, but it turned away from humans and started killing everyone? I've actually played a game in which that happened and I was SO scared that I turned off that game immediately.**_

Sorry to hear that. Well the only way I can imagine something like that happening is the invention of the microbots. These are microscopic robots that are injected into the blood stream and they pretty much carry out the duties of white blood cells. But what if they begin to malfunction? Spoiler alert: we're all screwed.

_**6. I don't like text speak either but I going to type something in text speak just to annoy you: hai, wats up? wat r u doin rite now? i amm taipin in txt tak rite now just 4 u! **_

:(

_**Bye, Fish, until you post again!**_

**Fish: See ya'!**

_**Thoth: u 2, c ya l8tr! hav a gr8t day!**_

I h8 this.

...

From _**Yeahlikeiwilltellumyname**_

_**Do u like Athena**_

I already answered this, but to summarize my answer, we both respect each other and we are both influenced by each other.

_**y dont u like her**_

I never said that...

_**Is she preatty**_

I guess she's fairly attractive, but she's not really the kind of woman I'm into.

_**Did u like having sex with Nut**_

Yes, but those days are behind me now because now I have a wife.

_**are u sure u dont like athena**_

Yes, I'm certain that I am not attracted to Athena in a romantic or sexual way.

_**why are u retarded**_

I'm fairly certain that I don't have any mental disabilities that affects my intelligence.

_**do u like cookies**_

Some kinds...

_**am i getting on ur nerves**_

Sure you want me to answer that?

_**if u and athena had kids would they be attractive**_

Yes, because they would be my children.

_**are u sure u are the god of wisdom or maybe ur the god of blabbermouths**_

I'm sure I'm the god of wisdom, thank you very much. And heaven forbid I *gasp* _talk_ during a Q & A!

_**I HAATE YOU!**_

*Sighs* I never thought I would have to resort to this...

*You

*Why

*Pretty

*Your

*You're

*Hate

You also forgot to capitalize the beginning of each question, you didn't capitalize Athena in question 5, you didn't add an apostrophe in don't, and you didn't use a single question mark at the end of any of your questions. Good day, sir.

...


	10. Chapter 10

Hey look. More questions. Let's answer them.

From _Riddle Goddess._

_**lord thoth, do you think cookie is carter and what would each of the gods and blood of the plararohs do if Anubis prosed to sadie please do ur best guess**_

Knowing Ra, "Cookie" could mean "Carter" or maybe something completely different. You never know. If Anubis proposed to Sadie, a lot of us would think he's an idiot. And we're right. After all, she's, like what, 8?

**Fish: She's 13**.

Oh. Next question.

...

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**I liked the last question. :P TEXT TALK AND ERRORS ANNOY ME BEYOND BELIEF! }:(**_

I KNOW! BUT CAPS LOCK WILL ALWAYS WIN! :D

_**Anyway.**_

_**Random correction: If you're from Egypt (including gods), you're Arab, not black. Just something random you pick up from being Egyptian...**_

Well it really depends how you look at it. Depending on who you talk to, some people from Egypt identify themselves as being Arabic, while some people identify themselves as being black. Also, I'm ancient Egyptian and some researchers say the original Egyptians originally from Nubians and it wasn't until much later when racial mixing came along. But the exact race of the ancient Egyptians is still up for debate.

_**Question time!**_

_**Do you like math?**_

Yes, but don't ask any math questions; Fish has to type this and I don't want her brain to fry.

_**Have you ever heard of MathCounts?**_

Not until now.

_**Oh, in what important events were you present in (like the signing of the Declaration of Independence, or other historical events)?**_

I can tell you that France in 1791 smelled really bad thanks to the Reign of Terror, I was there when the Berlin Wall was torn down, and I was there during the Reformation of the Catholic Church. There's more, but I hope that answers your question.

_**Do you enjoy learning?**_

Of course I do.

_**Have you ever hated someone so much that you want to slap them until they die, but you know you would get scolded for it?**_

I'm not very strong (physically), so I don't think I _could_ slap someone to death. But I do think about it.

_**Have you ever been abandoned?**_

My wife doesn't intentionally abandon me, but she isn't here a lot.

_**What about being in a guy-fight with big sticks?**_

I'd lose. I'm not going to lie.

_**Would you call it weird to name people after book characters?**_

As long as the book character's name isn't too weird, I guess it's fine.

_**Is there a panda in your room?**_

Where I currently am? No. Back home? I'll have to check.

_**Do you enjoy life?**_

Life is awesome unless you're dead. Then you just don't care.

...

From _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1_.

_**1. What? YOU are the god of knowledge/wisdom! and you're a professor and a god and how could YOU NOT HAVE A LIFE?**_

I work hard to have a faulty social life. It's almost like a part-time job.

_**I have no ideas on what to ask you right now. Really. :-(**_

Don't worry about it. :)

_**2. Wait... except for this: i luv txt tak! wayt no i hait it. n im veiry disapointed in u! hav bad luk 4 da rest of ur lyfe!**_

Don't worry, my mind is numb from the last chapter.

_**Okay THAT was bad...**_

I guess so.

_**Keep up with the hilariousness!**_

I'll be sure to.

...

From _**CrazyAndIKnowIt**_

_**Awesome chap!**_

You know it!

_**1- What do the gods do in their spare time?**_

I can't speak for everyone, but we do have movie and karaoke night. Hardly anyone comes.

_**2-I like paper towels and orange juice.**_

That's...nice.

_**3-How can you control MY afterlife? Isn't that supposed to be Osiris' job or somethin'?**_

Well if we were to compare the Egyptian afterlife to a courtroom, Osiris is the judge, and I am the lawyer. Now, I can be the defense attorney or a prosecutor depending if you were a jerk or not when you were alive.

_**4-Can YOU please pick up YOUR phone? I've been calling you, sweetie. Remember? For our date.**_

Ma'at? Why were you quoting LMFAO in the last chapter?

...

These are from _Cybernetic Author unit 5._

_**THE GRAMMAR AND SPELLING POLICE ARE UPON US! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!**_

You're never safe from the grammar police!

_**Has anyone ever pointed out that, technically, you and most of the other gods are, well... furies? *waits for rage***_

Yes, but it doesn't really anger me.

_**is there an egyptian god of beauty and love? (no, it is not you, sorry)**_

Dammit! It's Hathor.

_**As you are the god of wisdom, wouldn't you win in a war against Horus, as you know strategy (now that I think about it, that explains why Athena got to be the goddess of wisdom AND warfare)**_

But I'm not the god of wisdom _and_ warfare. If Horus and I were to fight one-on-one, I would lose, but if we had to organize an army and not directly fight, I would have a better chance.

_**Are these good questions?**_

Yep.

_**Has Bast ever actually had a boyfriend, or does she just speed date?**_

We dated before, but it didn't end well.

_**Can I be a guest star in one of the chapters in this?**_

I don't know what you mean by that.

_**Have you read the next part of my KC fanfiction? subscribe and I'll put you in it.**_

You can put me in the story already since I'm an official character, but I'll check it out.

...

From _TricksterPrincess_.

_**Hey Thoth! How is my favorite god of wisdom as he tried to escape being held hostage? I feel bad for you... Here is a cyberspace cookie: (::) My friend sends you greetings, she is a bit mad you gave me advice to stop crushing on Nico but that's besides the point. Although she flipped out and tried to murder me with an empty bottle of Tropicana Twister.**_

I'm doing well. I actually gave up trying to escape. Anyway, thanks for the cookie. I'm sorry your friend tried to murder you. I did not intend for that to happen.

_**Here are my questions for you...**_

_**1. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?**_

Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds, but it depends on the individual woodchuck.

_**2. Tell Anubis I hate him, and start a thing where all of the Egyptian gods call him Annie... Please?**_

I'll be sure to tell him that, but I don't think I'll be calling him "Annie". Instead, I call him "N00B."

_**3. Is there ever going to be a day when the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans collide?**_

I hope not. Because what if the gods from other mythologies come in? Not just Greek and Roman, but Aztec, Hindu, or Norse? Actually, the other gods to meet from time to time, but we try to stay out of each other's business.

_**4. Has Fish told you about Rick Riordan yet?**_

No, she has not. I'm getting a little worried.

_**5. If these worlds do collide, what will it be because of?**_

There is a theory that if Apophis takes over, every mythology and religion will collide and a whole war between the cultures will break out.

_**6. Can you see the future? If so, tell me what will happen in the Mark of Athena.**_

I can not see the future, but I can tell you that Athena does have a birthmark on the back of her left leg.

**Fish: I'm not going to say anything.**

_**7. Have you ever heard of the Sisters Grimm?**_

No, but I do know about the Grimm Brothers.

_**8. How did Fish kidnap you?**_

She just appeared behind me, grabbed me, and teleported me to Arizona. I'm just too lazy to go back now. Besides, she's paying for food and rent so I guess it's fine.

_**9. Have you ever heard of the Greek demigod Percy Jackson?**_

Hermes told him about me. Seems like a nice kid.

_**10. Give me an explanation on how to shuffle.**_

Separate the deck of cards into two even stacks, hold each stack in each hand, placing your thumbs underneath each stack and your next three fingers on the top, hold the stacks next to each other so your thumbs are almost touching, slowly release your thumb's grip on the cards and allow your other fingers to push the two stacks together. Then, form it into a single stack.

_**11. Teach me how to dougie.**_

From what I can gather, it doesn't look very hard to do. It's just moving your arms and leaning.

_**12. Ever consider taking over the world?**_

Sometimes, but I believe that people need to think for themselves. But that isn't really working out.

_**13. Baboons or Ibises?**_

Uh...ibises?

_**14. Why? In response to previous answer.**_

I'm most often represented as an ibis than a baboon, so I guess I feel more of a connection.

_**15. Sanubis is quite creepy, I'm happy you find it as well.**_

Thank you. Not to mention that Anubis is already married...to himself.

_**16. What is your favorite number? Mine is negative 36**_

108.

_**17. Are you good at sports?**_

Ha! No. Unless you count chess as a sport.

_**18. Care to tutor me on Heat Energy?**_

Heat is usually derived from atoms or molecules rubbing against each other, kind of like when you rub your hands together and they feel hot. But heat is also the transfer of one temperature to another. If you have a mug of hot tea, and you drop a cold ice cube in it, this isn't an example of the ice cooling the tea down, but the tea is transferring its heat to the ice while the ice is transferring its temperature to the tea. In a way, it's like they're evening each other out.

There are three different ways of transferring heat energy: convection, conduction, and radiation. Convection transfers the heat through the air. When the air heats up, the molecules move further apart so the air becomes less dense, thus, the air rises. Conduction transfers heat energy from one source to another when in direct contact. Solids tend to conduct heat better than liquids or gases. Radiation is the actual heat we feel from an object. The heat we feel radiates out of the source at the speed of light and we sense it as hot. When objects (and liquids and solids) heat up, they tend to expand while objects tend to contract when they get cold. This is why sometimes wood doors are hard to open on a hot day; the wood is expanding because of the heat.

_**19. Why is seven the only single digit number with two syllables?**_

In English, yes (if you don't include negative numbers). It's because of the language.

_**20. Have you ever read fanfiction?**_

Occasionally, but not often.

_**Bye, and crap! I lost the Game again!**_

SON OF A...

...

From _MissAce98._

_**Master Thoth**_

Miss Ace. We meet again.

_**1. Master or Lord?**_

Master is staring to sound a bit creepy, so lord.

_** kind of wiskey?**_

Maker's Mark.

_**3. Tell me the ibises story!**_

Once upon a time, there was an ibis that wanted to be a human. So it went to me and said,

"I want to be a human!"

And I said,

"No, you're an ibis."

The end.

_**4. Girliest thing you've done?**_

According to my friends, I tend to squeal.

_**5. What part of El Salvador have you visted?**_

_**(i.e La Union, Santa Ana (where i'm from)**_

I've been all over, but I spent more time in Ahuachapán.

...

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**Hi Thoth, Fish. I'm on my mom's laptop right now, and since I have a netbook, it's pretty hard to get used to a bigger laptop. ANYWAYS, as always, QUESTION TIE!**_

Yeah, it's pretty difficult to adjust to a different computer.

_**1) What are the symptoms for pink-eye? I want to know whether or not I'm sick**_

Redness of the eyes, red or swollen eyelids, an itching or burning feeling in the eyes, dry eyes, or sensitive eyes.

_**2) Do you like cartoons?**_

It really depends. I mean, I love films like Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Heavy Traffic, but I'm not a big fan of Doug or Heavy Metal (oh yes. I went there).

_**3) Do any of the other gods have pink frilly aprons? ANY OF THEM?**_

I really doubt it. Sorry.

_**6) Did you watch any of the 'Land Before Time' movies? Sigh...That was practically my childhood.**_

Yes, and I believe that they are great movies for kids and maybe even adults.

_**7) Do you have to give out report cards? Is it fun?**_

Well I'm a college professor, so I do everything online.

_**Well...That's it...BYE!**_

Okay, bye! Good luck with your pink eye!

...

From _gingerroor15_.

_**If you had to choose between hearing Justin Bieber in concert and eating a bucket of unsterilized syringes, which would you choose?**_

Justin Bieber concert. He's not _that_ bad.

_**Let's say you had to choose between meeting me, or my brother. Which, and why?**_

I don't know anything about your brother, and all I know about you is based on you questions you've been asking me so...you?

_**Do you prefer the Harry Potter series, Percy Jackson series, or Song of the Lioness Series?**_

Tough one, but I'm going to go with Song of the Lioness.

_**Sorry, my friends never got to ask their questions.**_

It's okay.

_**Ro: bronze, silver, or gold?**_

I actually really like bronze.

_**Lia: Do you know any way to lift a curse if Tefnut got mad at you?**_

I don't really know how you could get Tefnut mad at you in the first place. It's not easy to make her angry.

_**Alanna: Ginger is a grammar freak. Tips for making her less spazzy?**_

I see nothing wrong with her.

...

From _Yuu_.

_**Quoting...**_

_**"Uh...which ritual are you talking about? There's quite a few of them."**_

_**All of it. I want to know ALL of it. *le eye twitch***_

But there are too many! *le cry*

_**So I've heard you watch anime... kolkolkolkol~**_

From time to time.

_**Have you ever tried watching Hetalia? If you haven't, try watching it. The anime's EPIC and you can see Egypt there~ kesesese~ (I think you have seen it, Fish, I looked at your profile and you've written Fan Fiction for it~ I've read one [that fic with Belarus and Lithuania in it...] and it's so... bloody dang awesome!)**_

I tried, but I don't like they way it draws a giant sparkly smiley face on some of the most horrifying and gruesome events in history. Also, Egypt is white in the anime. WTF? But it is funny, I'll admit that.

**Fish: Holy crap my old writing! I was so bad! *cries*.**

Yes. Yes you were.

_**So I hope you had a... wonderful Valentine's day, yesterday, Fish and, uh, Thoth...**_

Fish, can you please tell me why people are saying "goodbye" to you first?

**Fish: Because I'm Fish. That's why.**

...

From _Broadway4eva_.

_**What a surprise! (Not!) Five more questions!**_

Okay, let's get started.

_**1. What kind of paradoxes could the world be made up of?**_

The fact that we destroy ourselves and the world around us to find happiness, our urge to be different that actually makes us all the same, and the bias views between male sexuality and female sexuality in the media are three that I can think of right now.

_**2. Have you ever watched Rizolli and Isles? Really good Law and Order/ER/Fringe show!**_

I have not, but I'll be sure to check it out.

_**3. I've been following the US presidental election this year, and it actually turns out to be very interesting. What is your opinion on each of the four candidates?**_

*Sigh* I guess I have to. Long story short: I don't agree with any of them completely. Some of them I don't even agree with at all. It seems that no matter who wins, it's going to end badly. Unless I run which is very unlikely.

_**4. Technology is updated all the time. What would happen when technology becomes so advanced that there's nothing more we could do with technology?**_

Technology is basically advanced tools and we're always going to find a new way to make things more advanced. For example, paper clips work fine right now, but what if we had paperclips that smelled like cinnamon?

_**5. How come there are still thousands of ancient civilizations in the Amazon?**_

Because some people are still in touch with their roots, but on a very extreme level.

...

**Okay, I have to go now. My girlfriend and I are going to the mall to creep on people and draw their noses. Yay!**


	11. Chapter 11

Let's answer some questions.

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverit_.

_**YESH, CAPS FOR THE WIN! THEY ALLOW YOU TO SHOW EMOTION IN PLACES WHERE THERE IS NO ITALICS OR BOLD OR UNDERLINE!**_

*EVIL LAUGH* CHECK IT OUT, CAPS LOCK _AND_ UNDERLINE! (I CAN'T USE BOLD BECAUSE THE QUESTIONS ARE IN BOLD AND THAT WILL MAKE THINGS CONFUSING.

_**Do you like smiley faces, such as :D and :) and :-)?**_

Well I noticed that Fish uses them in the transcript for this, but I don't use them personally. But they're okay. Aside from ^-^ and ^_^. Those two need to go away.

_**Do you ever OVER write something, like make an essay so long people get lost? :-/**_

Yes, but that's their problem, not mine. It's not my fault they're poor readers.

_**What would you do if someone randomly ran up to you in the street and yelled, "TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW!" and threw a rainbow colored sock at you?**_

I would be very disappointed that they didn't throw a bag of Skittles at me.

_**Can you talk like a gangster?**_

Yea, see? You didn't think I could talk like a hoodlum, see? Heh, looks like we got ourselves a wise-guy. I'll have you know, I have zero tolerance for _infamita_ so watch your back. *tips fedora and smokes cigar*

**Fish: I think you have the wrong decade...**

_**What genres of music do you like (did I already ask this one? Oh well, answer it anyway)?**_

Blues, jazz, classic rock, and classical.

_**Do you know how to knit?**_

Yes, but I don't want to. But I still can.

_**Keep writing!**_

I'll be sure to.

_**~Different**_

_**PS: I just realized that my nickname (Tori) starts with a T like Thoth, and I sometimes sign reviews "~T". xD**_

I'll switch to my Egyptian name if you don't want it to be too confusing.

~D (T)

...

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**Hi. I'm on my mom's computer again. I have to do this quick, since I'm going to the movie theater.**_

Enjoy your movie (unless you aren't going to see a movie and you just like hanging out in movie theaters).

_**Yeah, so...I didn't log in. It would just waste time. And I don't have pink eye. My eyes are not as red as my friend thinks. They're just bloodshot. ENOUGH OF THE TIME WASTING!**_

Don't worry, my eyes are pretty bad too, but it's nothing compared to Fish's.

**Fish: *glares***

_**1) Ahem...Is it easy to learn how to skateboard?**_

I guess if you practice for long periods of time, yes? It's like learning any other sport. You just have to stick with it.

_**2) Is it really necessary to learn how to swim? All you have to do is stay out of the water. And I don't live in a place where you get hurricanes a lot. In fact, the only hurricane I can recall is Hurricane Hazel, which happened, like, 50 years before I was born (not accurate, just guessing).**_

Hurricane Hazel occurred roughly 58 years ago so unless you're 8...

As for swimming itself, unless you're a fish, related to a fish or any other forms of water life, or if you live somewhere where swimming is necessary for survival, I guess it really isn't _that_ important.

_**3)Do you like Disney movies? I had a hatred for them when I was little. The main character always scared me. I have reasons.**_

Which character scared you? There's more than one main character in Disney. Anyway, I love classic, 2D animated Disney movies. I think they had a strong influence on modern animation, film, and storytelling.

_**4) Do you know French? I do. Quite good at it, actually.**_

Oui je sais parler français, but try not to make me say too much. Fish still has to listen to what I'm saying and type it, so if you want me to speak large amounts of a foreign language, German is your best bet.

_**Wow, that's all I got. I have to leave now. BYE! **_

Bye!

...

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**1- wha-? Movie and kareoke night? That's so lame. Which one of the gods made that up? Who even attends that event?**_

1. Yes, it kind of is.

2. Meret made it up. Blame her.

3. I only come for good blackmail material, but Khonsu and Set show up a lot. And they _love_ it. Anubis also comes, but more in a "I don't want to be here. I'm too cool to actually enjoy this" way.

_**2- which gods are you on good terms, which gods are you on ok terms, and which gods are you on bad terms with?**_

1. Ma'at (of course), Seshat, Nut (I'm very good with the ladies, if you haven't noticed), Khonsu, and Nephthys,

2. Hathor, Horus, Osiris, and Anubis.

3. Isis, Bast, Horus, and Set.

_**3- i am NOT Ma'at, you dummy.**_

Then who are you and why were you flirting with me in the last chapter?

_**4- Hsjdoj jejjd jedu dododpfnrvswysgddihd heudjehdhf dhdjdjdb jshdhdhidjd fryus?**_

Drugs...?

_**5 - what do you think of my username for this thingy?**_

Well it, heh, certainly fits.

...

From _FemaleEliteWriter-Reader1_.

_**Hi. It's me with more questions.**_

Yay!

_**1. Um, what do you do when you're not answering questions with Fish?**_

Psychology tutoring, video games, drinking. All of these are done with Fish. I hardly get any alone time.

**Fish: :D**.

_**2. Where do you work?**_

University.

_**3. Throughout some of the previous questions that you have answered, you have implyed that you're weak. But you're a god. There's no way you are weak.**_

Well, I'm very strong when it comes to magic or intellect, but if you want me to arm wrestle I will fail miserably. I've never been very strong physically, you see.

_**4. Has Anubis ever met his father(aka, Set)?**_

Actually, Osiris is Anubis' biological father, but he met Set. It was very awkward.

_**5. Are you Ra's son? How is he doing by the way?**_

Well I'm Ra's son, Set's son, and my own son. Yes, I gave birth to myself. Just picture that.

Yes, Ra is fine. He can now use the bathroom by himself and we're so proud.

_**6. Have you ever lied ,killed, or done something extremely bad in your entire life?**_

My wife is the goddess of truth, so I can't get away with lying, but I can't say I never did anything bad in the thousands of years that I've been in existence.

_**7. What are the pros and cons of the internet?**_

Pros: You can get new information and meeting new people.

Cons: You can get new information and meeting new people. Oh, and Rule 34.

_**8. Pros and cons of the gods?**_

Pros: We're powerful, mortals can stop us if we get out of hand, we invented furries.

Cons: We're often full of ourselves, we can get out of hand, we wear skirts, and we invented furries.

_**9. Pros and cons of YOU? (sorry, Thoth. Just had the urge to ask that.)**_

Pros: I'm smart, handsome, great at Skyrim, I'm good at using magic, I'm honest, I have a cool coat.

Cons: I'm a pale guy currently living in one of the hottest states in the country, I'm not physically strong and I'm a little too skinny, I have anxiety problems, and I'm easily distracted.

_**Thanks, Fish,**_

_**And weird-knowledge god!**_

**Fish: Bye!**

See ya'.

...

From _Broadway4eva_.

_**I'm gonna be special and ask four questions now.**_

Yay for special!

_**1. What would happen if you did run for president and won?**_

Well I can't because my current human form (not host) is 25-years-old. So I can drink, join the army, and rent a car, but I can't run for president. But if I did win, here's a list of things I would ban:

People who make grammar errors.

People wearing their hat backwards.

Women who shave off their eyebrows then they just draw them on.

Plastic-like cheese.

And every website will have a spell-check system.

_**2. Who invented bubble gum?**_

Even though chewing gum existed before this, bubble gum was invented in 1928 by Walter Diemer.

_**3. If Cookies=Carter and Weasels=Walt, what would Weasel Cookies mean?**_

Ra is a yaoi fan.

I'm just kidding. I think he's just off his meds again.

_**4. How do you compile a video that just has audio on Windows MovieMaker?**_

It's possible, but if you want to make a quality audio file, I recommend using Audacity. It's a free program and it's very good for mixing and recording sound files.

...

From _Yuu_.

_**No~ explain it all to me! Okay, I'll be lenient and be more specfic. *le rolls eyes* Now explain your role when some dead person weighs their heart w/ the feather of truth.**_

So my wife kind of becomes a scale, her feather is placed on one end and I place the heart on the other. If the heart is heavier, then Ammut eats it, and if they both weigh the same then the person goes on to eternal paradise. I check to make sure the weight is accurate.

_**And no Fish, it's not bad. It's awesome.**_

**Fish: Eh...I even forgot what I was going to do with that fanfiction (this is why you plan all of your stories ahead of time).**

_**Hurr... so tell Ma'at that I love her headdress... you know, the one seen in the wall paintings.**_

The Feather of Truth? Yeah, it's very cool.

...

From _gingerroot15_.

_**Hm. My brother is more random than me, and more prone to being violent if provoked. But if you're nice to him, he's generally nice to you. Based on that information, whom would you rather meet in person?**_

I don't like to associate with people who are prone to violence, so you.

_**Alanna: BUT SHE'LL GO BACK AND DELETE AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH OF MINE IF IT HAS GRAMMAR MISTAKES! WHAT DO I DO?**_

Don't give her access to your writing or print it out and give her a red pen if you want her to do it right.

...

From _Cybernetic Author unit_ _5_.

_**Call of Duty or Halo? (It BETTER be Halo or so help me, I will go Master Cheif on your divine *** so hard that {content censored}**_

I was going to say Halo anyway.

_**Have you ever heard of rooster teeth?**_

Yes. Red vs. Blue is awesome.

_**By guest star, I mean I could pop up and stay stuff in a chapter, like fish does, please? *gives giant animie eyes of adorableness***_

I'm not really sure how you would do that since we don't live in the same area...

**Fish: Going to kidnap **_**Cybernetic**_**. Brb.**

Sit back down. No you're not.

_**I hard surgery two days ago, or maybe longer, the stuff they gave me made me lose track, anyway, have gods ever needed surgery? (I mean, Osiris was cut up and needed to be stitched back together, so you guys can be hurt)**_

We can just regenerate our organs, but Osiris was a different case.

_**what minority group do you hate above all things? (furries, bronies, Canadians, gingers, etc.)**_

Well I have nothing against furries. Like most fetishes or philias, if it isn't harming anyone (without consent) I don't see the issue. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of My Little Pony, I don't mind if people are fans of it. People don't care if women watch Transformers, so I don't see the problem with men watching My Little Pony. I have nothing against Canadians. In fact, some of the smartest people I know are from Canada. I don't like the phrase "ginger". A person can't control the hair colour they're born with. But which group do I hate? I hate stupid furries. I hate stupid bronies. I hate stupid Canadians and I hate stupid gingers. It has nothing to do with the group they identify themselves with, just the fact that they're stupid. So to answer your question, I hate people who are stupid.

_**What is your greatest fear?**_

Being eaten alive or the cold.

_**What about you worst nightmare? the kind where ANYTHING can happen and the laws of physics need not apply?**_

You just said it: A world where physics don't apply. I live for the natural balance of the universe, and I don't want that to be thrown off.

...


	12. Chapter 12

Yay. More questions.

From _TricksterPrincess_.

_**How are you Thoth? Just a question, maybe that's already part anyway, but still I have a lot more questions to get over with. Thanks for the heat thing, I had a quiz on that and got a B+. and by shuffle I mean everyday I'm shufflin, so give me another explanation.**_

I'm doing quite well, thank you. I'm glad I could help you with your heat transfer quiz and as for shuffling…trust me, I am not the person to go to for dancing advice. You know how people say "I have two left feet"? Well I have two arthritic left feet.

_**1. What's your favorite color?**_

Mostly neutral colours like brown, grey, or green.

_**2. What's your favorite game? Mine is The Game, but I just lost it.**_

My favourite game is the Hipster Game. But you probably haven't heard of it.

_**3. Muffins or cupcakes?**_

One has frosting, the other does not.

_**4. Greeks or Romans?**_

I don't think it's fair to favour one culture over the other, but if I had to chose I would chose Greeks. Mostly because they had more philosophers and mathematicians.

_**5. I've been reading through chapters. And I have another question, that's all you have to say about the greatest series in the universe which is Harry Potter?**_

Harry Potter is a great series and I highly recommend it to everyone of all ages, but it is not the best series in the universe. What is the greatest series in the universe you ask? The answer is: I don't have the place to say that. So don't get me wrong; I love Harry Potter, but it's been a while since I've read the series. And Set spoiled the entire series for me before I finished.

_**6. Have you ever read the Hunger Games?**_

Yes I have.

_**7. If so, Team Peeta or Team Gale?**_

Neither. I think Katniss should live independently. Or get with that Foxface girl. Oh wait, she's dead.

_**8. Who will Sadie choose, Walt or Anubis? I'm leaning towards Sadie staying single and meeting Nico Di Angelo in the near future.**_

Well I think she's too young to date anyone so…no one?

_**9. If two demigods have a kid, would their kid be a demigod?**_

Most demigods don't grow old enough to have children, but when they do the children don't have enough of the god's blood to use magic or to be noticed by monsters. They're basically humans.

_**10. Have you ever heard of A Very Potter Musical, if so, what is your favorite song?**_

I haven't seen the entire thing. But I like the song between Voldemort and Quirrell.

_**11. Eleven?**_

One hundred and twenty one.

_**12. What comes after E in my name?**_

An "R" and an "S"?

_**That's I for today. I have something for you again... It's a drowning man!**_

lloll Save him Thoth!

Sorry, I don't swim.

…

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hi!**_

LUCKY! YOU GET FORMATTING! HMPH!

_YAY! I AM SO AWESOME!_

_**Muahaha. I wrote an essay for my English class, and I think some of my class died of boredom. I liked the essay though. Xd**_

Well keeping the audience engaged is very important. But school essays are hardly ever thrilling.

_**Oh, and I will vote for you for president. ;P**_

My mortal self is too young.__

Question time!

_**Do you enjoy sticky notes? What about paper? Pens or pencils? Do you think this would be a good way to run a history class's current events: The students research the news the night before, and then discuss it in class, instead of writing a summary of only one article? How do you feel about animal poachers/fur? Are you a superstitious person? Do you enjoy sparkly things? Would you consider yourself a "techie"? Do you like penguins? Hot or cold (weather)?**_

Sticky notes are fun. Paper is very important to me. I prefer pencils because I also make mistakes. It sounds like a good idea, but some news stations can be rather biased and the news doesn't always cover important things. I have nothing against fur. I'm not superstitious; I'm a skeptic. I'm not a fan of sparkles. Yes, I would consider myself a "Techie" sometimes. Penguins are…nice. I like hot weather more.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_

_**Fish is coming to kidnap me? :0 *hides in corner with baseball bat***_

Don't worry. I gave her spinach pies so she isn't going anywhere.

**Fish: My precious…**

_**How do you feel about being the son of Horus and Set?**_

It's a little weird, but _how_ I was born is even weirder.

_**I just thought of this, you just BROWSE the WHOLE INTERNET using only your name as a keyword? ARE YOU INSANE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND?**_

Yes. There's porn of me, I know. I'm not completely naive to the internet.

_**What was Ra like before he turned into a vegetable?**_

A very wise ruler. I know it's hard to imagine now, but he was.

_**If you had only five more days to live, what would you do?**_

Gamble with Khonsu and get five more days. *troll face*

_**Do you have a 'dark side'? If so, can we see it?**_

I've been switching in and out of it throughout this thing.

_**Is there any one person you hate for no apparent or a really petty reason?**_

Bella Swan from Twilight. I know she isn't real, but I hate her.

…

From _gingerroot15_

_**Alanna: ... we share a computer. I can't really do that... she'll see it anyway...**_

Either a). create your own folder for your work and password protect it, or b). tell her that even though you appreciate her efforts to correct your work, erasing all of your writing will not help you grow as an author. Tell her that you are willing to go to her for constructive editing, though.

_**Ginger: Hm. Fables or poems?**_

Honestly, it really depends on which fable or poem. But in general, I'm going with fables.

_**Do you prefer Italian food or Chinese?**_

Let's see…Chinese food is easier to store, but Italian food goes better with wine…Chinese.

…

From _Elinor Nightshade_

_**Lord Thoth,**_

1. Star trek or Star Wars?

_That _is a cruel question. Uh…Star…Fish! Help me out!

**Fish: ****Star Fox****!**

No. Uh…Star Wars, but take away episodes I-III.

_**2. I Wrote an essay on Egyptian stories.**_

Awesome!

_**Talk to you later!**_

E.

See you later.

T.

…

From _Lia MarieDaughter of Hecate_

_**Hey I havn't been on here in a while...**_

_**Anywhoo, Are the people of Green Day (best band on earth BTW) magicians too? Also have you ever watcged one of there concerts? Billy Joe walks around like a druggie (even though he probably is)**_

As I said, all musicians or other artists are magicians, but more in an abstract sense of the term. You won't see Billy Joe fighting monsters any time soon. Sorry.

_**I chew ice, its an awful habit and my mom keeps warning me but I just wanted to know, what causes the craving for ice? And I will probably keep chewing it, im sorta addicted...**_

Chewing on ice can cause the teeth to crack if you do it too much. Anyway, some people say ice has some pain or stress relief, but others say it's a form of pica.

_**I plan on trying out for 'The Voice' or 'American Idol' when im fifteen/sixteen, and just wanted to ask, any advice? My mom and friends think im good but its not like they're gonna say I suck, so any ideas on how to get better?**_

Take some singing or voice lessons first, breathe through your diaphragm, if you have a piano, you can play a key on the piano and try to match the note with your voice. Also, be accepting of critics.

…

From _Yuu_

_**So your wife becomes a scale? Then the dog, Ammut, eats le heart if it's, like, heavy? What if the feather is heavier? (OMG WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS)**_

Yeah, it's a little trippy. But the feather is never heavier. Because my wife is perfect. That is all.

_**I mean that's, like, totally cool except for the eating the heart thing which is, like, totally creepy.**_

Have you ever eaten a heart? Yeah, they're pretty revolting but I'm sure if I were a part crocodile, part lion, part hippo being I would see things differently.

_**ANYWAY I, LIKE, TOTALLY LOVE ALL CAPS! 8D**_

But my computer teacher at school says that it's, like, totally impolite... butwhateverit'sfunanyway.

Yeah, it can seem aggressive, so refrain from using it in formal situations.

_**til next chapter, Fish and Thoth~**_

Bye.

**Fish: Bye, Yuu!**

…

From _my pretty kitty7_

_**Lord Thoth: did you know that when i first saw the abbreviation FTW i thought it meant **** the world i think something is wrong with my mind (bonus points if you can guess what the **** meant you don't have to say it)**_

Don't worry. Since it's pretty much WTF backwards, so I can see how it can be taken out of context. And I do know what you mean by ****.

_**does it annoy you when this is a Q and A thingamabob and people just tell you random stuff?**_

Well I don't mind answering questions, but Fish has to type what I say and I'm a fast talker.

**Fish: He really is.**

_**do you think that it is possible for someone to host a greek god?**_

The Greek gods aren't anchored to the _duat_ or something of that nature, so they don't really need a host. Egyptian gods need human hosts (or just human forms like me) to keep them in the mortal world.

_**have you ever heard of the greek goddess Nyx?**_

Yes I do. She has really nice…personality.

…

From _Broadway4eva_

_**But the president can't just ban stuff. That's a bill of attainder! By law, not allowed!**_

I know. I was kidding around because I'm not running for president.

_**Who invented chewing gum?**_

The first traces of chewing gum have been traced back to at least 5,000 years ago.

_**What is yaoi?**_

Yaoi is a subgenre of anime or manga that contains heavy homoerotic themes. The lesbian version is called "yuri" which Fish has way too much of on her computer…

**Fish: Why the cheese puffs are you going through my computer?**

_**If somebody made an ant-sized, working car, would the car be able to be operated by said ant?**_

If it was designed simply enough, I suppose it could warm up to it eventually.

_**Can wind chimes stop chiming when it's windy? **_

If you take them down, yes.

…

From _Nico's-Girlfriend-Cassy_

_**Hello…**_

Hey.

_**Are there any Egyptian demigods, I'm curious?**_

No. Not that I know of.

_**Do you agree that most war gods need anger management classes?**_

Some of them do, but it's in their nature.

_**Do you have any tricks for getting rid of stage fright? I have it and it drives me nuts?**_

Practice first, remember that no one is going to mock you while you're on stage (unless they're jerks), and remember to project your voice.

_**I can't wait for the next chapter.**_

Well you don't have to wait any longer because it's here.

…

From _hopecahill39_.

_**Dear Lord Thoth, Master of knowledge, and ruler of baboons,**_

Lord Thoth is fine.

_**Me have questions!**_

*eye twitches*

_**1)If Ma'at wasn't Ma'at and you didn't marry her... whom would you marry?**_

I think I would just stay single. I don't really _need_ a spouse.

_**2) If I came, found you, stole you from Fish (sorry), gave you a Mountain Dew and took you to my house to do the same thing as you're doing right now... What'd you do?**_

I'd leave unless you're paying rent and if you're 18 or older (just so it isn't creepy).

_**That's all for now!**_

Your dedicated fan,

hopecahill39

See you later,

Thoth.

…

From _FemaleWriter-Reader_.

_**Yeah, so these are my questions... ANSWER them thoroughly, please.**_

I'll try to.

_**1. What university do you work in, though?**_

University of Memphis. Don't bother looking for me, though.

_**happened when Annie met Set?**_

Since all of the gods know each other, it wasn't anything special; just a casual meeting. Sorry to disappoint you.

_**3. What was the worst thing that has ever happened to you?**_

I mentioned that I was present during the French Revolution briefly in a previous chapter. I wrote some news articles that criticized some of the acts during the revolution and how it was spiraling the society into chaos. But during the time, anyone who acted against the revolution was put to death. So you can see how this one ended.

_**4. Do you think that this world is messed up? If so, why? **_

I don't think the world is messed up. No, the world is fine. The people are nuts, though. I think I said something like this in an earlier chapter, but the way we force ourselves into little groups without bothering to learn about each other is very unhealthy. Also, people with a biased or close-minded viewpoint on life is harmful to the human race in general especially if those people have some sort of social or political power.

_**5. Why are gym teachers so evil?**_

You can ask that about any teacher and the answer will still be pretty much the same: because they are making you do things that are outside your academic comfort zone.

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**Hey, I hope you are having a good day... And i'm talking to Fish, not the god.**_

Why does everyone care more about Fish?

_**1. I AM NOT Ma'at. I only did that to provoke you!**_

Actually, I was more confused than provoked, but okay.

_**2. I was speakin' gibberish, dummy. Hdududjdidi jsidiis ueudi jshid frius?**_

Eh…I'm sticking with my drug theory.

_**3. You know that I made cookies with my mom. The cookies were shaped like letters and I took the letters T H O T H and I ate them so I ate your name. Hahaha**_

Why did you make two "T" cookies and two "H" cookies?

_**4. Don't judge me or be jealous of me cause i'm crazy and I know it. 'sticks out tongue'**_

I'm not jealous. Just deeply confused.

_**5. Tell Apophis that he rocks and will he marry me. Thanks**_

Wow. You weren't kidding about your username.

_**Bye! It's Crazy AND YOU KNOW IT 'moves arms like a monkey'**_

Bye…

…

From _Princess Celeste_.

_**1. Why is Set weird?**_

**Fish: Because he's a ginger.**

That has nothing to do with it! We can look into the nature vs. nurture argument with this. Set isn't really a bad guy, but his eccentric behavior could be a product of thinking he has to follow through with his godly duties as the god of chaos.

_**2. Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce?**_

Well I'm getting a little sick of Beyonce's omg-I'm-so-mad-at-this-guy songs, so I'm going with Jennifer.

_**3. Nikki Minaj or Lady Gaga?**_

Lady Gaga. She's way more talented than Nikki Minaj.

_**4. What do you like about Sadie?**_

She has "spunk" and she uses hieroglyphic magic.

_**5. Is Khonsu insane?**_

Surprisingly no, but he has his moments.

_**6. Do you play badminton? **_

Occasionally.

_**7. Have you read "Number The Stars"?**_

Yes. It's a brilliant book along with The Giver.

_**8. What is Set's favorite song?**_

_Sugar_ by System of a Down, last time I checked.

_**9. Tell me one time where Set and Khonsu walk into a room and sing "I'm Sexy And I Know It"?**_

Well the gods were having this meeting then Set and Khonsu walked (or strutted) into the room and began singing.

_**10. Do you like Sanubis or Zarter? ( I'm a big fan of Sanubis, so you better not diss it like all the other times)**_

I like neither. Sorry.

_**11. What do you think of my fanfiction stories?**_

I like them even though I'm not a fan of romance in fiction.

…

From _SammyCasey4ever99_.

_**Fish, I have a suggestion. Can you make an ask Hathor (the love goddess of Eygpt)? As for my question for Thoth. I have many questions so be prepared.**_

**Fish: Uh…meet me in the Author's notes for this question, because I don't want to break character for too long.**

_**HI THOTH!**_

1) How do you feel about bitch-y people?

They can be annoying, but it's important to know why they are this way. Most likely, they just want attention.

_**2) Do you think that it would be possible if a dog/jackel had a baby with a human?**_

No. the two species are far too different to cross-breed.

_**3) How long does it take for a flower to bloom?**_

It really depends on the type of flower, the amount of sunlight, and other circumstances.

_**4) What's your oppoion(?) on improper facts on any type entertainment?**_

*Opinion. I'm guessing the question mark meant you wanted a spelling correction.

For me, it really depends on the source of entertainment. For example, no one is seriously complaining about Spongebob portraying sea sponges as being square because no one goes to shows like that for facts. But if a show that claimed to be scientifically correct got a large number of their facts wrong, that's when it becomes a problem.

_**5) Do you think that the world will end this year?**_

No.

_**6) Are good at giving romance advice or is that for Hathor?**_

I'm really not and I have no idea where Hathor is so…you can talk to Fish…

_**7) How do you feel about being godnapped by Fish? Fish I have nothing against you for godnapping a god, but why did you do it?**_

At first I didn't like it, but I guess it's okay.

**Fish: Thoth is my second favourite god, so that's why.**

_Second_ favourite?

**Fish: Khonsu wins.**

_**8)Do you feel that today's economy is strange? Then again you are a god, so everything must feel weird for you.**_

Well at least it's not a gold-based economy which is just stupid.

_**Thats all, Goodbye!**_

Bye.

…

From _Laylaenchantix101_.

_**YES! Finally made it to Ch. 11! Now to ask questions**_

1) Have you ever heard of Black Veil Brides? If not, go look them up.

Very interesting uh…it doesn't seem like anything I'd listen to.

_**2) Remember said that you had a problem with a god named Kali at a bar? What happened?**_

So I was at this bar that is mostly visited by gods and I saw this blue-skinned women and I thought she was Nut. Now, I'm not a racist and I'm not saying that all blue women look alike but her back was turned and…yeah. So I started hitting on her (as a joke, don't worry), but then it turned out it was Kali and she smacked me with all four of her hands. How did I not notice those?

_**4) Do you know why some people call Apophis Apophis and others call him Apep?**_

Apep is the Egyptian name while Apophis is the Greek name.

_**5) Have you ever seen Tutenstien? It's a cartoon...**_

Yes I have. I appear in an episode and…the cartoon version of me has a nicer body than I actually do! *cries*

_**6) What's your favorite type of cake?**_

German chocolate with coconut.

_**7 CAPS FOR THE WIN, BABY! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! -randomly comes in riding a jungle vine-**_

Why is there a jungle vine in Arizona…indoors?

_**8) Do gods get diseases, like cancer or hyperthermia?**_

It's kind of hard to explain. While we don't get internal diseases or diseases spread through genetics, we occasionally get colds or the flu so…hope that answers your question.

_**9) Do you know why some people in Ancient Egypt have strange...traditions they do? I read a couple months ago that women in Egypt used to put scented animal fat in their hair...O_O**_

Well if you're living in a desert and there is no air conditioning or deodorant yet, using scented animal fat is a pretty good idea because it melts as the day gets hotter. But really? _That's _strange to you? Trust me, that's the tame stuff.

_**10) Make Set watch Care Bears. Then tell me the story.**_

He began yelling at the screen and eventually destroyed the TV. Totally worth it, though.

_**11) Remember the man that said "The Care Bears will show the way?" or something like that? YOU GET TO SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY WITH HIM! -poofs up the man and shoves him into Thoth-**_

Uh…Fish, I have a friend for you.

**Fish: Don't you dare.**

_**Bye!**_

Bye!

…

**About the "Ask Hathor" thing. I'm sorry, but I chose Thoth because during the eight years of my life when I was absolutely obsessed with ancient Egypt, Thoth was always my favourite god so I studied him more. I never really paid much attention to Hathor and it's hard enough running one of these "ask" stories with college, work, and personal projects to deal with. So sorry, but I'm going to have to say no.**


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, Fish says her computer may crash any minute so let's get these done quickly.

From _Lia MarieDaughter of Hecate_.

_**Dear Lord Tooth.**_

_**O.M.G. Do you watch Smash?**_

No. I can't say I've ever watched Smash.

_**If so, are you caught up? BECAUSE IVY IS STILL FLIPPIN' SLEEPING WITH DEREK! He should totally be with Karen... Plus Tom should really be not gay and he should be having an affair with Julia, I mean come on, they kissed!**_

Uh…I have no idea what you are saying…poodles.

_**Thats enough out of my shipper side, have you read 'The Mortal Instruments'  
>andor 'The Infernal Devices'? Good books man...**_

Yes. I believe Cassandra Clare is a very talented author.

_**If I was a Egyptian demigoddess, who's daughter would I be? I'm thinking the  
>moon god cuz my name means moon...<strong>_

Well Khonsu did "adopt" a kid and he named it "Khonsu the Second", but the kid's parents made him give it back.

_**Wow I really like putting periods at the ends of my sentences...**_

Those are actually ellipsis but I guess so.

_**Peace, love, pie, don't die..**_

_**~Jace~**_

I'll be sure not to…but you may want to give that advice to Fish's computer.

…

From _my pretty kitty7_.

_**King Thoth: do yu like the name King Thoth?**_

Well I'm not a king so…not really.

_**Can i ask what you IQ number is?**_

Sure.

**Fish: I think she wants to know what it is.**

Oh. 144.

_**Are there any illnesses that only gods can get?**_

Well there's disappearing from existence if that counts as a disease. And super herpes. You don't want to hear about that.

**Fish: Now you're just making stuff up.**

_**Do you think that it is possible for someone to have Bi Poler, Autisum, OCD  
>and depression which are all mental illnesses at once?<strong>_

Well OCD can be formed from other disorders. Many people with autism also have some type of OCD and one of the side effects of OCD is depression as well as in bipolar disorder, so there are some overlaps.

_**Do you like iceing?**_

Of course!

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**Yay! I got some more questions for you-know-who!**_

I'm ecstatic.

_**1- You IDIOT, I'm not taking drugs! But I can get really HIGH if you want me  
>too. Do you?<strong>_

I doubt the world can handle it.

_**2- I made two "t" letters & two "h" letters so I could spell your freakin'  
>cursed greek name!<strong>_

But my Greek name isn't cursed…it's just Greek.

_**3- TELL APOPHIS THAT I LOVE HIM AND HE HAS TO PROPOSE TO ME. NOW. 'sends in  
>two really buff guys that can kill Thoth's mortal form anytime'<strong>_

*Makes the buff guys go home with my incredible charm*

_**4. What would you do if Ma'at dumped you(I wouldn't be surprised if she does,  
>cause ur a loser) and went out with some guy that's not nerdy (like you) and<br>he was SO MUCH hotter than you(which I doubt you are hot even though I haven't  
>really seen you)? If I saw that happen, I would LOL and make fun of you for<br>the rest of the year.**_

It is true that I may not be the strongest man around, but one day I will be stronger. And you will still be insane. Also, considering that you are into a 200 foot long demon snake, I don't think you're the one who should determine what makes a man attractive. Also, Ma'at and I are very much in love, thank you very much. Plus, even if we _did_ break up, the order of the universe would kind of…die.

_**5. What do you think of trolls(not trolls like monsters but the way troll is  
>defined on the internet)?<strong>_

They're sort of fascinating in a way. It's amazing what you can do while being anonymous behind a keyboard.

_**6. Taylor Swift, Amy Lee, or Nicki Minaj? I love em' all but I want to know  
>what the god of wisdom thinks.<strong>_

Taylor Swift is okay, Amy Lee is very talented but her style can annoy me, and Nicki Minaj scares me a bit. So Amy Lee.

_**7. Once again, you BETTER tell Apophis that he needs to propose to me (NOW) or  
>you will face the wrath of CRAZINESS.<strong>_

I think I'm facing that right now.

_**8. ladilala ladilala ladilala Thoth sucks ladilala ladila ladilala Thoth  
>freakin' sucks!<strong>_

You have the voice of an angel.

_**Thank you for answering/typing all my CRAZY questionz! Till' next time 'gets  
>in rocket ship and blasts off to the CRAZY planet'<strong>_

*Waves handkerchief*

…

From _gingerroot15_.

Hm. Interesting response.

_**Well, I saw question 9 from TricksterPrincess, and I'm afraid I'm going to  
>have to disagree. Because, if a demigod is half human, half god, then the<br>child of two demigods would be (let's say the parents were a daughter of  
>Athena and a son of Poseidon) a quarter human, a quarter Athena, another<br>quarter human, and a quarter Poseidon. Since Poseidon and Athena are both  
>gods, technically, they're still demigods, just of mixed heritage.<strong>_

**Fish (Out of character): Actually, the response I gave was almost directly quoted from Rick Riordan. Someone asked him that exact question in an interview and since the version of Thoth I'm using in this fanfic is technically his creation, that's the response I went with.**

_**Aaaaaanyway. Have you heard of the Edmund Fitzgerald?**_

Yes. Shipwrecks are never fun. Unless the boat has Bella Swan on it. Then it's hilarious and absolutely necessary.

_**What's your favorite song?**_

Minnie the Moocher by Cab Calloway.

_**What's your mortal host's name?**_

I don't have a host. This is just a form that I use in the mortal world. I looked very similar to this back in ancient Egypt only, you know, now while and blonde.

_**Favorite color?**_

Earthy tones.

…

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hi.**_

_**Yes, I agree, school essays are not all that interesting. :S And the audience  
>won't ever listen. -_- Yeesh.<strong>_

I love how you refer to your classmates as an audience. Sometimes it seems like that.

_**Anyway.**_

_**Sorry if there's not so many questions today, but I'm kinda tired, and my  
>hands hurt a little.<strong>_

You know, if your hands hurt that much you don't have to push yourself to do this.

_**Have you read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini?**_

Yes. The movie was also really good. This is one of the few times where I can actually say that.

_**I stayed up until 2AM last night to finish it... Have you ever stayed up all night to read a book?**_

Well if I say yes, that indicates that I actually sleep. Which I don't. I earned these dark circles.

_**Do you enjoy reading?**_

Of course I do.

_**What's your favorite book mark?**_

I'll use anything that's thin and paper-like. But no folding the upper corner. Whenever anyone does that with one of my books, I smack them on the top of the head with it. It's not nice to the books. Same thing when you hold a paperback book and you bend it back a lot. Don't do that.

_**Do you stay up late more, or wake up early more?**_

Both. I stay up late, realize it's five in the morning, grab a Mountain Dew or a coffee, then get back to work.

_**Is there a panda bear stalking you?**_

No. What kind of stupid question is that? *turns around just to make sure*.

_**Oh, what do you say to: "Rainbow aardvark toaster"?**_

Plaid anteater waffle iron.

_**Bye! Hope to hear from you soon!**_

_**~Different**_

See ya'.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**You're back!**_

Yes. Fish's computer is having major issues.

_**Anyway, Ninjas or pirates?**_

Personally, I like plague doctors but I'm going to have to go with ninjas. They use more strategy.

_**Is Set the cause of Twilights' popularity?**_

Even Set hates Twilight.

_**What is you're opinion on the constant remastering of star wars?**_

Personally, George Lucas can do whatever he wants with his movies. But I doubt I'm going to see the new versions.

_**Muffins can be made of corn or have berries or nuts, cupcakes are either vanilla or chocolate, or a combination of the two, so there**_

Well cupcakes usually have frosting so I like them more.

…

From _GoldenStar_.

_**GoldenStar:Oh Lord Thoth! Please grace me with some of your wisdom!**_

I'll be sure to *incredibly creepy wink*.

_**1. Since you are 'professer' at college, do you have classes and students?**_

Of course I do, but they don't know about my godly awesomeness.

_**2. Since you met other gods, have you come across any Norse gods? I hear that Norse gods you do not want to mess with, being viking gods and all, cuse I also heard that they are scarier and tougher then the Roman gods. Is that true?**_

You know how many of the Greek gods are like frat boys with power and many of the Egyptian gods are kind of like the dangerous drunken father with power? Well Norse gods are kind of like the combination of the two. But I do get along with Loki. He's not a bad guy, he just needs to think things through. And he gave birth to a horse. Poor guy.

_**3. Do you have to sail with Ra now since he's back, because it's said you would map out the course for every nightly journey?**_

Eh…he'll be fine.

**Fish: Why is the sun…spinning?**

Whoops.

_**4. Why don't we see Ma'at in the books?**_

Because Ma'at is also considered to be a principle rather than an actual goddess. She's both, but I guess the books wanted to focus on that side of her.

*4th wall shatters violently*

_**5. How come the spirits (or gods, I don't know what they were called then) of the North Americans haven't been mention or appeared yet? I mean, you guys and the Greek/Romans are invading their home?**_

We run into each other sometimes, but there isn't too much conflict based on that. Greek gods follow the main point of western civilization and Egyptian gods…go wherever the hell they want but most of us chose the states. Why? No idea.

…

From _Laylaenchantix_

_**Hello! I'm back again!**_

_**1) Did you notice that you skipped Question 3 on my last review? -_-**_

Fish's computer completely broke down, so she had to write the last chapter with this dinky little netbook that was barely five inches wide. So there were probably some issues with the copy-paste and the resolution of the screen, but I'll answer it now.

(Flashback!)

_**3) What is your opinion on people who are low-lifed, arrogant, stupid people *cough cough people at my school and Horus and Set cough cough***_

Well I think they're low-life, arrogant, stupid people. But they have hearts of gold we can bring out in heartwarming movies! I'm kidding.

_**2) I don't know why there are jungle vines in Arizona...indoors. Why does cancer exist? Those are all questions we want to know.**_

Well I guess there's a jungle vine indoors in the middle of a desert because you wanted it to be there. And cancer exists when cancerous cells continue to duplicate inside the body.

_**3) Do you believe in fairies? You better say yes...**_

*Claps hands* I do believe in fairies! I do I do!

**Fish: Yay! You brought Tinkerbell back from the dead!**

Hell yeah!

_**4) You should have recorded Set yelling and destroying the T.V. That would've  
>had over hits!<strong>_

I regret not having a video camera on hand. That would be gold.

_**5) What's 125428542 x 67 divided by 2?**_

4,201,856,157.

_**6) In America, most traditions Egypt used to do ARE strange. Dude, I would puke if I put sented animal fat in my hair...AND THAT'S THE TAME STUFF?**_

Yes. Many women tattooed Bes on their thighs.

Women would go streaking during the festival of Bast.

And then there's the bestiality, the necrophilia, and the unedited story of Set and Horus.

_**7)Do you think Horus would have the same reaction if you made him watch Care Bears? O_O**_

More or less. Probably.

_**8) In responce to your answer to the Tutenstien question...really? You have the head of an animal, and weighing a mummy boys heart, and your worried about that your cartoon version has a better body? What the heck -_-**_

I was never really shocked by the heart-weighing-thing. But the Tutenstien thing did weird me out because it's interesting to see what others think of you. Imagine people were going to make a movie based on you, but they portrayed you as a 200-feet-tall polka dancer crashing through cities. It would be a bit strange, no?

_**9) How was your day with Care Bears Man? (That's what I'm calling him now...)**_

It was…interesting to say the least.

_**10) What's your favorite candy?**_

Uh…Snickers.

_**11) Ever read the 39 Clues?**_

Some of the books.

_**Well, so long! Keep writing, you two!**_

Okay. See you.

…

From _Broadway4eva_.

_**Hi again! I spent a week in Jamaica, Haiti, and on a cruise!**_

Well I hope you had a lovely time.

_**Would you ever consider running for president, if your host was old enough and  
>a natural US citizen?<strong>_

No. Too much pressure and I don't want to be the punchline of political jokes.

_**Why were you looking through Fish's computer?**_

I was bored, she was at college, and I saw _things_, Broadway. Things you can't scrape out of your head!

**Fish: My plague doctor yuri fanfiction.**

It was horrible!

_**I saw an obleisk while on vacation! Could it possibly be real, because it looked like a replica.**_

Well, it's a real replica. Like the one in Washington. It could still be used for magic if it's big enough (or you're small enough).

_**Do head staples hurt?**_

No. They feel like getting hugged by clouds and butterflies.

…

From _FemaleEliteWriterReade_r.

_**Bonjour. I hope that the both of you are doing fine!**_

I'm not unwell, thank you very much.

_**1. Yaoi or Yuri? I prefer Yuri but don't judge me.**_

Yuri.

**Fish: High five, man.**

_**2. What is your opinion on Harvard, Yale, and Princeton Universities?**_

I believe that they are very good schools and they all excel in their designated areas of interest.

_**3. Why is it that New York City is SO horrible yet so wonderful?**_

It depends where you are. Some places are horrible, but some places are wonderful.

_**4. Do you have a product made from Apple?**_

I identify myself as a PC person, but I have an iPod.

_**5. Do you use sharpies?**_

Few things make me happier that a giant bin filled with different colored sharpies.

_**6. What do you think Set is doing right now?**_

Probably just hanging. At least, I hope so.

_**7. Acoustic or electric guitar? Why?**_

Electric. I don't know, something about the guy-playing-solo-on-the-acoustic-guitar genre kind of irritates me.

_**8. Do you have a collection of something?**_

Books, sharpies, pens.

_**9. Have you ever been stalked? If so, by who?**_

Well Fish had to find me somehow.

_**10. Do you know that I'm actually looking around my room while typing these questions? I do that because it just helps me think of some random questions to ask you.**_

Well I didn't know because I couldn't really see you.

_**11. yayz! im using txt tak agan! don u luv it wen sum1 u ses txt tak? I no u du! hav a haribul dai**_

Why do you want me to have a day filled with hairballs?

_**Bye**_

Bye.

…

From _Wynter Hexa_.

_**Hi.**_

_**... So I've got questions and a lot of space to type them!**_

Yay! And for the first time in a week, so does Fish.

_**1. I heard you liked vampires, so do you like empousai? Ah, I remember they are part ghost, metal, and animal and come in only female. o.O**_

They're cool, but I like Krasue more.

_**2. How do you think people will cope with Leap Days in several million years?**_

The same way we treat them now.

_**3. Have you ever had Mountain Dew (or any soda) after chewing gum? Don't try it.**_

I know, it's awful!

_**4. On a similiar note, what led you to the wonderful substance known as Mountain Dew?**_

The grocery store I go to was selling each of their sodas for half off, so I bought each kind.

_**5. Do you watch music videos? One of my brother's teachers say that you should  
>view the song in your own perspective.<strong>_

Well music videos sometimes show the song from the perspective of the creators, and you may find things about the song through music videos that can't be expressed only through audio. Some musicians use music videos as part of the artistic expression.

_**OK, I'm done here!**_

_**The fun only ends when there are no more questions to ask, and things to find  
>out. Which means it won't end!<strong>_

___**Wynter Hexa**_

Well I hope to hear (read) more from you soon.

…

From _bob_.

_**how do i kiss a girl at age 12**_

The same way you would kiss a girl at any age; with your mouth.

But in all seriousness, make sure both you and the boy/girl is consenting and don't do it out of the blue (don't pull an Anubis on her/him.)

_**i have bunch of question. Have you heard of ace combat and ace combat. Is a job as mercenary pilot considered a terrorism job.**_

Unless you're asking if the video game is considered terrorism, I don't think you're asking about the right thing. I couldn't find anything that displays Ace Combat as anything other than a video game. But I'll have to ask Horus to clarify.

_**Have you heard about Christianity.**_

Yes I have.

_**What do you think of a world with no boundaries.**_

Are we still talking about Ace Combat? If so, it's a terrorist group so I don't particularly agree with it.

_**What are their purposes in the world.**_

Since I have yet to play Ace Combat, I had to outsource this one. According to the wiki page it's a mostly terrorist organization planning on reforming the world through death and destruction.

_**If someone you really like is in danger and you get hurt protecting them should you continue to keep them safe.**_

Well if someone I care about is risking death, I think I can handle getting a little hurt.

_**if you had to change the world for the better how it be.**_

How would I improve the world for the better? Well I'd do the following:

Make sure everyone has proper spelling and grammar.

Stop close-minded ways of viewing the world.

Better education for everyone.

Make sure countries don't spend too much money on wars and not enough on schools and health.

_**If their was a nuclear war between America and Russia who would win.**_

Well I really doubt it would happen, but it's hard to say who would win. Both countries have a lot of support (well Russia has more, but the United States has a stronger military). Long story short: it will be messy.

_**Whats up with Egyt they they have had land taken and fought for noting and civil unrest.**_

I'm sorry but…what?

Uh…I guess Egypt was a British colony during the time of British Imperialism, but the commander of the Ottoman army, Muhammad Ali helped build up Egypt's modern economy and military so the country isn't that weak.

_**What do you think about the Axies and their inhuman ways of fighting.**_

You mean the Axis Powers during WWII? Well I believe there was inhumane ways of fighting on both sides; war is war. But some good did come out of WWII like the end to Hitler's reign, jet technology, and women were more accepted in the work place. Like the Renaissance mostly got its spark after the Black Plague, some good things may come from the gruesome ones.

_**i am not a bad person just curious.**_

I don't think you're a bad person for asking these questions.

…

From _Princess Celeste_.

_**Hi. It's me again... MORE QUESTIONS!**_

Yeah!

_**1. Percy Jackson or Jason Grace?**_

I think I'd get along with Jason more, but I'm probably more like Percy. I don't know, they're both good kids.

_**2. Set or Khonsu?**_

Khonsu is my best friend so I'm going with him.

_**3. Cupcake or Cake?**_

Cupcakes. It's all the goodness of cakes, but portable.

_**4. Do you watch the anime "Fairy Tail"?**_

No. I don't know if it's really my thing.

_**5. If so, NaLu, or NaLi?**_

Uh…Na…Na. Self-love, people.

_**6. Have you ever had a Star Wars marathon non-stop?**_

Hell yeah!

_**7. Anime or Manga?**_

It really depends. Some anime are great but they have crappy manga, and some are the other way around. But I usually watch anime.

_**8. Fish or Pigs? (You better answer this too, fish!)**_

**Fish: Fish!**

Since she said fish, I'm going with pigs.

**Fish: :(**

_**9. Who is your favorite character in "Number the Stars"?**_

It's hard to explain, but Number the Stars seems more like an emotional, atmospheric story than a find-your-favourite-characters-and-pairings-story. I hope that makes sense.

_**10. Strawberry or Apples?**_

Strawberries.

_**That's all folks! :)**_

Okay, bye!

…

From _Athena Goddess of the Wise_.

_**Okay, so I'm going to ask some questions. Sorry if they are slightly disturbing, I have brothers, so my brain might be a little...weird. Plus there are a lot...**_

Disturbing is always nice.

_**In the case of a zombie apocalypse, would you go to the Moon with Khofu or try to discover a cure for the zombie disease?**_

Well I doubt zombies would last very long in the first place, so I would stay here and watch them all die after, like, ten minutes.

_**And on that note, can gods be turned into zombies? Probably not…**_

Yeah, we can't. Sorry.

_**Do you like turtles? I like turtles.**_

Turtles are nice…and chewy.

_**Do you ever get grossed out by the fact that your baboons have really weird multi-colored butts?**_

Fascinated is a better word for it.

_**Each Mythology has there own god/goddess for different things, like how you share wisdom with Athena. I know you have said that you respect her, but do any other gods (such as, say, Horus and Zeus) evr fight over who is more powerful? **_

Sure they do, but there's never a full-out war. But they do bicker from time to time.

_**Why do gods like incest? I mean, marrying your siblings is kind of gross, at least now a days.**_

Because incest is win-cest!

In all seriousness, you answered the question yourself: "At least nowadays". Back then, if you wanted to keep your royal blood moving, you kept it in the family.

_**Some people say your the god of the moon. So do you visit the moon often, or only in the face of nuclear war?**_

There's not much going on there, but I visit occasionally.

_**How come you can't remember all of your kids names? Or were they just to long to write?**_

I guess I just forgot them. You know how things are. I don't know if I even gave all of them names.

_**How many languages can you speak? I mean obviously English and Egyptian, and probably Latin, but what others? Or do you just immediently know a language when you visit a place where it is spoken?**_

I'm good at adapting to different languages, but I'm fluent in ancient Egyptian, English, German, and Latin. For me to learn a language, I have to be in the country of origin for a while then I get used to it.

_**Sorry for all the long (and slightly weird) questions, or if there were any spelling/grammar mistakes.**_

Don't worry; I've seen worse.

_**P.S. Fish, how did you pull of kidnapping a god? Not that I will use this information to my advantage or anything...;)**_

**Fish: Magic. Magic and Roofies.**

You crazy_

**Fish: See you all next time!**


	14. Chapter 14

Yay. Fish's computer is fixed...sort of.

From _my pretty kitty7_.

_**Lord Thoth: what do you hate the most Justin bieber or the twilight saga?**_

Twilight. Justin's music isn't anything too bad; it's just the attitude that annoys me. Twilight, on the other hand, is actually insulting to women, men, and people with functioning minds. It over emphasizes how important it is for a girl to have a boyfriend and rushing into marriage. While Justin's songs can be a bit too mature and overly romantic for his age, there isn't anything too harmful.

_**what is your favorite quote?**_

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."-Voltaire.

_**what is your favorite brand of soda besides mountin dew?**_

Uh...root beer, maybe.

_**what is your favorite and least favorite Taylor swift songs?**_

Uh...I don't actively seek out her music, so let me do some half-assed research.

*One "half-assed research session later*

Okay I'm back.

Favourites: Our Song and Innocent.

Least Favourites: Fifteen and Love Story.

_**are you going to see the hunger games movie?**_

I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD.

_**all right thats all stay sane!**_

Considering who's coming next, no promises.

...

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_***is still in rocketship***_

_***finally descends to planet earth***_

_**HELLO! I'M BACK FROM THE CRAZY PLANET; I'VE BROUGHT SOUVENEIRS! WHO WANTS  
>SOME?<strong>_

Hello, Crazy. I've been expecting you.

_**1- First, of all you suck for a god a wisdom sorry. Athena's better. :P**_

Cool story, bro.

_**2- I noticed that you are not going to tell Apophis that I love him. Either you're a wuss or you are distracted by my craziness. :( plus, snakes are awesome!  
><strong>_

I'm not going to summon the being of all destruction just because you have a crush. Sorry.

_**3- Yeah, trolls are superCRAZY! I've trolled before, did you know that? It  
>didn't go so well...<strong>_

Did it involve an incredibly handsome god of wisdom in any way?

_**4- talking about trolls, who's the best troll you've ever heard of? (don't say  
>who I think you're gonna say)<strong>_

I wasn't planning on saying it. Anyway, my favourite "troll" is...if Encyclopedia Dramatica was one person, I'd chose them.

_**5- Yes, Amy rocks your a** off! BUT HOW THE HELL, does Nicki Minaj scare you? Maybe you're a wuss?**_

It's not that Nicki Minaj scares me (I just worded that wrong). She's just a very uncomfortable artist. She just has this presence that bothers me. And it's not like I'm completely sheltered from music so Minaj was the scariest I've ever seen. Just last week I has a Tool, Primus, and Sound Garden marathon and those didn't really scare me.

_**6. Have you ever gotten a lap dance? LOL, I can't believe I'm asking that. Tell me if my questions are getting too dirty, please. **_

No, I've never gotten a "lap dance".

_**7. Do you think I will ever be sane once again despite all the CrAzY things I do?**_

Asking random questions on a fanfiction website and capitalizing random letters doesn't really make you crazy or insane.

_**8. Why are you sucha a geek?**_

I'm not a geek; I'm a nerd. There's a difference, thank you very much.

_**9- AHHHHHH? HELP ME! One of my friends is trying to make me normal again! WHAT SHOULD I DO? She says that I do the craziest stuff ever. That's not true! I only do the cRaZiESt stuff ever! **_

Have fun. :)

_**10. Hey, wanna go get drunk?**_

There's some problems with that...

1. I don't know who you are and if you're even old enough to drink.

2. No offence, but I'm not sure if I want to meet you in real life.

3. Fish and I have been getting drunk for the past two weeks and I need a break.

So...no.

_**11- do you think I might be bipolar?**_

No. You don't show any symptoms of being bipolar.

_**BYE! I'M GONNA LEAVE SOME SOUVENEIRS WITH THE BOTH OF YOU. TAKE CARE OF THEM OR ELSE... I'M COMING BACK TO CHECK ON MY CraZy souveneirs! You can look at then if you want and touch them *drops boxes of CRazY souveneirs with the both of you***_

**Fish: What the...what did I miss?**

You really don't want to know.

...

From _xxEu-chan (Yuu)_

_**anyway, yes, Lady Ma'at is lovely, I agree.**_

Thank you; she really is.

_**So do you like yaoi?**_

Well I'm not a big fan of the way it sometimes portrays gay men as sex objects, but then again I like yuri so I don't think that's fair. I don't seek it out, but I don't mind it.

_**What about bacon?**_

Bacon is amazing.

_**Do you know how to shuffle? The one in party rock anthem...**_

Well to be able to shuffle, I must be good at dancing...which I'm not.

_**Have you heard of the song, Super Bass? I lijge the song but hate the MV. It's too PINK.**_

The song is okay (but it still pisses me off that she says "who I is"). As for the music video, I must admit that it was a little too pink. But then again, her album is called Pink Friday, so I can't say I'm too surprised.

**Fish: How...how do you know this?**

I don't know.

...

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**would yo mind answering the question you missed?**_

I missed one by you? I checked the reviews, chapters, and Fish's email and I couldn't find any, but it's possible I might have missed one but I just can't find it.

**Fish: Thoth, please stay out of my email.**

_**Have you ever gotten drunk and/or high?**_

Yes and yes. But not at the same time.

_**Is it wrong to enjoy freaking others out with speculation? because I do that to my DnD players.**_

Eh...I don't think it's too wrong.

_**Finally, if you are the god of wisdom, who is the god of madness?**_Set. While that isn't one of his official titles...come on.

...

From _Lia MarieDaughter of Hecate_.

_**I'm not gonna write to much cuz I'm deppresed and sad.**_

_**But here ya go.**_

Um...I'm not going to ask any questions. Hope you get better and that you seek the help you need.

_**I'm probably Konsu the second, and thats why my parent are like they are, over-controlling freaks, (and they get mad when I gobehind their backs)**_

Honestly, that sounds how most parents act.

_**If your wondering wht I'm depressed and sad, it's because I dont get to go see the concert of my very favorite singer this weekend, I absolutly LOVE Blake Shelton and he's playing right in Seattle, not even A FLIPPIN' HOUR FROM WHERE I LIVE! *Sob***_

I'm terribly sorry...internet cookie?

_**But aren't Miranda and Blake adorable together?**_

Uh...sure.

_**Love them, but honestly? THANK GOD a stylist got ahold of him, he's a lot hotter now than he was when he was married to Kaynette, just my opinion**_

Yes, I agree.

_**Peace, love, pie don't die,**_

_**~Jace~**_

I'll try my best not to.

...

From _Broadway4eva_.

_**Hello again! Hope you're having a nice day, and sorry I'm asking you all these irrelevant **_

_**questions.**_

Irrelevant questions are always fun.

_**Why are you so critical of Fish's plague doctor yuri FanFiction? I mean, I can't say that I would specifically like it, but everyone has their own opinion. **_

It's not that. It's just the shocking truth that something like that actually exists.

**Fish: It doesn't; I had to make it.** **How come there isn't more plague doctor yuri?**

I'm sure there's a very good reason for_

**Fish: Please support your local lesbian plague doc_**

Please shut up, Fish.

_**Have you ever read Pride and Prejudice? It's really good! Oooh! So is Animal  
>Farm!<strong>_

I really like Pride and Prejudice but Animal Farm is one of my favourite books. Along with 1984.

_**What is the least common name in the world?**_

I couldn't find an exact answer, but I'm sure it's something like:

.

Doesn't it just roll off the tongue?

_**How many languages do you speak?**_

Right now: Four. English, German, ancient Egyptian, and Spanish from spending a lot of time in the south. But I can pick up any language really fast if I'm around a lot of it.

_**Are you a Friends fan?**_

The problem is: I'm not really a tv fan.

...

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hi...again.**_

_**1. YAY FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T SLEEP AND HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH THEIR  
>TIME. <strong>_

Yeah!

_**2. Actually, typing stretches my hands, so it helps.**_

Well you're lucky then; it does the exact opposite for me. Fortunately, I have Fish to type everything for me.

**Fish: :(**

_**3. I want to watch The Kite Runner movie. The book was so good. And if the movie did the book justice...**_

The movie was also really good.

_**4. I just realized how rare it is for a book to be made into a good movie...**_

Well it is rare, but it does happen. In fact, there's some instances where the movie turns out to be better than the book. For example: Psycho, Silence of the Lambs, and The Godfather are three movies that turned out to be a lot better than the books they were based on.

_**5. READERS FOR THE FREAKING WIN!**_

You know it!

_**6. I do the same thing with bookmarks. People laugh when they see and random  
>piece of ripped up paper in my book. xD<strong>_

Yeah, the same thing happens to me too.

_**7. Do you enjoy soft, fuzzy blankets?**_

Of course I do.

_**8. What is the best and worst thing about you?**_

Best: My intellect, my ability to examine a situation on a mature level, my immorality.

Worst: My overuse of sarcasm, I can be a bit cynical, Khonsu says I can be pretensions, but I don't think so.

_**9. Do you enjoy Fish's company? And you, Fish, do you enjoy Thoth's?**_

I think we enjoy each other's company; our bickering is mostly for comedic effect. Right, Fish?

**Fish: :(**.

_**10. I just realized you enjoy Sharpies too. THEY ARE SO EPIC! Last year, my science fair project was about how you can remove them. Because I use them far too much to not make mistakes. Dx**_

I love how even sharpies are considered epic now. But I agree.

_**11. Are you considered clumsy?**_

Uh...not too badly.

_**Hope to have answers soon! Thanks!**_

_**~Different**_

*Checks calendar* whoops.

...

From _Laylaenchantix_.

_**HEHEHHEHE...I'm baaaaaaack.**_

_**1) I'm glad you believe in fairies! 'Cause I am one! :D**_

Wow. Uh...if you don't mind me asking, how did you manage to operate a keyboard? Because I'm impressed. Unless you have a tiny, fairy-sized keyboard.

_**2) In responce to Question 8, yes, it would be strange if they portrayed you as a 200-feet-tall polka dancer.**_

I don't want to think about that.

_**3) I LOVE KIT-KAT! AND MILKY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. **_

Honestly, while I do love Kit Kats, I could never get myself to enjoy Milky Ways or Three Musketeers.

_**4) Go record Set's reaction to Care Bears and Post it on YouTube. Seriously, you'd be offered a million bucks for it. **_

It's a little too late for that now and I don't know who's giving me the money. Sorry.

_**5) Women tattooed Bes on their thighs...what the...why?**_

It was for fertility reasons. You see, Bes_

**[This part has been cut out to help you keep at least an ounce of your sanity]**

_**6) Do you like cheese?**_

Cheese...I like cheese.

_**9) Do you have some pepper spray I can borrow!**_

No. No I don't.

_**Well, that's all I've got. But I'm going to have many many questions to ask. Ninety-nine, to be exact :D**_

Oh...this will be fun.

...

From _FemaleWriter-Reader_

_**Hi. More questions, as usual.**_

_**1. Yuri FTW. I mean, Yaoi is horrible. I can't stand seeing (anime) guys in  
>romantic relationships.<strong>_

I don't have a problem with yaoi, it's just that there's too much of it.

**Fish: Did you also know that Yuri is a Russian male name?**

The more you know!

*cue rainbow*

_**2. Sharpies are awesome! Do you have a Sharpie with you right now? If so, what  
>color is it?<strong>_

Red. Because I'm boring like that. Also, I was using it to correct Fish's writing.

**Fish: He began correcting a letter I was going to send to my girlfriend on Valentine's Day and because of him I won't be able to send it until one month later.**

You're welcome.

_**3. Personally, I think NYC is the worst city ever. Even though it's my home city. Do you think it's wrong for me to think that my home city is horrible?**_You can have issues with your home city; I see nothing wrong with that.

**Fish: I can beat that; I hate my entire state.**

_**4. Do you like stickers?**_

I like Post-its.

_**5. Do you write random things on paper sometimes?**_

If I get an idea I like to write it down.

_**6. Can you describe to me Ma'at's personality? **_

She's really sweet and nice, but she can be harsh when she needs to. After all, she is the goddess of justice (among other things).

_**7. Is it true that Moses was the only foreigner to defeat the House of Life in a duel? Can you tell me more about who Moses is and what happened with him?**_

Yes...but we don't like to talk about it.

_**8. Do you use chapstick?**_

Well I don't really have to use it here, but sometimes I do.

_**9. Do you use YouTube?**_

Very rarely.

_**So those are my questions! Have a good day, both of you!**_

I hope you have a nice day too.


	15. Chapter 15

Okay, let's answer some questions.

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**YAY1 I'M BACK! I was sad because my dad told me that we were going to go to British Columbia to see Hell's Gate and Vancouver, possibly even Vancouver Island for March break. And then, after four days of planning and packing done by me, I asked him when we were going, and he had no clue what I was talking about. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FORGETFUL? Anyways, four days for nothing. I guess it was more like two days or something, because I had school those days, but still...**_

Well that sucks. Not entirely sure how one could forget about an upcoming vacation, though.

_**1) So Thoth...How has your day been? **_As of the writing of this chapter, I've just been pacing around and waiting for Fish to wake up and she just did five minutes ago. It's noon. On Thursday.

_**2) Is it necessary to put two spaces between every sentence when you type on a computer? I HATE DOING THAT. But my teacher says I have to...**_Actually, you don't have to all of the time, have to, but it can make your writing easier to read (I do it all of the time). Unfortunately, I'm not sure if it shows up on .

_**3) There is this kid I know, she's in my class, and (*bursts out laughing*) she sent me some random email saying that I was mean and cruel to her. THROUGH AN EMAIL! *starts laughing again* SHE PUNCHED ME THREE TIMES! AND SHE EXPECTS ME TO BE 'NICE' TO HER! HOW FUNNY IS THAT? **_

Uh...is there a way you can avoid her or, even better, just talk to her about how you feel?

_**4) I've given my zombie chocolate teddy bear a name. His name's Z, 'cause that stands for Zombie...**_

Uh huh...

**Fish: That is awesome! I have a stuffed Ebola virus named Stewart!**

Where did you get a stuffed Ebola virus?

_**5) Is it true you can't start a sentence with 'And'? I've done that twice now...**_

Actually, you can. There are some sentences (depending on how formal the situation is) where using "and" is very important. My guess is that the reason people say you can't use it is because there's other words that sound better in that situation (in addition to, furthermore, etc).

_**6) You know, now you made my third favourite number 108. I can totally see the logic in why you like it. But I still like the numbers 11 and 7 better. Because they rhyme, and the 7 seas. I think there's 7 seas, I've never bothered to actually count...**_Well we don't know the exact number of seas, but right now it's around 50.

_**7) I don't know why I'm putting some comments in as questions...See? I'm doing it again!**_Yeah. The problem is I'm not entirely sure how to respond to those; I'm not the best talker.

**Fish: Which is funny considering that you're really good at it.**

Fish...

_**MOUNTAIN DEW FOR THE WIN! And I've found a new disrespect for pandas...They get too much attention. Well, not really, but in my family they do, and it ticks me off. AND WHAT ABOUT TIGERS? THEY'RE AWESOME! Orange and black stripes...Or is it really black with orange stripes?**_

Orange with black stripes (though it can vary). But tigers do get a lot of attention too, but what about the puffer fish? I believe they deserve some attention too.

_***insert mysterious music here***_

*Insert polka music here*

_**TYPE TO YA LATER!**_

Okay, type to you too.

...

From _FemaleWriter-Reader_.

_**Hey, both of you... NYC is horrible, Sharpies are awesome, whatever... **_

Well any city can seem bad when you're stuck in it. Sharpies are universally awesome, though.

_**Yeah. Sorry about that Moses question. I, um, asked that question to see how you would answer the question without going... there. You know, to the point where it's uncomfortable to talk about because... okay, you already know where I'm getting at!**_

Yeah…let's move on.

_**1. Old fashioned phones or touch phones?**_

I'm not sure how to answer that. Do you mean which phone do I use? Well in that case: touch phone. If you're asking which one I prefer, I'm going to have to go with touch phones again because you can do more with them. But we wouldn't have touch phones without the original one.

_**2. Ra or Khonsu?**_

Another hard question because I am loyal to Lord Ra, but Khonsu is my best friend. So if you're asking which one I would rather serve then the answer is obvious: Ra. But if you're asking me which one I would trust more to save me from a burning building…actually I'd be screwed either way.

_**3. Is it true that jellyfish are immortal?**_

No, only a specific type of jellyfish. It's known as the _Turritopsis nutriula_ and it's only immortal is it is able to go back to any age it chooses to.

_**5. What do you think is REALLY overrated right now?**_

Anubis. Creepy guy in a dark coat makes out with preteens in graveyards and he is forgiven because "omg, he's so hot!" okay, so apply that to me, or Khonsu, or Osiris. Isn't it really creepy now? And this isn't a matter of age: pretty much all of the gods are the same age!

**Fish: You'll find any opportunity to rip on Anubis, won't you?**

…Shut up!

_**6. If some of the gods "claim" that "mortals are so confusing", then WHY do they act like mortals sometimes? (like, they do mortal activities, for example)**_

When we say mortals are confusing, it's because most of us don't fully understand the concept of dying and not reforming. We understand mortal activities and behaviour, it's just the mortality that we don't understand.

_**Those are my questions. Bye. (sorry, I'm so bitter right now.)**_

I didn't sense any bitterness in your questions, don't worry.

…

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_

_**Hey, it's okay about not answering quickly. Time gets away from us writers. And we all have lives beyond the screen...mostly.**_

Yes, mostly.

_**1. I agree completely on Twilight. -.- I have no clue how it got published.**_

I know how it got published. Want to know why? Because it's easy to market off of the hormonal emotions of teenagers. Twilight caters (or panders) to the hormones or sexual confusion that a young audience may be feeling. Add the mystery of some otherworldly character and you have a perfect marketing machine. But it still sucks.

_**2. What are your favorite book genres?**_

Science fiction, mystery, psychological thriller, and historical fiction.

_**3. Did you fix Fish's computer?**_

Fish's computer was beyond repair. We replaced her video card, replaced her RAM, and got a battery backup. None of that worked so she just got a new computer.

**Fish: It's pretty sexy.**

_**4. Oh, if you're in Arizona, you NEED to go to Montezuma's Castle and Montezuma's Well, up near Prescott. At the well, you can see ruins so close...and it's just amazing. Get Fish to take you. :P **_

Fish won't take me. :(

**Fish: I used to be an assistant teacher so I had to take the classes their all of the time during trips. I'm kind of sick of the place.**

You suck, Fish.

_**5. Fish, I hate Arizona too. It's so boring. I mean, there's stuff to do, but it's so huge you can't do it all! And then it's so dry. I love the heat, but does it have to be DRY? Yeesh. -.-**_

**Fish: As a person who lived in the east and Korea for a while, let me tell you that dry heat is so much better than humid heat, but I agree with you. I mostly hate this place do to the insanity of the people who live here so I'm planning on moving to Canada, England, or Australia.**

_**6. Do you travel a lot, Thoth?**_

Not so much anymore; I'm kind of stuck here.

_**7. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?**_

Generally speaking: I'm more of an extrovert considering that I learn more from outside sources, but I don't like talking with people too much.

**Fish: You don't mind talking to me.**

Yeah, but I don't think you count as a person.

_**Well, I'm too lazy to think up more questions, so...bye!**__****_

_**Keep writing!**__****_

_**~Different**_

Okay, bye!

…

From…_CrazyAndIKnowIt._

_**So Fish's computer is better now? Yay! Tell the computer that I'm so happy for it! Oh, & I brought flowers. *throws flowers at Thoth, Fish, & Fish"s computer***___

Well it broke again so…thanks for the flowers.

_**1- I wouldnt EVER want to meet you. So, yes, I'm GLAD you said NO!**_

Hey, I'm not the one with an LMFAO song as their username.

_**2- Wait- there's a handsome god of wisdom somewhere? WHERE?**_

Your worst nightmares.

_**3- Will I ever regain my sanity? Say no, OR ELSE.**_

You're not that insane, dearie. Sorry.

_**4- Do you wear clothes?**_

Now: Yes. Back in ancient Egypt: Sometimes.

_**5- Why do so many people like brownies? Like, BROWNIES ARE GROSS. EW.**_

Because brownies are made from chocolate and people usually like chocolate.

_**6- What do you think of me?**_

I love you in the creepiest, most perverse, most non-platonic way ever. Does that satisfy you?

_**7- Why is Anubis so emo?**___

Set never hugged him.

_**8- Be prepared, for the next question will be the smartest question ever asked.**_

Come at me, bro!

_**9- Can I ask you a question?**_

Brilliant!

_**Bye, 'takes soiveneirs and get on rocketship to CRAZY planet as quickly as possible'**_

*Waves another handkerchief*

…

From _Laylaenchantix101._

_**Before I begin my ninety-nine questions...**_

_**DUDE! I'm regular sized! I'm not Tinkerbell sized! Gosh, I hate it when people think that all fairies are tiny! It's so flippin' annoying!**_

My apologies. I didn't mean to say that all fairies looked alike, I was just…uh…you see, I heard that…

**Fish: You lost this battle, Thoth.**

_**Okay, time for the ninety nine quetions. I'm sorry that you guys will have to be typing for so long :(**_

Don't worry; Fish is doing the typing!

**Fish: *Grumble***

_**1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?**_

I like to keep them closed because I prefer to sleep in an entirely closed environment, if that makes any sense.

_**2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?**_

Of course!

_**3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?**_

Tucked in, but they're usually out once I wake up.

_**4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?**_

No, I really don't see the point.

_**5: Do you like to use post-it notes?**_

Yes!

_**6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?**_

I used to have a really bad habit of doing that.

_**7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?**_

That's easy: You can't shoot a swarm of bees.

**Fish: Thoth!**

Sorry, I've been in the south for too long.

_**8: Do you have freckles?**_

No, not really.

_**9: Do you always smile for pictures?**_

Sometimes. Most of the time I'm caught off guard and I end up doing an awkward smirk/grimace.

_**10: What is your biggest pet peeve?**_

People who use big words without knowing what they mean.

_**Okay, I'm only gonna ask you ten questions per review. So I won't curse you all with so many questions to answer. Bye!**_

Sounds good. Bye!

…

From _Broadway4eva_.

_**Hi again, Thoth!**_

Hey!

_**Have you ever seen Les Miserables?**_

Yes and I read the book.

_**Can you enlighten me about the British money system? I get that they use pence, quid, and pounds, but I don't get much more than that.**_

One pound is made up of one hundred pence and quid is a slang term for pound.

_**Thoth, you should stop ridiculing Fish for her plague doctor yuri FanFiction. I'm not a fan, but it is her opinion, which probably should be respected.**_

No it's not that…it just gets weirder.

**Fish: Don't worry, Thoth. Since my old computer died, my entire plague doctor-steampunk-1920's-Egyptian-Bollywood-Portugeese man of war-lesbian-sex-pictures/writing is now gone! :(**

…That exists?

**Fish: No; I had to make it.**

_**If you could learn any language in the world, what would it be?**_

The first language that was ever spoken. Not the first recorded language, but what people used to communicate when they first realized they had the ability.

_**Black printer cartridges or color printer cartridges?**_

Depends what I'm printing.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5._

_**Why are all of the gods except you, Anubis (he's just emo) and set (he's just a troll) so childish?**_

Because we have access to unlimited power and we have the responsibility of the entire universe on our shoulders. Also, Anubis can be childish.

_**The question you missed was:**__****_

_**YOU BROWSE THE INTERNET FREELY? ARE YOU INSANE?**_

No, actually I kind of enjoy the results.

…

From _The Girl In The Pointe Shoes._

_**Blip bleep bloop blop blik bang bizzle**_

Kaboom!

_**Congrats Miranda Shelton, you've made the only song that can make me cry, 'Over You', Tooth, go listen to it, I always break down when she says 'see you in stone', so sad...**_

I break down when people call me "Tooth". But I'll be sure to check it out. :)

_**Fish, this story is awesome**_

**Fish: Thank you, I do my best.**

Fish, I'm the one giving all of the answers!

**Fish: Do you hear something?**

_**Tooth, I have an extensive vocab of insults and sarcasm, why do people look at me funny? Insulting them is my way of saying "Dude, you're awesome" not my fault the idiots have no sense of humor**_

Well sarcasm is one of those things that is nearly impossible to translate or to get across; it's not a matter of humour…okay, it kind of is.

…

From _TricksterPrincess._

_**Hi Thoth! Did you miss me? Who am I kidding, of course you did! Well, I got my own account now, yeah I did, it's called MyNameIsA so if you ever get any questions from her, thats me! Your favorite loser of The Game.**_

Hey, you!

_**Now, we have my questions!**____****_

_**1. Have you ever watched Phineas and Ferb?**_

I can't say I have.

_**2. Blue or Green?**_

Green…?

_**3. Camp HalfBlood or Camp Jupiter?**_

Well Camp Jupiter does a better job at keeping the children, you know, alive.

_**4. FanFiction or FictionPress?**_

I'm not the biggest fan of fanfiction, but I haven't spent much time at Fictionpress.

_**5. Have you ever watched A Very Potter Musical?**_

Yes, I have.

_**6. How about Starship?**_

Yep.

_**7. I have this girl I don't like. But her birthday's coming up anther party is free tickets to the Hunger Games movie! Catch is, I had to sit next to her, do I go or not?**_

Ah…I probably answered this a bit too late, but here's my answer anyway; get the movie on DVD.

_**8. Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother?**_

Nope.

_**9. If so, who do you think is the mother?**_

Set. He's everyone's mother. Including me.

_**10. LALALALALALALA?**_

"Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time. Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine."

**Fish: Yeah! My SOAD fan-ness is rubbing off on you.**

_**Bye!**__****_

_**~A**_

Bye!

…

From _xxEu-chan_.

_**You sure you like Yuri? I see... wait 'til my father hears about it *is having an HP moment***_

Uh, Fish is the Yuri fan.

_**Oh never mind that one up there ^ jeez xD**_

Okay.

_**Yes, I think I could agree... because I'm so dumb I forgot that the title of the album is 'Pink Friday', like you said.**_

I still don't know why I knew that. XD

_**Anyway, Nicki Minaj creeps me out for some reason...**_

She's just a rather…uncomfortable artist.

_**Have you heard of 9gag?**_

Yes, but I'm more of a Reddit person.

_**I looked for you in deviantArt and guess what, I saw LOTS of photos.**_

Oh gosh…what did you see? It was just a phase, I swear!

…

From _Nico's-Girlfriend-Cassy._

_**Hello Thoth!**_

Hello, Cassy!

_**What's the most awkward position you've ever been in?**_

Ma'at and I went to a mall one day and she decided to go into the lingerie store. Unfortunately, she got lost and I had to go find her. So I had to search through underwear racks looking for my wife.

_**If you could be any person in the world, who would you be?**_

I like being myself, but I wouldn't mind having Shakespeare as a host.

_**Coke or Pepsi?**_

Personally, I like Pepsi, but I can't really tell the difference. I probably like Pepsi just because it owns Mountain Dew.

_**Who is the weirdest person you've ever met?**_

That homeless guy talking about Carebears is pretty high up there.

_**Personally I think your one of the coolest gods ever!**_

Thanks!

_**Arrivederci,**__****_

_**NGC**_

Alavidā

…

From _Asuragetsfalconpunched._

_**Hello, Lord Thoth.**_

Hey!

_**1.)What is your favorite food?**_

Barbeque.

_**2.)Do you enjoy spending this much time with Fish?**_

Yes, she's pretty enjoyable to be around.

_**3.)Do you honestly believe Set to be the god of madness?**_

Yeah.

_**4.)If you answered yes to that last question, why?**_

Well he _is_ a chaos god.

_**5.)How long has it been since you've seen Ma'at?**_

Uh…about 200 years? Maybe?

_**6.)What is your opinion on the yaoi pairing between Carter and Horus?**_

That…that exists?

_**7.)Are my grammar and spelling correct in the past questions?**_

_**~Asura**_

Yeah, anything I could bring up would just be extreme nitpicks.

…

From _someone._

_**Hiiiiiii.**_

Wazzup?

_**1) Is there a secret you would like to share with all of us?**_

Uh…no?

_**2) Why is Sadie Kane so UGH? 'mutters: I hate that b***h'**_

Because she's young and impulsive. I was like that too, just how us hieroglyphic users operate. Look at Isis.

_**3) Do you curse/cuss?**_

Sometimes.

_**4) Why are you the only god permitted into the House of life?**_

Because I'm the loyal scribe and husband of Ma'at.

_**5) Why does Annie say that he isn't a dog, when HE IS A DOG? (jackals are wild dogs. Annie is so dumb)**___

Well calling Anubis a dog is like calling me an ibis. It's a symbol for us and we can appear in its form, but we don't always take on that form.

_**6) If you could eat something right now, what would you eat?**_

Spinach pie.

_**Thats all... Bye and I hate u, Thoth!**_

*That's. *You.

…

From _leoissofunny._

_**Me and Nathen are being forbided to go out until 8th grade. Will he still like me then? Nathen is so nice, loyal and cute!**_

If you both want to date, perhaps.

…

From _Elinor Nightshade._

_**Lord Thoth,**_

Elinor…

_**I have just put phase one of my plan to get rid Khonsu in to action.**_

Please don't. He's my best friend.

_**I like to sniff Sharpies.**_

Cool…don't hurt your brain too much.

_**Who is the god/dess of Drama?**_

I think you're looking for Meret.

_**I want to meet said god/dess.**_

Hope you can handle hyper.

_**Thank you,**__****_

_**E**_

You're welcome,

T.

…

From _gingerroot15_.

_**Uh... Sorry I haven't reviewed earlier, and sorry if this is a little off-sounding, I am switching between a pen and my finger.**_

Pen and finger?

_**Anyway, have you heard of Cleverbot? It's not really very smart...**_

Yeah, if you tell the Cleverbot "If you pull my finger, you will hear a tuba", it will confess to being a robot immediately.

…

From _Fenrir the Vicious._

_**lord thoth**____****_

_**can a egyptian god shire a demigod like a the greek or roman gods with magician?If they did would they need to use a host to do it or just combine part of their essence with the human there making child with?Has this ever happened before?**_

Are you asking if an Egyptian god can have demigod children with mortal humans or magicians? The answer is yes, but the child has an even less likely chance of survival than Greek demigods.

_**Also how did horus get set to eat lettuce covered in seed did think it was ranch dressing?**_

No, Set just really likes lettuce.

_**If the magician are afriad of aphophis rising again cant they just sic sekmet on it she might not kill it but they might fight each other for eternity**_

Even though the fighting fire with fire concept works sometimes, Sekhmet is known to go on rampages and I had to deal with a Sekhmet breakout once before and I nearly lost an eye and a leg.

…

From _Blakkat98._

_**Um...allo! Sorry, if I'm weird at all,it's just that I've never asked an awesome god anything,nor ever met a person whos a yuri fan,(like myself,yuri ftw!yaoi...kinda..scares me) or someone whos epic enough to kidnapp a god,so you rock fish! Also,I'm on my phone,so please excuse any spelling errors or anything like that!**___

**Fish: Yeah!**

Who said you could be here, Fish?

_**So,my first question is: ever heard of cullenism?(however the hell it's spelt,I don't care about twitlight) if so,how do you feel about it?**_

In my mind, it doesn't exist.

_**2.) How do you feel about being forced to answer all of our random questions? Doesn't it annoy you at all...?**_

Well it's not like we do it all day. Fish goes to college while I stay home and browse the internet or read, then she comes home and we answer a few questions and work on homework, then we have dinner.

_**3.) On a scale from 1 to 10, how epic would you rate yourself? You too fish!**___

If you want to take the literal definition of epic, I would be a ten because I've been around for thousands of years and "epic" is usually used to describe a really long piece of literature. On that note, Fish would be a one.

**Fish: Hey!**

What? You've only been around for a few decades!

_**Anyway,that's all yall,have a nice day! Or...night...either works.**_

Okay, you too.

…

From _amycastellan_.

_**Lord Thoth, I Have four questions for you.**_

Okay, let's do this.

_**1. My friends and I think that if I host Ma'at this will help defeat chaos, do you think it will work?**_

Eh…unfortunately, Ma'at can't actively fight against chaos since that alone would cause chaos. Also, I don't know how old you are and I would prefer it if my wife had a host that was of age. So sorry.

_**2. If I do host her will it destroy my relationship with by boyfriend (he fallows the path of Set)?**_

No. Even Set falls under the rule of Ma'at.

_**3. Is the world worth saving if it means, possibly losing my boyfriend, having to be honest all the time, having another person in by head, having someone nagging me because I am not a clean or orderly person (I like it that way) and someone said If did I my go blind. So is the world worth all that?**_

Yes. It is worth it. One, you don't have to become the host of Ma'at; you can fight chaos without her. So if you don't want to fight chaos because of your boyfriend or because you want your privacy, fight for the 7 billion people living on this planet right now who need the help of the combined forces of magicians and gods to live another day through chaos.

_**4. Why did you try to kill me? My aunt had statue of you on a bookshelf and when it fell it/you almost impaled me with your freaking beak.**___

I don't inhabit all statues of me, but I can guarantee that was just a mistake.

_**Well thanks that was fun, bye Thoth, bye Fish.**_

Bye!

…

From _Nanashi_.

_**.net/s/7693823/1/**__****_

_**Please go to this link and report this person. (her name is jo bel) WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET SO WE CAN STOP HER. Please! Follow the link and report this scum!**_

Uh…cool story, bro?

…

From _Stickman22_.

_**Guten Tag (Good Day) Thoth**_

Guten Tag. Wie geht's?

_**I just have to ask this, but why is it that 7 of your kids' names were forgot? Did you not name them or are you just not a good father?**_

It's because they only reformed once…4,000 years ago.

_**p.s. I am not German, I just take german at my school!**_

Ah, okay. So does Fish.

…

From _MissAce98_.

_**Hey lord Thoth!I'm back :P**_

Hey.

_**I meant about the ibises having a obsessive compulsive thing (like the baboons)**_

Oh. The ibises are very organized to an almost scary level.

_**Say something in german! Pretty please?**_

"_Die stillsten Worte sind es, welche den Sturm bringen. Gedanken, die mit Taubenfüßen kommen, lenken die Welt."_

_ -_Friederich Nietzsche_._

_**BYE**_

Bye.

…

From…_Ma'at_…

_**Hi honey! I've been calling you for weeks now, since you FORGOT about our anivecery. Speaking of it, how long have we been together again?(Yes, I occasionally forget)**_

My apologies, dearest, but why are you upset at me for forgetting our anniversary when you forgot how long we've been married (answer: 4,692 years).

_**Love, Ma'at:)**___

Love you too. :)

_**P.s Why did some girl pretend to be me? We never had a date. But I do like LMFAO. SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING! Also, don't get mad at me for spelling. I haven't been human in a REALLY long time.**_

You like LM…how about we don't discuss our tastes in music, dear?


	16. Chapter 16

Let's just jump right into this.

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hello.**_

Hey. 'Sup?

_**1. How's life?**_

Swell. Quite swell.

_**2. Do you enjoy card games?**_

Sometimes, but I haven't played much lately.

_**3. Are you crafty at all?**_

I guess you can say that.

_**4. Do you prefer mechanical or regular pencils?**_

Mechanical.

_**5. Computer problems suck. My dad bought me a new laptop because my old one**__**  
><strong>__**had so many viruses on it. On the bright side, I didn't lose any of my writing**__**  
><strong>__**AND it's a Windows 7. :D**_

That's good; Fish also got Windows 7. Unfortunately, she _did_ lose all of her writing.

_**Bye!**__****_

_**~Different**_

Toodle-oo.

…

From _Asuragetsfalconpunched_.

_**Kon'nichiwa, tōto-shin. Bābekyū wa... Suzushī.**_

私のホバークラフトは鰻でいっぱいです

_**1.) Do you know what I said?**_

Yes, but it would be easier if you used the characters.

_**2.) If so, good for you. If no, I'll tell you what it means later. Is that O.**__**  
><strong>__**K. with you?**_

Okay.

_**3.) Yes. Yes, the Carter and Horus pairing does exist. I've seen it. Look up**_

_**Carter and Horus, narrow it down to where it is only Carter and Horus'**_

_**characters and the genre is romance. There is where you will find the Carter**_

_**and Horus pairing. They are both by a writer named Oreo13, and they are**_

_**actually pretty good.**_

Uh…I'll pass.

_**4.) Do you approve of this pairing?**_

I have the same feelings towards this pairing that I have towards Sanubis. Which is to day, I don't.

_**5.) Who is the Egyptian God or Goddess of the Night and/or Darkness?**_

Nephthys and Kuk.

_**6.) Does this quote from my friend's unpublished story disturb you at all? "In**__**  
><strong>__**some ways, I am just plain insane. In other's, I'm the most sane person you'll**__**  
><strong>__**ever meet. Either way, I still got locked up in the loony bin. And guess what**__**  
><strong>__**else! They serve pizza every Wednesday!"**_

Not really disturbed by this.

_**7.) Does it bother you to know that I am plotting to try and stop Aphophis by**__**  
><strong>__**myself?**_

Yes, please don't. Please!

_**8.) If so, don't worry. I'll be fine. Keep your friends close, but keep your**__**  
><strong>__**enemies closer... That IS the phrase they use in situations like this, isn't**__**  
><strong>__**it?**_

Yes, but not when they're talking about a giant fucking snake that eats happiness for brunch! (Excuse my language).

_**9.) I think I'll go try and carry out my plan now. Do you want to help?**_

_**~Asura**_

Just calm down, the gods and senior magicians will take care of it.

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**I'M SO EMO RIGHT NOW!**_

I'm sorry.

_**1. WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?**_

I'm a terrible person.

_**2. F*** THE WORLD!**_

I don't think Geb will appreciate that.

_**3. WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?**_

Like I said, I'm a terrible person.

_**4. I HATE YOU!**_

Good, I can add you to my list.

_**5. I'm back to normal :)**_

Goody.

_**6. What would happen to the world if I ruled it?**_

Like a Michael Bay film (explosions everywhere).

_**7. TELL ME WHERE THE HANDSOME GOD OF WISDOM IS!**_

Nabu. He's sexy.

_**8. Yay.**_

Yep.

_**10. Can you ask Anubis if he'll play fetch with me? It'll be fuuuuuuun. I have**__**  
><strong>__**that little doggie toy thingy and a bone! WE CAN BE BFFBS!**_

That actually sounds like fun…

_**11. I DO NOT have an LMFAO song as my pen-name! IT WAS INSPIRED BY AN LMFAO**__**  
><strong>__**SONG!**_

Inspired by an LMFAO song…never thought I'd hear that before.

_***cries* STOP BEING MEAN! GO EAT CHOCOLATE!**_

No and sure.

…

From _Loki_.

_**What kind of relationship do Thanatos and Anubis have?**_

They get along okay, but they don't speak to each other that much.

_**Are you**____**friends with Odin since your both gods of wisdom?**_

Yeah, we get along.

_**Who is older, Ptah or**____**the Greek god Chaos?**_

Chaos.

…

From _Fenrir the Vicious._

_**Why would an egyptain demigod have a lower survival rate than a greek one?**___

Egyptian gods need a host to survive in the human world (unless they decide to create a human form, like me), but that need is passed down to the child. Unfortunately, the demigod can't have a host so it is more vulnerable to diseases and birth defects. There's more to it, but I'm teaching a class on the history of sexuality and Egyptian deities, where I go into more detail.

_**Also would child of sekhmet be able to tun into some bull/lion hybird monster**____**since hathor and sekhmet are basicly the same goddess?**___

No, but they may have bipolar disorder.

_**Could an egyptain demigod change into there parents animal form?**_

No, but they can summon that animal. Again, this is all hypothetical because I have yet to find out about an Egyptian demigod.

_**What do you have aginst the pedojackel?**_

Because that's exactly what he is: a pedophile and a jackal. I can't understand this mentality; I would never be in a relationship with a mortal woman, especially a 13-year-old.

_**If the greek god are frat boys with too much power,the norse gods are like**_

_**drunking abusive fathers then what about the aztec and asian gods what are**_

_**they like?**_

Aztec gods are like sadists due to the blood thing (but they are nice once you get to know them). And it really depends about which Asian gods you are talking about. The Japanese gods are kind of like a more toned-down version of the Greek gods (but then again, it depends which ones), the Hindu gods can act a little weird, but they're also pretty good (if you're reading this Kali, I'm sorry!), and I don't know the Chinese gods very well, but they seem pretty nice.

_**Are greek and roman demigods evenly matched with magicians interms of combat?**_

Well Greek/Roman fighting styles are vastly different from Egyptian styles, but overall, I guess so.

_**Are or were the epgytain pantheons more powerful than the greek and roman**__**  
><strong>__**pantheon?**_

Egyptian. Because I was in it.

_**Does the extremly powerful and homicidle god called yaweh thats worshipped by**__**  
><strong>__**christains jews and muslums really exisit? If so should every god mortal and**__**  
><strong>__**monster fear for there lives?**_

Oh boy. The controversial subject of modern gods. Let's just say that every god sticks to their people. Aztecs aren't slaughtering the Japanese, the Egyptian gods aren't killing the Greeks. Sure people from other cultures can kill each other, but the gods can't do it themselves.

_**There are a hell of alot culture that have giant snakes in there legends like**__**  
><strong>__**the aztecs with QUETZALCOATL and the norse with JORMUNGAND could they and**__**  
><strong>__**aphophis be the same being?**___

Well they are similar, but they are not the same.

_**What would happen to the universe if all cultures and gods collied in one**__**  
><strong>__**great war?**_

Uh…Boom?

…

From _Princess Celeste._

_**Thanks for answering my questions last time so... HERE I AM AGAIN!**_

Yay!

_**1. Have you watched "The Avengers"?**_

Which one? The 2012 movie isn't out yet, the British TV show (and movie based on it) was okay, I'm not a fan of the 1999 animated series, and the 2010 series is actually very good.

_**2. Do you like LEGO?**_

It's fun to make famous monuments with them.

_**3. Do you read manga?**_

Sometimes.

_**4. Do you like the Ichihime couple from Bleach? Or are you an Ichiruki fan...**__**  
><strong>__**-_-**_

I'm not very familiar with Bleach.

_**5. Are you a fan of One Direction? (Please answer too Fish!) I am a big fan of**__**  
><strong>__**them!**_

They're…okay? Fish, answer.

**Fish: I grew up during the boy bands craze of the 90's and early 2000's and One Direction is very similar to the Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync. So basically, I don't think they're anything new, but that doesn't make them bad. I wasn't one of those people who **_**hated**_** the boy bands.**

_**6. Who would win in a battle between Annabeth and Reyna?**_

Cat fight! It would be a long fight, but the odds are in favour to both of them.

_**7. Who deserves Jason? Piper or Reyna?**_

I really don't like getting involved in these things, but logically I'm going to have to go with Reyna.

_**8. If you would date any anime character, who would it be?**_

The Great Will of the Macrocosm from Excel Saga and Celty from Durarara are pretty hot.

_**9. Which is a better long range weapon, a bow and arrow, or a lightweight**__**  
><strong>__**catapult?**_

You mean a sling shot? Personally, I prefer a bow and an arrow.

_**10. What do you think of Katniss Everdeen?**_

She's a strong and likeable character.

**Fish: She was hot in the movie.**

Quiet! (Though she was…).

_**11. Do you like the song "Life"? It's ending song 5 on Bleach?**_

It's pretty good.

_**12. In your opinion, how addicted am I to Ichihime?**_

You don't seem that addicted.

…

From Ma'at_._

_**What? You don't like LMFAO? They're awesome! Are you judging my music**__**  
><strong>__**taste?**_

I'm not a fan, but let's not discuss our music tastes.

_**Yes, I (sometimes) forget how many years we've been married for.**_

Don't worry. I know it's been a while since you've been in a mortal form.

_**P.S. Why did you let some random stalker kidnap you? You're a god, for Ra's**__**  
><strong>__**sake! Are you safe in there?**_

I didn't let her kidnap me, but I wasn't going to hurt her. And let me assure you, dear, I am still loyal to you and Fish is not only in a relationship, but she's also gay.

**Fish: RAINBOW!**

And she's missing too many brain cells for me to ever be interested in her. Ma'at, you're still the only one for me.

**Fish: What about your other wives?**

Those were arranged marriages.

_**P.P.S. I'm supposed to tell you something right now. I forgot though.**_

Don't worry, love. I understand.

_**P.P.P.S Oh yeah! When we meet again, be prepared to have some coffee thrown at**__**  
><strong>__**you.**_

Sweetie? Why would you throw coffee at me? Did I upset you, love?

_**P.P.P.P.S Are you getting tired of the P.S's?**_

You can put as many p's and s's as you want, dear.

**Fish: Teehee…that sounded dirty.**

Quiet!

_**Oh, well. That's all from me now, hon.**___

I hope to hear from you again. :)

_**Keep being a nerd!**_

I'll be sure to.

**Fish: I'm getting the creeping suspicion that this is actually **_**CrazyAndIKnowIt**_**…**

Please let me believe I'm speaking to my wife for the first time in almost 300 years, please.


	17. Chapter 17

Okay, let's get started.

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**1. The ceiling is up at the moment. And a random piece of fabric I tied to my**__**  
><strong>__**ceiling.**_

You managed to tie a piece of cloth to a flat surface? Nice!

_**2. Life being swell is good.**_

A swell life is a nice life.

_**3. As far as you know, can highlighters glow in the dark if you put them in a**__**  
><strong>__**glass of water?**_

I want to try that now…

_**4. Mechanical pencils are awesome.**_

You know it!

_**5. Windows 7 is also awesome. :D**_

Yeah!

_**6. What is your opinion on uranium mining near the Grand Canyon?**_

I am strongly against it.

_**Bye!**__****_

_**~Different**_

Bye!

…

From _Anubis is mine SADIE KANE_.

_**Did you know that this is actually my pretty kitty7? I wanted to try a new**__**  
><strong>__**name what do you think of it?**_

It's…interesting…

_**Do you like marshal arts?**_

I used to study martial arts a lot.

_**Did you know that I have a black belt?**_

Really? Which type of martial arts?

_**Is it weird that I'm allergic to condoms? ( it's the rubber in them)**_

Well it's a pretty common allergy. There are other methods of birth control, but condoms have the best protection from pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

_**What is you favorite fruit?**_

Pomegranates.

_**What is you favorite kind of dogs?**_

Border collies or pugs.

_**Do you like Lynxes?**_

I like them.

_**Do you like alaska?**_

I've only been once, but it's a beautiful state.

_**Do you know that in alaska we still have almost a foot of snow?**_

Damn. I've never lived in a place that gets more than two inches of snow.

_**Guess what?**_

Chicken butt?

_**My birthday is on may the 4th!**_

Star Wars, hell yeah! Mine is on…January 1st…can't do much with that.

_**I'm getting a fileing cabnent!**_

Aim high, sister.

_**Do you think that it's possible that someone can host a Greek god?**_

I doubt it; the Greek gods don't really need hosts.

…

From _Princess Celeste_.

_**1. I watched The Avengers movie and it's awesome! Back to my question, what do**__**  
><strong>__**you think of Hawkeye and Black Widow as a pairing?**_

I guess it makes sense, but I'm not a fan. Actually, I'm not really a fan of any pairings.

_**2. You think Bleach ending song 5 was cool? It's my ringtone! I'm weird...**__**  
><strong>__**Also, Sadie or Zia?**_

I would probably get along with Zia easier, but Sadie and I are slightly more similar and we use the same type of magic. Honestly, I don't know how to answer this question.

_**3. I am VERY addicted to Ichihime thank you very much! Who's the best singer**__**  
><strong>__**of 2012 in your opinion?**_

I'll stick with mainstream artists who are popular in America so I don't confuse anyone. Lady Gaga, Adele, Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine, Bruno Mars (not a fan of his music, but he's a good musician), and…that's it. Not the best age for mainstream artists who actually sing.

_**4. Which is better, K-pop, or J-pop? Or do you like OPM?**_

I'm going to have to say K-pop or else Fish will probably hurt me.

_**5. Do you like ginger ale?**_

Depends which brand. Some brands I adore, but some are just meh.

_**6. Does Khonsu have a personal insecurity?**_

Yes. He's always been insecure about his_

**Fish: Ahem!**

…Weird silver eyes.

_**7. Is my grammar correct? Please check my fanfics too. I'm worried. :(**_

Nothing too severe grammar-wise. As for your stories, I recommend adding a bit more detail to them.

_**8. Takoyaki or Fish balls?**_

**Fish: Fish what?**

It's a food. Anyway, I'm not a fan of anything with tentacles so…fish balls.

**Fish: *glares***

_**9. How's Felix?**_

Penguin-y.

_**10. Who's smarter, you or Isis?**_

Me, duh.

_**That's all for now! Sorry for the inconvenience!**_

Don't worry, hon. You're not an inconvenience.

…

From _gingerroot15_.

_**Long time no see, eh? ... Meh, you're probably not happy to have me back. At**__**  
><strong>__**least I'm sane...**_

I'm always happy to answer questions, don't worry.

_**How do you convince parents to get you an electronic device that has Internet**__**  
><strong>__**connection? My parents refuse to get me one despite my pleads, multiple wishes**__**  
><strong>__**for Christmas and birthdays, and offers to pay for half.**_

Perhaps it's more of a trust thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that your parents don't trust you, but show them that they can trust you more with internet access than most parents would. Don't continue to beg them (that hardly ever works), but try helping out around the house or show that you are more mature than the teenagers who get internet and then they do nothing but chat on Facebook.

_**Are you on Pottermore? If so, what's your username and House?**_

Fish and I are both Ravenclaws. My name is PotionDust12696 and Fish is SkyGlow14887.

_**Team Peeta or Team Gale?**_

I was already asked this, but I didn't really answer it because I suck. Anyway, I am really bad with these pairing questions because I never support pairings. On that note, if I had to choose I would go with Gale.

_**If Bast were to walk up and smack you with no reason, what would you do?**_

Four words: Army of Vicious Dogs.

…

From _Fenrir the Vicious_.

_**Lord Thoth**__****_

_**Would you and the magicians atempt at creating a demigod that was purely**__**  
><strong>__**sekhmets child with out hathors influnce with one unlucky magician if things**__**  
><strong>__**got desperate and the ** was about to hit the fan?**_

Maybe, but that's only if a magician is willing to spend their one-summoning-of-Sekhmet card just to have sex with her and produce a kid.

_**Are you still ** of at the romans for you know nearly destorying your**__**  
><strong>__**civilization?**_

Of course I'm a little angry at the situation, but I am still a huge fan of Roman culture, so I can't get too mad.

_**Could you make me a god so that I can help protect lord Ra during his nightly**__**  
><strong>__**visits to the underworld?**_

I can't _make_ you a god. Unfortunately, Egyptian gods can't make mortals gods.

_**You said that an egyptain demigod wouldnt survive because like their divine**__**  
><strong>__**parent they would need a host but if the divine parent had its own body like**__**  
><strong>__**you would it be able to sire a child without said child needing a host since**__**  
><strong>__**it would have a mortal body from its human parent and the ichor in it blood**__**  
><strong>__**would protect it from sickness?**_

The child would be able to survive without a host, but it will still attract even more monsters than the average Greek or Roman demigod.

_**The greeks use celestial bronze the romans use imperal gold what metals do the**__**  
><strong>__**egyptians use for their magical weapons?**_

Copper, bronze, iron. The metal usually had a spell on it to make it all magical and stuff.

_**Do you think that you could servive a life time as a mortal?**_

Probably, but it would go by too fast.

_**Can you run at the speed of thought?**_

Whose thoughts? Stephen Hawking? If I ran _really_ fast. Snookie? Ha! That's how fast I walk…when drunk.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**Have you ever played the mass effect series?**_

Only a little bit.

_**If so, Renegade or Paragon?**_

Paragon. It just seems to fit me a bit better,

_**How do you feel about ME3's ending?**_

I was a bit disappointed and it left me just saying "whaaaat?"

…

From _Laylaenchantix101_.

_**Sorry I didn't review! My teacher made me get off before I could send**__**  
><strong>__**it...stupid school rules...**_

Well school is more important than talking to me.

_**Okay, now for the questions~**__****_

_**CONTINUED FROM LAST TIME:**__****_

_**11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?**_

If I have to walk a lot.

_**12: Have you ever peed in the woods?**_

I can explain!

_**13: What about pooped in the woods?**_

Nope.

_**14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?**_

Sometimes I do if I have a song stuck in my head.

_**15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?**_

I used to have a really bad habit of doing this, but not I just take my pens apart and put them back together.

_**16: How many places have you been to?**_

Far too many to count, sorry.

_**17: What size is your bed?**_

I sleep on Fish's couch.

_**18: What is your song of the week?**_

Candy Shop by Andrew Bird.

_**I cant do any more. Soccer. Peace!**_

Okay. Good luck with soccer.

…

From _WB_

_**I know most of you probably aren't going to read this, but next week I turn**_

_**7, and I want to become a Walrus. I know there's a million people out there**_

_**just like me, but I promise you I'm different.**_

Uh…Okay…define "different".

_**On May 1st, I'm moving to Antarctica (home of the greatest Walruses). I've**__**  
><strong>__**already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as**__**  
><strong>__**training. I may**_ _**not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a**__**  
><strong>__**chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest Walrus.**_

Uh…

**Fish: Wait! This makes perfect sense!**

…acid?

**Fish: No! You see, my brother calls himself "Walrus" and he is obsessed with walruses. Which means, my brother and this person come from the same clan or something!**

Your brother calls himself "Walrus"?

**Fish: It runs in the family.**

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**hiya.**__****_

_**1 - You hate me, don't you?**_

I don't hate people I only know over the internet.

_**2 - Are you bored right now? ('Cuz I am)**_

Yeah, I'm pretty bored.

_**3 - Blech. I HATE chocolate. And anything that has chocolate in it. I don't**__**  
><strong>__**have the ability to like chocolate, (not) sorry.**_

Okay…sorry?

_**4 - Where does Fish get her great stalking skills?**_

Fish was a mighty huntress who had to stalk the wild instant ramen noodles in the jungle in order to survive.

_**5 - Did the color Pink ever represent something in the ancient world? (It's**__**  
><strong>__**SUCH a girly color, I'm not sure if it was even an important color back THEN.**__**  
><strong>__**Like, really back.)**_

What colour do you get if you get blood on a white piece of fabric and you try to wash it out? Here's a hint: it's not blue.

_**6. I just realized that the last question was actually a SERIOUS one. Since**__**  
><strong>__**when was I serious?**_

Only time will tell…*spooky noises*

_**7. I'm not feeling it today. *sulks***_

You okay?

_**Also, I am not "Ma'at". I'm not pretending to be her, idiots. HOWEVER, she**__**  
><strong>__**DOES have good music taste. So stop criticizing, Thoth.**_

One: that was Fish's theory. Two: Still not a fan of LMFAO. Sorry.

_***leaves feeling depressed***_

Uh…bye.

…

From…there is no username…okay.

_**Hi. I just spent around five minutes trying to get Caps Lock to work...I**__**  
><strong>__**swear my baby cousin messed up my laptop. He likes to play with electronic**__**  
><strong>__**things (and break them). So I tried to teach him how to play my DS, and I was**__**  
><strong>__**teaching him how to play Mario Kart. And, by himself, he got 5th place! I'M A**__**  
><strong>__**GOOD TEACHER! GOOD FOR MY COUSIN! He's turning two in fall...And he didn't**__**  
><strong>__**break my DS! It's impressive.**_

Your cousin sounds amazing.

_**Ahem. ANYWAYS, I don't really have that much questions...**__****_

_**1. Do you have any idea about Canada's psychotic winter this year? It's**__**  
><strong>__**perfectly fine if you don't, and if you don't know about it, the winter should**__**  
><strong>__**NOT be considered winter. And it snowed day before yesterday...Not that much,**__**  
><strong>__**but it did. I guess it's all global warming's fault...**_

I heard that winter is actually shifting, but I don't know. After living in the south for a while, I almost forgot what cold is like.

_**2. On the term of global warming, is it true that when a volcano erupts, the**__**  
><strong>__**Earth cools down a bit? I mean, there's a chemical or something that does**__**  
><strong>__**it...**_

Well, it's mostly the ash and smoke blocking the sun for a moment, but it doesn't seriously damage the earth's climate.

_**3. Do you like Pokemon? I do, it's like part of my childhood...Actually, I**__**  
><strong>__**still consider myself in my childhood. I'm barely a teenager...You know what**__**  
><strong>__**else was part of my childhood? TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! And Land Before**__**  
><strong>__**Time. And Sonic the Hedgehog. Actually, I still love all those things...**_

I'm still surprised that Fish NEVER SAW A SINGLE EPISODE OF POKEMON!

**Fish: I said I was sorry!**

No excuses! How could you not have seen it? I'm a god and even I watched the entire series (minus the new stuff).

**Fish: I was too busy being raised on Sailor Moon. Sorry.**

_**4. My friend has a crush on someone, and she sorta talks about him. A lot. Way**__**  
><strong>__**too much. WAY TOO MUCH. I told her to shut up, but she won't. I even asked**__**  
><strong>__**nicely. So now I call her by her crush's last name. And she doesn't seem**__**  
><strong>__**bothered by it. I really don't know how to annoy her anymore...Geez, WHAT is**__**  
><strong>__**up with some preteen girls and crushes? They don't have to talk about**__**  
><strong>__**it...Even though I'm a preteen girl myself...**_

If you still want to annoy her, don't bring him up. Just don't mention the guy's name and if she does, change the subject. To answer your other question, the preteen era is a time when new chemicals are being introduced into the body. These physical, mental, and sexual changes often result in, what I can only describe as, eccentric behavior.

_**5. What do you think of me, based on these reviews/questions/whatnot?**_

You have a good head on your shoulders and you had a nice childhood in the media department. Unlike _some people_…

**Fish: Sorry.**

_**6. I think it's kinda sad I don't own a Sharpie...Do you? Think it's sad, I**__**  
><strong>__**mean.**_

Well Sharpies are very useful. It's good to have one or some other type of marker lying around.

_**I think I'll try to teach my cousin how to play Xbox...Nah, too risky...**_

Just don't introduce your cousin to Xbox live; there are already enough kids on that.

_**You know what sucks? Learning math in French. I mean, you learn the language**__**  
><strong>__**and everything, but you don't know the English words too well. And the**__**  
><strong>__**really-important-test-at-the-end-of-the-year-which-I-cannot-fail (not that I**__**  
><strong>__**fail tests...) is coming up and I should be studying.**_

Well…_bonne chance_.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**You missed my questions ):**_

I did?

**Fish: Well they asked some questions earlier in this so…I don't know.**

_**Anyway, do you ever nerd rage?**_

I used to have a very bad habit of doing so.

_**Do you block the jerks on multiplayer games, or do you incinerate them? (I**__**  
><strong>__**don't know, I'm bored)**_

I block or mute them. Usually I mute them because it's funnier that way.

_**Finally, if you maried Ma'at, does that mean I can date the physical**__**  
><strong>__**embodiment of chaos?**_

I guess so, but divorce would be a real bitch.

…

From _Greek-Athena_.

_**Why can't Anubis and Sadie be a couple? I REALLY want them to be! (I haven't**__**  
><strong>__**fifnished the Serpent's Shadow)**_

1. Age difference.

2. Gods and mortals hardly end up well together.

3. Anubis doesn't actually look like that; he's either a jackal-headed man or a creepy human who likes to cut up bodies. Either way, Sadie is hallucinating.

4. Anubis is married…to himself. Ladies, do you really want to be with someone who loves themselves _that_ much?

…

From _Ma'at_.

_**WHY DO YOU THINK I'M CrazyAndIKnowIt? I'M MA'AT, DANMIT!**_

Calm down, dear. Once again, that was Fish's theory.

**Fish: Just throw me under the bus, thanks.**

But it's true!

_***Throws coffee at you***_

How did you do that through the computer…I'm confused now.

_**Quick, I was locked in a tower(like a princess) because of would you**__**  
><strong>__**do?**_

_**Love, Ma'at**_

I would save you. Even though you threw coffee at me, you're still my wife and I love you.

_**P.S Fish, does Thoth has his stuffed teddy bear? I gave it to him when I was**__**  
><strong>__**last human :)**_

**Fish: Yes. Yes he does.**

It's a gift from my wife; I'm not embarrassed about it.

_**P.P.S Okay then,what's your music taste then?**_

Uh…blues, jazz, classical music, etc. Fish introduced me to Andrew Bird and he's pretty cool

_**P.P.S I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG BABY! I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG BABY! I**__**  
><strong>__**LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG BABY, AND I KEEP REPEA- Wait, are you actually**__**  
><strong>__**listening to this? *EmbarassedFace***_

Well. Since we're casually talking in song lyrics: "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you; remember I'll always be true. And when I'm away, I'll write home every day, and I'll send all my loving to you." Can't go wrong with the Beatles.

…

From _MissAce98_.

_**Hello! Have a couple of questions for you,'kay?**_

Go right ahead.

_**What would you do if I told you that Ma'at was with me right now?**_

Ma'at? Could you ask her why she threw coffee at me? I don't think I did anything to make her angry.

_**Why don't you like Nut's vanilla drink-thingy? Sounds okay to me.**_

Eh…I'm just not a fan; it's a bit too mild for my tastes.

_**"Die stillsten Worte sind es, welche den Sturm bringen. Gedanken, die mit**__**  
><strong>__**Taubenfüßen kommen, lenken die Welt."**_

_Ja. Dieses Zitat ist sehr schön_.

_**WHAT DOES IT MEAN?**_

It is a Nietzsche quote that translates to: "It is the stillest words that bring on the storm. Thoughts that come on doves' feet guide the world."

_**WOMEN USED TO STREAK AT THE FESTIVAL OF BAST? WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK? (I.e**__**  
><strong>__**Set,Horus,Anubis,Bast,you know)**_

Eh…people were pretty much half naked a lot back then. My festival did have some sex and nudity (hey, it isn't an ancient Egyptian party unless _someone_ is naked), but it mostly involved drinking.

_**I LOVE SHARPIES! Even though I only have a few, they're still awesome!**_

Wow. These reviewers go nuts over Sharpies…

_**Did you know that you are also known as the god of blues and BBQ?**_

Uh…I can't take the claim for either of those things.

_**You and Khonsu are my favorite gods in the whole series!**__****_

_**XD**__****_

_**BYE!**_

Yeah!

…


	18. Chapter 18

Okay, let's get started.

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**1. Do you enjoy knitting or crocheting or another similar craft?**_

I tried picking it up, but I got bored of it. However, I did make a bunch of sweaters for my ibises.

_**2. Is your life still swell?**_

My life is very swell, thank you.

_**3. I'm trying that [the glowing highlighter experiment] out today with my**__**  
><strong>__**science group. :D**_

Let me know what happens. :D

_**4. And they're [mechanical pencils] environmentally friendly, because they use**__**  
><strong>__**less wood.**_

Well, some people may argue that plastic isn't really good for the environment, but mechanical pencils are still awesome.

_**5. What is something you wish you had never done that you did in the past?**__**  
><strong>__**(Does this make any sense?)**_

You mean any regrets? Sure I do. To me the biggest one was during WWII and Ma'at was suffering even more. I did as much as I could, but I guess I didn't do enough.

_**6. Do you enjoy nature?**_

Gentle breezes and light rain? Yes. Hurricanes and tsunamis? Not so much.

_**Bye!**__****_

_**~Different**_

Peace.

…

From _gingerroot15_.

_**LOL. Okay, I'm LightProphecy17374.**_

Okay…so where are the other 17373 light prophecies?

_**Hm. Has Fish read the Serpent's Shadow yet?**_

**Fish: Heh heh…I skimmed it.**

You suck.

**Fish: I just skipped all of the romance and just read the action and the comedy.**

_**How long can an ibis be underwater without coming up for air?**_

I'm not sure.

**Fish: Let's find out!**

Stay away from my ibises!

_**Lemmings are basically suicidal rats, correct?**_

Not really. The idea that lemmings commit mass suicide is, in fact, incorrect. It's a long story, but basically lemmings reproduce way too much so then the food level goes down. So since there's a bunch of starving or dehydrated lemmings running around, they will do these things like falling off a cliff or drowning by accident because they are not paying attention.

…

From _xxEu-chan_.

_**I'm back...**__****_

_**What? Fish is the Yuri fan? Is this true Fish? O.O**_

**Fish: Yes. I'm a yuri fan.**

…

From _The girl who thinks too much_.

_**I find this Q and A very amusi- er, informative, Thoth, but I do have one question that's been confusing me for a while: when**____**you encouraged the House of Life to exile the gods, how did you persuade them**____**not to imprison you as well?**_

Because I taught writing and magic to the mortals. Also I'm very handsome and charismatic, if you haven't noticed by now.

_**And ok, here's another question: what do you**____**think of the way Carter and Sadie defeated Apophis?**_

Interesting, not the way I would have done it, but interesting.

_**And here's one for Fish:**____**how long do you plan to make Thoth keep doing this? Aren't you and he getting**____**tired of each other?**___

**Fish: No idea, to be honest. I probably won't do this for much longer, but I was thinking of starting an "Ask Ma'at" thing.**

Don't you dare kidnap Ma'at.

_**Ok, I've just asked three questions when I only planned**____**to ask one, so sorry! (I don't think I made any grammatical or spelling**____**errors, correct me if I'm wrong)I really hope my questions get included next**____**time!**_

I don't see anything too glaring. Bye!

…

From _Ma'at_.

_**Do you really need me to throw ANOTHER coffee at you?**_

Huh? What's wrong?

_**Anyway, I think I may have some good news. Listen up everyone.**_

**Fish: Holy crap, Ma'at is pregnant! :D**

Not another one…

_**I MIGHT have a human host soon! I can wait to walk on earthly grounds again!**____**(But I won't be taking entire control over the host, okay?)**_

Well _that's_ a relief. I can't wait to see you again! It will be just like old times except for the awkward third-party that will be stuck with us.

**Fish: You mean her host?**

No, you.

_**Also, I'm so anxious to be on earth again! I don't want to be on earth but**____**another part of me says I do want to**_.

I understand. Just go with what feels right.

_**Plus, I want to buy an iPad2! Wow, the mortals have been inventing impressive**____**stuff over the years, huh?**_

Yeah, I'm very impressed and proud.

_**AND since this is a questionnaire, I want to ask you a question, husband. And**____**answer it honestly. Remember, I am a goddess of truth and your wife.**_

Whatever you say, love.

_**What color(s) is your underwear?**_

I am slightly concerned that this is the biting question that needed an introduction for, but if you must know the answer is white. Because I'm boring.

**Fish: I expected a mini ibis pattern, or something.**

Sorry to disappoint you.

_**Love, your wife, Ma'at**__****_

_**P.P.S. Tell the truth; I will know if you're lying.**_

I assure you that I told the truth.

_**P.P.P.S. What does it feel like on Earth?**_

It's…nice. Depends where you are, I guess.

_**P.P.P.P.S. Horus is an **.**_

*Looks around nervously* I agree.

_**P.P.P.P.P.S Don't you think these P.S's are fun?**_

Yes, quite fun.

…

From _Fenrir the Vicious_.

_**lord thoth**__****_

_**Can you get me a copy of bioshock infinite?**_

Only if you get me a copy too.

_**Why would an egyptian demigod attract more monsters?**_

Because they're more rare/valuable, they have direct contact with the gods and their power, and also too much of the godly parent's power can destroy the child.

_**I heard that the sumarian gods and the civilization are the absolute oldest on**____**earth is this true?**_

Oldest recorded, yes.

_**How can geb and gaia and nut and oranous share the same bodies?**_

Geb, Gaia, Nut, and Oranous are not literally the earth or the sky, but they just use the earth and the sky as anchors for their forms.

_**How can a god go senile like lord Ra did?**_

It's very easy for a god to go insane. Lord Ra went senile because only two of his three forms were restored.

_**When will lord Ra be his old self again?**_

You see, [TSS spoiler].

_**can you defeat airman?**_

You mean the book? Not interested in defeating fictional creations, sorry.

_**Are their alien gods you know gods from differnt planets?**_

Not that I know of.

_**Can you get toonami back on air ?**_

If I could, I totally would.

_**Could lord Ra make me god when he's fully healed?**_

We can't make you a god. Sorry, but you have to be born as one. Or if you believe in reincarnation, you can hope that you are reborn as some sort of celestial deity.

_**Is bigfoot real?**_

Ah mortals…

_**If your hand is bigger than your face do you have cancer?**_

Do you really expect anyone to fall for_

**Fish: Yay! I don't have_**

*Slaps Fish's hand against her face*

…

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**Oh...Hi...You know the last review, without the username and likes Pokemon?**____**Yeah. THAT WAS ME! =) I don't know why my username didn't show up...Maybe I**____**forgot. ANYWAYS, I'm getting Pokemon FireRed! It's been so long since I played**____**that game...**_

Oh, that makes sense. Have fun with your game.

_**Okay...So, HI!**__****_

_**1. How do I get people to stop thinking that I'm afraid of spiders? I'm not.**____**Just paranoid. They crawl into my room in the night, or morning, or just**____**anytime of the day. And I can't kill them myself...I don't why, I just CAN'T.**____**Maybe it's because when I was little I was told a story about spiders saving**____**peoples' lives...I've always rather liked them...**_

…one time I was taking a shower, and a tarantula fell on my shoulder.

**Fish: Liar.**

Hey, I'm married to the goddess of truth; I can't lie.

_**2. Something's wrong with my earphones...Only the left side actually plays**____**music. Or whatever the fudge I'm listening to. Sound doesn't play AT ALL in**____**the right side. Is there a way to fix that?**_

Your headphones are broken! You can either buy a new pair, or weld the broken wires back together with a torch.

_**3. Since you didn't know it was me last time, answer this again. What do you**____**think of me based on these questions? ALL of these questions I asked...**_

Teddy bears, zombies, spider confusion, and broken headphones.

_**4. Do you like ice cream? I rather like ice cream...**_

I like ice cream, but a prefer frozen yoghurt.

**Fish: Hipster…**

_**Heh, not a lot of questions. Now, TO WORK ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT! I rather like**__**  
><strong>__**Science. My second best school subject.**__****_

_**BYE! =)**_

Okay, good luck!

…

From …_Laylaenchantix101_.

_**Sure Thoth...whatever you say...**__****_

_**19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?**_

Sure. And to expand on my point, I'm going to quote what I said on the subject last time.

"What colour do you get if you get blood on a white piece of fabric and you try to wash it out? Here's a hint: it's not blue."

_**20: Do you still watch cartoons?**_

Yeah, a lot.

_**21: What's your least favorite movie?**_

Transformers 3, Baby Geniuses, Sweet Movie, any of the movies based on books by Nicholas Sparks (except for The Notebook…maybe).

_**22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?**___

In a bank.

_**23: What do you drink with dinner?**_

Water, juice, or soda depending on how I'm feeling or what I'm having.

_**24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?**_

Mustard or vinegar.

_**25: What's your second favorite food?**_

Gyros.

_**26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?**_

Benny & Joon, Pulp Fiction, Young Frankenstein, Brazil, and the Blues Brothers. I skipped foreign films and documentaries for the sake of this question.

_**well...bye**_

Bye!

…

From _Ma'at_…again.

_**Let's do this! WOOO!**___

Yay!

_**Fish, I am sorry! Please forgive me! :)**___

**Fish: Fish forgives you. :)**

Third person, what?

_**CUZ I"M A GODESS! *Like a boss***_

*Puts on sunglasses*

_**How the Ra did Fish kidnap you?**___

It involved nutella, a pig with a ketchup bottle taped to it, and a magical unicorn named Pedro.

_**Sailor Moon reminds me of Khonsu, and you remind me of that Sailor Mercury**__**  
><strong>__**girl..O.O**___

**Fish: My fan art senses are tingling…**

Don't you dare.

_**Love Ma'at**__****_

_**P.S I like Coke better than Mountain Dew. Sorry, hon :)**___

Hey, whatever you like is fine with me.

_**P.P.S I LIKE FISHIEPONIES!**___

**Fish: *Dorky smile***

*Confused smile*

_**P.P.P.S Ignore the last comment. I was very hyper and drank a can of Monster**__**  
><strong>__**:)**_

Yeah, those things can get pretty crazy.

…

From _MissAce98_.

_**Fish, I agree with you, Sailor Moon is awesome!**_

**Fish: Hell yeah!**

_**Have you ever watched Sailor Moon?**___

Uh…no. Now I think Fish is going to force me to watch it.

**Fish: You know it.**

_**If so, who's your favorite sailor?**_

I haven't seen it so…Fish!

**Fish: Sailor Pluto; she's hot**.

And you're as shallow as ever.

_**EVERDAY I'M SHUFFLING!**___

Card dealer in Vegas?

_**You didn't awnser my last question (4)**_

I'm pretty sure I did. I translated the German quote like you asked me to.

_**Dieses Zitat ist sehr schön. IN ENGLISH PLEASE:)**_

That quote is very beautiful.

_**Ma'at says that she was mad about the whole "CrazyAndIKnowIt is Ma'at" thing**____**going she's okay about it now. She would also like to clarify that she**____**is NOT CrazyAndIKnowIt,and vice versa.**_

Oh. Well that's a relief.

_**Ma'at: I'm making her write this. Thanks for the idea,sweetie!**_

_**MissAce98: T.T :(**_

Yay! Look forward to taking to you more, dear.

…

From _Princess Celeste_.

_**HEY THOTH! HEY FISH!**_

Hey.

**Fish: *Waves like a maniac***

_**Hey Fish, please answer also the questions!**_

**Fish: Yay! I like answering questions!**

_**1. Have you ever drank Vodka mixed with a Martini and Beer? What does it taste**__**  
><strong>__**like? I don't drink...**_

Uh…that sounds like _way_ too much alcohol for me.

**Fish: No, I'm strictly a kahlúa person.**

_**2. Do you get along with Apollo?**_

He's…interesting, but we get along.

**Fish: Spends too much time without pants for my taste.**

_**3. Who would win in a battle between Percy and Carter?**_

Hard to say. They are both good in some areas, but not so good in others. And due to their direct connections with powerful gods, I'd hate to see what happens if either of them loses.

**Fish: Uh…what he said.**

_**4. What's your favorite Boyzone song? My family is addicted to them.**_

I never really listened to them, so I can't say.

**Fish: I'm not really a boy band fan (I was raised in the dreaded 'boy band era').**

_**5. What's your favorite bag brand? Please answer too, Fish.**_

I don't know. Duluth Pack had some very sexy-looking book bags, though.

**Fish: Cheetos.**

I don't think that's what she…whatever.

_**6. Who would win in a fight between Isis and Athena?**_

*Looks around nervously* Isis.

**Fish: Coward. I'm going with Athena. I mean, what's the worst that can_ *Deep fried***

_**7. Seafood Ramen or... FISH FILLET!**_

Uh…*Looks at deep-fried Fish* I'm skipping this one.

_**8. Shark or whale?**_

Whales.

**Fish: *Reformed* Sharks!**

_**9. 39 Clues or Bridge To Terabithia?**_

Bridge to Terabithia.

**Fish: I have to agree.**

_**10. Celine Dion or Lady Gaga?**_

Celine Dion.

**Fish: Lady Gaga**.

_**11. Bald or Mohawk?**_

Bald.

**Fish: Depends on whom.**

There is no depends. Mohawks look silly.

_**12. "Sorry For Party Rockin" or "I'm Sexy and I Know It"? You can't say**__**  
><strong>__**neither!**_

Uh…uh…Sorry for Pary Rockin'. Sexy and I Know It had an annoying unending beat that never changed and that got really irritating.

**Fish: I agree**.

_**13. Avengers or X-Men?**_

Avengers.

**Fish: X-Men**.

_**14. Cinderella or Aurora?**_

Uh…they're both so passive…

**Fish: I'm going with Aurora. She had the excuse of being asleep throughout most of the film.**

Yeah, that makes sense.

_**15. Aurora Borealis or Aurora Australis?**_

Australis.

**Fish: Borealis**.

Okay, now you're just trying to disagree.

_**16. How's Cleo?**_

Great. She's been improving rapidly.

_**17. Do you like the Philippines? If yes, why?**_

Culture.

**Fish: Food.**

_**18. Are my questions a bit insane?**_

Not really.

_**19. Are you tired of answering my questions?**_

Not really.

**Fish: Not yet.**

_**Sorry for bothering you! Sayonara!**_

さようなら

**Fish: **_**La Revedere!**_

…

From _thunder guy_.

_**okay bro or thoth guy um so i,ll drift to sets vocie for a while still having trouble controlling him as a host but me and him have one goal takover the world with...Toasters maaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaa!**_

Set…have you started smoking pot…again?

…

From _UAreAStalkerIfUAreReadingThis_.

_**Ey yo' wazzup, Thoth?**_

Nothing much. Just marshmallows and orange juice; the dinner of champions.

_**1...Is it true that masturbation is healthy for people?**_

Studies show that frequent ejaculations _can_ (key word: can) reduce the risk of prostate cancer and it is good to flush out hazardous chemicals that may build up in the body. However, people (obviously I'm talking about men) who masturbate too much may have trouble ejaculating during sex.

On the subject of women, obviously women don't have to worry about ejaculation or prostate cancer, but it is shown that female masturbation can relieve pain, so there's that.

**Fish: Did it really take two paragraphs to talk about people touching themselves? What if you get reported?**

Of course it takes two paragraphs! And this can't be reported; it's scientific!

_**2...When someone says "Do me!", is that supposed to be taken sexually?**_

It's all about context. For example, if someone if testing a bunch of people on what type of Pokemon they are and you want to take the test next, saying "do me" shouldn't be taken sexually. However, if an extremely handsome man in a lab coat is leaning seductively on a chair, playing the guitar, it's only a natural response to say it sexually.

**Fish: …I have no words…**

I am amazing!

_**3... Have you heard Justin Bieber's new single, Boyfriend? His voice has changed so DAMN much...**_

Sex, masturbation, and Justin Bieber. Three subjects I never would have thought I'd talk about together. To answer your question, the song came on the radio the other day and I switched it because it was so annoying.

_**4... Talking about JB, why are his fans (Beliebers) so annoying?**_

Any serious, die-hard fan is annoying. I knew some Beatles fans who were pretty obnoxious, but at least they had the excuse of being obsessed with a good artist.

_**5... Are you really such a bad husband that your wife has to virtually throw coffee at you?**_

I'll assure you that I do my best to be the best husband I could possibly be, often putting what she wants and needs over my own, but I still have no idea why she's virtually throwing coffee at me.

_**6... If you could wish for something right now, what would it be?**_

A world free of ignorance and stupidity. A Frappuccino sounds pretty nice, though.

_**7...What are you going to be doing on July 27, 2068?**_

We'll just wait 56 years and find out.

_**8..."Reading is stupid"**___

*Adjusts glasses*

_**9... I didn't really mean that last quote...**_

Good, because I'm not usually a fan of murder.

_**10... When is World War 3 going to happen? (Sorry, I just love war, even if it means deaths of millions of people.)**_

Personally, I hope there isn't one. As someone who lived through two world wars, watched millions die, saw civilizations collapse, and watched their own wife nearly die from all of the chaos, it's not very fun.

_**Have a tragically awesome day, okay?**__****_

_**-UAreAStalkerIfUAreReadingThis**_

Tragically awesome…I need to use that.

…

From _catninja_.

_**Hey lord Thoth i have some cat related questions**_

Oh goodie…cats…love cats…

_**1. since you hate bast do you hate cats (if you do i will rage)**_

I don't hate Bast, we just had a really bad couple of dates. And I'm leaving it at that. (This was before I was married to Ma'at.)

_**2. is there a lion god because i only know about the lioness goddesses**___

Well, there was Maahes.

_**3. would you ever become friends with bast**_

Sure, but we clash a bit too much.

_**4. since your sacred animal is a type of bird are you afriad of cats**_

They just…bother me a bit.

…

From _egyptianprincesschild-of-Nyx5_.

_**Hi, Thoth. I'm curious.**__****_

_**Number one:How do you not know who Zoe Nightshade is?(She's my favorite person who died in the Percy Jackson series-I mean Greek mythology!And she's a hunter of Artemis. Daughter of Atlas who is one of the titans and some water goddess. An exiled Hesperide.)**_

I'm sorry, but even though I know all of the gods, I stick to knowing about Egyptian heroes.

_**Number two: Do you like her?**_

She seems respectable.

_**Number three: Would you cheat on Ma'at if you were ordered to by Horus?**_

Well Horus is a jerk sometimes and I am loyal to my wife so, no. Absolutely not.

_**Number three: Have the gods played truth or dare?**___

Funny story. I was staying over at Khonsu's house and we decided to make fun of the Truth or Dare game. So we just made up the most ridiculous questions and answers for truths and it was pretty fun. However, later on it actually became sincere and we began sharing things we've never shared before; we actually started crying. Weird, yes, but I still find it funny.

_**Number four: What's your problem?**_

Do you have an hour? Because this will take a while.

_**Number five: Do you have a crush on me?**_

No. Sorry.

_**Number six: Do you want me to call you Lord Thoth?**_

Sure, go ahead.

_**Number seven: What's my actual name?**_

Uh… Rasputin.

**Fish: Aww yeah!**

_**Number one **_[eight]_**: Do you get annoyed when I call you a myth?**_

What are you talking about?

_**Number two **_[nine]**:**_** Have you got any feelings about being a character?**_

Uh…hey look, another question.

_**Number three **_[ten]_**:Have you read Divergent?(Best book ever! The sequel came out last week.*secret fangirl squeal* You didn't hear that, right?)**___

Ah…sequels. Hope you enjoy it.

_**Number four **_[eleven]_**: Are you stupid?**_

If I were braindead, I wouldn't be the god of wisdom (between you and me, all of the braindead gods become war deities).

…

From _IKilledFang_.

_**thoth,**____****_

_**do you prefer boxers or breifs?**_

So many questions about my undergarments…if you must know, I prefer boxers for just lounging around and briefs if I have to move a lot.

_**I am Bast's daughter and Anubis' sister!:)**_

Wait…yeah, that makes sense considering that Anubis is believed to be Bast's son in some myths.

…

From _Seshat_.

_**Hello, dearest brother/husband/friend!:D**_

Seshat? It's been so long dear, sister/wife/friend! :)

_**It's me, Seshat, - I, uh, just managed to find this. :) And I thought 'How well would it be if I can communicate with Thoth again? Even if it's on the Internet...It'd almost be like old times!'**_

This is wonderful! I'm glad you're taking the time to talk to me.

_**1. Thoth, are you still the cheesy, nerd, guy (or god) I know from long ago?**_

Of course I am.

_**2. Since when was the modern PEN invented? I mean, it's awesome, don't you think? Much more comfortable than a feather...**_

The first versions of the modern pen were invented in the early 20th century, but they were pretty different. I agree, though, pens are awesome.

_**3. I haven't written anything for such a long time now...I've been slacking off by reading only. :/ Do you think I should write something? You can be my editor...**_

I would love to! But you invented writing, so I doubt you would need any help.

_**4. Ma'at listens to LMFAO...? Why...?**_

I don't know, but she is your mother/sister/friend, so we should respect her tastes.

_**I wish I could come up with some more questions. Sadly, I have nothing. :( Maybe I'll have more next time.**_

Okay, I can't wait to hear from you again.

_**By the way, do not criticize me for any mistakes/typos on this review. I'm trying to type this quickly.**___

Don't worry, I understand.

_**Also, do not judge me for the amount of emoticons I typed on here. I just saw them while I was stalking an internet conversation (Do not ask me about that) and I started using them too. I like them. :-)**_

They have a charm, yes.

_**Bye, Thoth. I hope to hear from you soon! (And your... friend, Fish)**_

**Fish: Bye, Seshat! You're my favourite goddess!**

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**This is NOT CrazyAndIKnowIt. This is a HACKER. I just HACKED CrazyAndIKnowIt's account**_

Uh…okay.

_**1. hackers are super awesome, right**_

Depends on whom.

_**2. oMg. did you like hear about the party this Friday?**_

Yes, it's called getting Fish to study for her finals!

**Fish: Ha! Good luck.**

_**3. yeah yeah keep blabbing that stupid mouth**_

Hey, my mouth is very intelligent, thank you,

_**- hacker**_

…

From _egyptianprincesschild-of-Nyx5_.

_**Hi, Honey.**__****_

_**Did you think that was weird? I'll tell you why I called you honey. Ma'at made me!**_

Ma'at…how many people are you living with currently? Just curious.

_**Hi, Darling. It's me, The person who is hosting Ma'at, remember me?**___

Okay, but who is calling me "darling"?

_**By the way, Her favorite drink is Cool-Aid.**___

Okay…good to know.

_**Do the Egyptian Gods eat Ambrosia and drink Nectar?**_

No, we have lettuce.

_**Do you feel weird when people call you a myth. Ma'at does.**___

I know, what's the deal with that?_****_

_**Love you, Ma;at**_

Love you too, Thoth.


	19. Chapter 19

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hello.**__****_

_**Did those ibises like the sweaters?**_

Well, it was difficult to get the ibises to wear them.

_**The only highlighter that really glowed was the yellow one under the**__**  
><strong>__**blacklight.**_

So the rest didn't work?

_**True, plastic isn't all that good...but it uses less to make them.**_

Good point and I still like mechanical pencils a lot more.

_**Aww. :( At least you know you tried. That reminded me of a Coldplay song:**__**  
><strong>__**"When you try your best but you don't succeed."**_

Never thought of comparing it to a Coldplay song. But the point is, my wife nearly died which would have caused the end of the world…as we know it.

**Fish: And I feel fine.**

R.E.M moment!

_**I like your answer. :P Yeah, hurricanes and tsunamis aren't pleasant. We're**__**  
><strong>__**covering natural disasters in science class, and they're very destructive.**_

Ever heard of the flaming tornadoes? They're pretty cool-looking.

_**Also, did you know that there is a super volcano that could erupt any time**__**  
><strong>__**underneath Yellowstone?**_

Yes, but a huge eruption will be pretty unlikely; the most activity will probably be just some lava flowing out (which can also be pretty destructive, but I digress).

_**On that cheery note, Bye!**_

Bye!

…

From _Nico's-Girlfriend-Cassy_.

_**Hello Thoth**__****_

_**You are the second coolest god ever(right behind Hermes) *hugs***_

Hermes…gah.

_**1)What is your pet peeve? Mine is when people Pronounce a mythological being's**__**  
><strong>__**name wrong.**___

That can be annoying, but most mortals don't have an accurate idea of how mythological beings' names are pronounced anyway. For example, most people think my name is pronounced like "thought" but with an extra "th" at the end. In reality, my name is pronounced like "tote" or "thothe", but it doesn't bother me too much. But my pet peeve has to be arrogance.

_**2) Do you like waffles?**_

They're just pancakes with square dents in them. So, not really.

**Fish: I don't know you**.

_**3) Do you like pancakes?**_

Yes.

_**4) Do you like French toast?**_

I love French toast.

**Fish: I really don't know you now**.

_**5) What's your favorite word?**_

Nonchalant, loathe, melancholy, and absurd.

_**6) Have you ever watched a trAck meat when it was drizzling outside? I had to**__**  
><strong>__**because I was running near the end and IT IS SO ANNOYING!**_

I've never participated in a track meet, so I wouldn't know.

_**7) How much do you like sock monkeys on a scale of 1-10?**_

4.

_**8) Have you ever read a manga before? If not, You should. If yes, Which is**__**  
><strong>__**your favorite? Mine is Shugo Chara.**___

Yes. Fish recommended Gyo, Parasyte, Franken Fran, and Ikigami. They're pretty good, actually.

_**Bye! *hugs again***__****_

_**~NGC**_

*Awkwardly gives into hug*

Bye.

…

From _Seshat_.

_**Hey, Thoth. :)**_

Hello, Sessy.

_**Just a warning: Do NOT get all**__**  
><strong>__**I'm-So-Witty-And-Sarcastic-Because-I-Was-Born-That-Way-So-Deal-With-It on me.**__**  
><strong>__**I don't want to come after you. ;(**___

Sure, sis. Whatever you say. Oh, and your priests and priestesses all converted to worshiping me. *troll face*

_**White out or red pen?**_

I prefer a red pen because then one can actually see the mistakes they made.

_**Writing (physically) or typing?**_

Editing is easier on a computer, but writing by hand has a charm to it.

_**Gee, those were some boring questions, weren't they? :-(**_

They're not too bad.

_**I'm so sorry for the lameness. Next time it'll (hopefully) be better. :)**_

Okay.

_**Bye, Thoth. I hope you aren't being so**__**  
><strong>__**I'm-So-Witty-And-Sarcastic-Because-I-Was-Born-That-Way-So-Deal-With-It.**___

Ha ha, no promises.

_**(Also, Fish, thank you. :D I don't why...But I like you better Thoth. Has he**__**  
><strong>__**been bothering you lately? He can be like that, most of the time. I'm so**__**  
><strong>__**sorry, dear. :(**_

**Fish: Thank you! :D**

At least _I _close my parenthesis.

**Fish: *bitch-slaps Thoth***

…

From _pjfan101_.

_**What would you do for a klondike bar?**_

Nothing. I don't care for them.

…

From _CrazyAndIKnowIt_.

_**Oh gods! Sorry... A real life friend hacked my account that last time. He's a**__**  
><strong>__**loser.**___

It's okay.

_**ANYWAY...HI.**__****_

_**1 - Why the hell is One Direction so freaking popular? All I'm hearing is "OMG**__**  
><strong>__**it's, like, ONE DIRECTION!" and some friends of mine have been singing One**__**  
><strong>__**Direction songs (esp. What Makes You Beautiful). I'm trying to escape these**__**  
><strong>__**Directioners. Unfortunately, I can't. Not even here. There's a bunch of adds**__**  
><strong>__**promoting this boyband. I can't escape.**___

The One Direction Infection is mostly spreading due to the preteen-teen girls who like that type of music. This is how the Beatles started except for the Beatles were, you know, good.

_**2 - How long are you planning to stay at Fish's?**_

I honestly have no idea.

_**3 - Can I steal one of your ibises?**_

Stay away from my ibises.

_**4 - How about your baboons?**_

Same!

_**5 - What would you do if I told you I was Ma'at's host? (I'm not, though, so**__**  
><strong>__**don't freak out)**_

I would be sorry for Ma'at.

_**6 - Have you and Fish ever played Truth or Dare?**_

We were joking about playing and posting the conversation on one of these things, but we decided not to.

_**ONE DIRECTION IS FUDGING ANNOYING!**_

Their fans are the annoying ones to me.

_**AND SO ARE YOU, THOTH!**_

Okay, good. I thought something happened to you for a moment.

_***has a tantrum and leaves to Crazy Planet***_

*polite wave*

…

From _Girl who thinks too much_

_**Hello again, Thoth! So, how would you have defeated Apophis? I think Sadie and Carter's way was the only solution.**_

I don't know exactly how I would have defeated him, but this is why I hardly ever fight chaos directly.

_**So Zia is/was Ra's host. (Do gods often take hosts of the opposite sex? And- this is a disturbing thought- according to Bast, what happens in the real world is mirrored in the Duat, and Carter and Zia are a couple now, so does that mean Horus and Ra...shudder!)**_

I had a female host once. She was a very nice lady.

And about the Ra/Horus thing…picture it! Let the image soak into your mind!

_**I know you don't like the Sadie/Anubis pairing, but has your opinion changed now that Walt is hosting Anubis?**_

Well Walt is going to live, so that's good. But being in a relationship with an immortal being is not a good idea.

_**Last question for now, do you know that you have a character based on you in Marvel Comics, only in their stories, you and Ra are brothers? What do you think of that (and is it true?) I love Marvel!**_

Yes, I know about it. I don't mind that they made Ra and me brothers.

…

From _pjfan101_.

_**Hey thoth!**__****_

_**1 would the greek analate u if u went to war?**___

If I were allowed to use magic, no. I would kick all of their asses. But if I had to use a sword or hand-to-hand combat, I would be destroyed.

_**2 do you want mento do somefrikin awesome magic and free you i could make fish into a real fish**_

Actually, I can do that right now.

**Fish: …glub.**

_**3 what would you dooooooooo for a klondike bar (i probly would give one to fish if she let u go**_

**Fish: (un-fished) eh…Klondite Bars are okay.**

_**4 this is for fish so are u a lesbyian u know since you said u would straight for the one guy**_

**Fish: Yes, I am a lesbian and I've been officially "out" for a year now.**

_**5 so um this is akward but im hosting you thoth so really u cannanswer aaalllllllllllllllllll of my questions**_

…I really need to keep track of my hosts.

_**and i must say percy would destroy carter because carter dosnt like most magic just his sword**___

Yeah, well. Egypt still invented geometry. *Like a boss*.

_**6 does celestial bronze work on demons and egyptiannmonster?**_

No, sorry.

…

From _gingerroot15_.

I have no idea. It's very odd.

I guess so.

_**Are you proud of yourself for lasting that long against all those demons?**_

It was tiring; no idea how I lasted that long.

_**... Okay. Lemmings are not suicidal rats. Good to know.**_

I know. That video game is now ruined for me.

_**Honestly, I really would like to find out how long an ibis can stay underwater. Will you conduct an experiment since I have no nearby ibises?**_

Uh…no. I will not hold my precious ibises under water. Even if it is for science.

…

From _egyptianprincesschild-of-Nyx5_.

_**Hi,**__****_

_**It's the girl who's hosting Ma'at again.**___

Hello dearest and girl who is hosting her.

_**Can you feel this magic in the air?**_

Should I_

**Fish: No. Don't play the smooth jazz to make this more awkward.**

_**It must've been the way my boyfriend kissed me. Does him kissing me, mean that Ma'at was cheating on you?**___

No. Fortunately, considering that I once had a married woman as a host.

_**Do you believe in love at first sight?**___

Nope. It's unrealistic and a bit childish. Now there's _lust_ at first sight, where physical characteristics indicate that you are attracted to a person, but there is no way to be in _love_ with someone just by looking at them once (unless they have everything about them printed on a t-shirt).

_**Is it true that time actually slows down when you're around people you love? By the way, Ma'at says she loves you.**___

Thanks, Ma'at. I love you too.

Anyway, for me it seems to be the opposite. I only have a limited amount of time to spend with my wife (about 100 years at a time) and when I'm with her I feel like I don't have enough time to spend with her.

_**Um...Is it normal to be self-consious in your first kiss?**_

Yes, it is completely normal. I was nervous before mine and I was a little self-conscious. Don't worry about it.

_**When did you and Ma'at first meet? Um... Sorry, Ma'at wants to go to the library to try to figure out what you think is so intresting about it.**_

Ma'at and I first met when Lord Ra announced that we were to be married. It was a little awkward at first, but I was her most loyal scribe and "servant" so we got along fine. And I would be honored if Ma'at accompanied me to the library, but I just need someone to babysit Fish.

**Fish: I'm in college, jerk.**

Yeah, but you still can't cook anything other than instant ramen so you need some supervision so you don't starve, dehydrate, or sleep deprive yourself.

_**UM... MA'AT says she decided to throw coffee at you because she doesn't like the coffee from starbucks. And to answer your question, Ma'at is partially in Five different people right now, but she's considering a girl from Paris... called Sophie Jones? Maybe you've heard of her? Ma'at developed an intrest in all of the books I've read. CONGRATS to HER!**___

Starbucks isn't _that_ bad, but I don't mind if she wants to express her anger. I never heard of Sophie Jones, but I'm interested to see what she's like. And you must have a really good taste in books.

_**Um... NOw she doesn't like pizza! UM... Can I say duck-**_

*Ducks*

**Fish: Duck?**

_***VERTually throws pizza***_

**Fish: *Smacked with pizza***

_**Sorry about that. I'll make sure we're not eating while on the computer. I actually asked her to make my worst enemy host her, also, so then she's right here, Say hi!**_

Hello. *finger wave*

_**Kayla: HI.**__****_

_**Ma'at: HI.**__****_

_**Kayla hasn't quite mastered the whole "HOSTING" thing yet. LIke, um... Please tell me how to make her to get away from the can opener? She keeps on trying to open her head...**_

Kayla, Kayla dear. It doesn't work like that. Well, you wouldn't be hosting her anymore, but that's because you'll be kind of dead.

_**Anyway, MA'at is happy right now because today is her half birthday! Did you rememeber?**_

Of course I remembered, but I couldn't get this chapter out on that day because _someone is a lazy jerk!_

**Fish: Sorry?**

_**Do you like Pizza?**_

Depends what's on it.

_**Ma'at doesn't.**_

Well, I'll be sure not to cook pizza for her any time soon.

_**Do you like birthday cake?**___

Like I said, depends what's on it.

_**Ma'at does!**_

Now I know what I'm making for her when I see her again. :)

_**Is it strange to host an Egyptian Goddess while you're a daughter of a Greek goddess?**___

Yes, it is a little strange.

_**Can I be a Fire elementalist when my mom is the goddess of night and everything cold?**___

I guess, but it may be a bit difficult. I recommend sticking with your natural, genetic talents.

_**Ma'at wants to go to Di Angelos to eat where she won't virtually hit you,(and so I can see my boyfriend, Nico DI Angelo). *WARM FUZZY FEELING***___

I don't mind if she virtually hits me with food, I just want to see her again.

_**MA'at:BYe, HOney.**__****_

_**ME:Bye, Fish. Bye, Lord Thoth.**__****_

_**KAyla: GOodbye. I don't know who you are.**__****_

_**Ma'at just left Kayla because Ma'at isn't mean, the way Kayla is.**____****_

_**BYE!**_

Bye, Ma'at. I love you.

And goodbye Kayla and…Rasputin. (sorry, still don't know what else to call you).

**Fish: Bye!**

…

From _Laylaenchantix101_.

_**What the flip...it says I submitted twice on chapter 17...Computers can be so weird.**___

Yeah, I noticed that too.

_**27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?:**_

The last person I kissed was Ma'at.

_**28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?:**___

Back when I was a child, boy scouts didn't even exist.

_**29: Would you ever do the chicken dance while wearing a speedo?:**_

I would do the dance, just not in a speedo.

_**30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?:**___

A few weeks ago, I sent a letter to Khonsu, just for the heck of it. A few minutes later, I got an email that said "wow. Thanks for the letter, grandpa." I don't know if he called me that because I'm actually his grandfather, or if he's just being mean.

_**31: Can you change the oil on a car?:**___

Yep.

_**32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?:**___

I can explain.

_**33: Ever ran out of gas?:**___

Yes.

_**34: Favorite kind of sandwich?:**___

Chicken and avocado.

_**36: What is your usual bedtime?:**___

9:00…am.

_**37: Are you lazy?:**___

I often find that I work really hard on personal projects, but not on "important things".

_**38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?:**_

Didn't have Halloween when I was a kid.

_**39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?:**___

I _really_ don't want to calculate this.

_**40:How many languages can you speak?:**___

I can speak a little bit in just about every language, but I'm only completely fluent in a few (I just have to be exposed to the language for a little bit to completely learn it).

_**41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?:**___

Yes, but I never read them.

_**42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?:**___

LEGOS ALL THE WAY!

_**43: Are you stubborn?:**___

I can if I want to be.

_**I'm out, ya'll! PEACE! And have a muffin! -gives muffin to Thoth and Fish-**_

Well see you!

…

From _N_.

_**Does Anubis enjoy Sharpies?**_

I'm not sure.

_**Have you ever gotten high off Sharpies?**_

Once. Never again.

_**Do you enjoy auto correct on Ipods and other Apple devices?**_

Yes, but I'm not a heavy user.

_**Do you like One Direction? (Liam is mine)**_

Eh…skipping.

_**Do you or any of the other gods secretley think Horus is gay?**_

Not really. We already know a few are, though.

_**Have you ever watched Death Note? ( L AND NEAR ARE MINE)**_

How many men do you own? Anyway, I read and watched a bit of Death Note. It's pretty good.

…


	20. Chapter 20

From _Metal Star Tiger_.

_**HIYA! GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT?**_

No decaf today?

_**IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! *throws confetti in the air***_

Well I sure answered these questions a bit too late. Happy (belated) birthday, nonetheless.

_**Ahem. So yeah, happy birthday to me. My mom doesn't seem to remember it though...I REALLY don't know what's up with my parents' memory. Er...Is that proper grammar? It doesn't sound right in my head...**_

Ouch. Sorry about that. Anyway, you don't need the ellipses after "though" but other than that it looks fine.

_**ANYWAYS.**__****_

_**1. Do you like amusement parks? I LOVE AMUSEMENT PARKS! I mean...There's roller coasters, cotton candy, rides, occasionally some people trying to pull you into a scam. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT? And Ferris wheels...Those things actually scare me...**_

I never really understood the romanticism of amusement parks. They are just a little too crowded and loud for my taste. But I do love cotton candy.

_**2. Can Ferris wheels go spinning out of control?**_

I know you are already afraid of Ferris wheels, but. . . . news/10512852/ferris-wheel-spins-out-of-control-at-new-york-firefighters-fund-raiser

_**3. How would you attach a wire to a battery to power something? Does that make sense? My science project's about electricity. I can't believe my teacher trusted my class with this...I mean, I started to bleed because of a Christmas light...**_

Yes that makes sense, don't worry. To attach the wire to a battery, use a wire stripper (or a knife) to remove one cm of the insulation at the end of the wire (if the wires inside are frayed after you remove the covering, twist them back into shape). Then hold one end of the wire against one of the battery terminals. To actually attach it, I usually use tape if I'm not doing a huge experiment.

_**4. YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT SPIDERS.**_

I mostly just dodged it. :)

Anyway, if you calmly assure people that you're not afraid of spiders, they may believe you. Just tell them what you told me.

_**5. Do you like Duracell? Thanks to my science project, I LOVE DURACELL. THE BATTERY COMPANY. IT'S A FREAKING MIRACLE. Okay, not really, but I think it's awesome.**_

I am a battery fan anyway, so I really like Duracell.

_**I...can't think of anything else...BYE**_

Bye. Happy birthday.

…

From _Dream Out Loud 18_.

_**Hey, Thoth! :D If I had to choose, truthfully...you would be my godly dad. xD**_

Thanks, I think I'd be a pretty awesome dad to a mortal.

_**How many kids do you have with Ma'at and their names and genders?**_

We have nine children (technically ten). Four daughters (Amaunet, Hauhet, Kauket, and Naunet) and four sons (Amun, Heh, Kuk, and Nun). There's also Seshat, but I'm not sure if she counts.

**Fish: Hey, you do remember them.**

I did remember before, but you didn't want to type out the incredibly long answer I gave you about my children's lives, raising them, how I'm Khonsu's grandfather, etc. So you just said I can't remember my own children's names and I didn't figure this out until I reread the chapters you posted just recently.

**Fish: Yep.**

You suck.

_**Can I go to your pyramid and have a day with you?**_

As of right now, I'm still at Fish's house but she's letting me go after this.

**Fish: I'm kidnapping your wife next.**

Don't you dare…but when I get back, sure, I guess.

_**CAN I HAVE SOME BARBECUE?**_

I don't think I can transfer actual food through the internet. Sorry.

_**Can I teach you how to play guitar?**_

Why would I have to be taught? I'm pretty awesome!

_**That's all, my favorite Egyptian god. *bows* Bye!**_

Bye!

…

From _The Girl In The Pointe Shoes_.

_**Well, my leave of absence aside...**__****_

_**HELLOOOOO THOTH!**_

Hey.

**Fish: Come on, more enthusiasm.**

Hey!

**Fish: That's the spirit!**

_**Do you know how freaking hard it is to do a french manicure on yourself? You have nooooooo idea! Mine turned out crappy.**_

I know how you feel, girl. You know me…god of manicures…

_**Have you seen 'Insidious' OMG BEST MOVIE EVA! My friend made me watch it and theres a part where a hand grabs a guy out of a drawer, my friend had watched it before and she said she screamed, I just laughed. Tip: finding the funny things in horror movies dilutes the horror.**_

I have not seen that movie, but I love watching horror movies with other people and being the only one who is not scared.

_**Five bucks says you can't get through the music video of 'The Baby' by Blake Shelton without crying.**_

Just finished watching it…pay me. Then again, I made it through 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash with only feeling a little sad, so maybe I just don't have a heart. But after watching that video, I have to say this: Dem Eyes!

_**Well, hope ya'll didnt mind my absence, see ya**_

Well I hope all of you didn't mind my absence.

_**Peace, Love, Pie, Don't Die,**__****_

_**Jace**_

Balance, mutual respect, tarts, live long and prosper,

Thoth.

…

From _Awesomenesssquared._

_**Best story ever! I have some questions:**_

I hope this isn't the best "story", but let's get to your questions.

_**Lord Thoth, what is your opinion on dangly earrings? I think that they can ruin your ears if you wear them too much.**_

They can be pretty, but Fish ruined them for me when she told me the story about how they almost ripped off her ear. If you ask me, she kind of had it coming since she was climbing a tree in a prom dress.

_**I absolutely LOVE sharpies! I am glad you (the wisdom god of awesomeness) feel that way as well.**_

What's not to like?

_**I have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her, and all she ever talks about is that. She wrote a SONG about it! I can't relate, so what should I do?**_

From what I can gather, she is still struggling to find herself as a person. Allow her to vent her sadness or frustration, but also help her take her mind off of it. Helping a friend isn't about going through the same thing they are, but being there for them. I don't know, I'm not a girl so maybe I'm missing something. Fish, what do you think?

**Fish: Drink.**

You know what? How about we never listen to what Fish says?

_**There is someone in my class who is so stupid that he once called me fat. I'm so skinny that some people think I'm anorexic (I'm not). What can I do to make him shut up? I already tried duct tape.**_

I hate to use this cliché, but just ignore him. If you know that you are skinny, why would a comment like that affect you? Using things like duct tape will only make it worse.

_**MYTHBUSTERS IS AWESOME! What's your favorite episode? Mine's exploding pant's, or possibly duct tape island.**_

Probably the ninja one. Or the one with the card knives.

**Fish: He caught the sword with his head! :D**

_**The eternal question... CATS or DOGS? I'm an ailurophile, so I like cats more.**_

Cats are sacred in my culture, so cats.

_**Reading will beat watching TV every time...unless you're watching Mythbusters. Maybe even then.**_

Well it depends on the book and it depends on the TV show...but I still agree on a subjective level.

_**I love manual typewriters. Not computers, because typing on them is way too easy. Is there something wrong with me?**_

No, typewriters are fun (but tedious). But after The Naked Lunch (the film version), I'm slightly afraid to use them again.

_**Do cell phones REALLY reduce brain cells?**_

Not really. There are some negative effects of cellphones, but nothing too drastic; your brain cells can grow back.

_**What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever done, seen, or heard of?**_

First time Anubis came into the modern world, I caught him trying to wear a corset because he didn't know they were for women.

_**Markers or colored pencils?**_

Markers, but really good markers.

_**Digital or analog watch?**_

Uh…I like both, actually.

_**Do you like the song 'Defying Gravity' from wicked? I completely and utterly LOVE it!**_

Eh, not my favourite song from a musical. But then again, it's pretty hard to beat 'Sweet Transvestite' from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

_**What do you do if your friend thinks your brother is hot? I mean, he's 9 years older than she is, he's in college, and he has a girlfriend! I told her this and she's still in love!**_

It's normal for young people to have crushes on older people. As long as she doesn't actively pursue a relationship, you're good. Also since your brother has a girlfriend you don't have much to worry about.

_**Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay? Or do you speak pig Latin?**_

Onay Iway an'tcay.

_**What is your honest opinion of rubber band balls?**_

Tried making one, got bored, melted it, it's now a blob.

_**Who is your favorite goddess, aside from Nut, Sheshat, and your wife?**_

Um…Athena, Vör, Snorta, and Saraswati.

_**Do you like pretzels?**_

Yes, very much.

_**What do you think of blonde jokes? I think that they're racist and stupid.**_

Well in this current form I _am_ blonde, so I don't really appreciate them. But I wouldn't call them "racist" since it has nothing to do with race.

_**Please tell one of the blonde jokes you know. I don't know why I want you to, I just do. Please forgive me, o forever knowing, always interesting god of awesomeness.**_

A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?"

I chose this one because I've actually done this.

_**Egyptian gods invented geometry? You are so much more awesome than I originally thought (and let me tell you, that was very awesome) In case you haven't guessed, I love geometry.**_

Well don't give credit to those who don't deserve it; _I _invented geometry. Okay, Seshat helped. Anyway, I'm glad you like it.

_**I'm nerdy, and let me tell you, I am proud of it. Cool is overrated.**_

That's good. Unfortunately, we're in an age where anyone can describe themselves as being a nerd, without actually knowing what it means. Then there are the people who don't know the difference between 'nerds' and 'geeks' and I lose hope in humanity.

_**Do you like the name Aurora? I like it. I also like the name Belinda, even though it means beautiful snake. Some of my other favorites are:**__****_

_**Jinx, Theodosia, Gwynnia, Aldewyn, Alelea, Kat (not Kate, KAT.), Tara, and Albert (after Albert Einstein!) Please give your opinion on these names. Au revoir, Awesomeness.**_

Aurora is a pretty name, not sure about Belinda though. Not crazy about Jinx, Theodosia is pretty cool, not sure about Gwynnia, Adelwyn sounds too much like Adeline when I try to say it, Kat is cute, Tara is pretty, and Albert kicks ass.

_**Tchuess!**___

Tag!

_**P.S. Ich lebe nach Deuschtland! Es ist so toll!**_

Das scheint schön.

…

From _gingerroot15_.

_**How do you get onto book 2 for Pottermore? It won't let me or any of my friends go on yet!**_

Fish and I have been trying to, but we eventually gave up. Yeah, we're pretty bad Ravenclaws.

_**Is there a way to tell what kind of magician you are? I used to be a water elementalist, and then I was leaning towards diviner, but now I'm an animal charmer. Thoughts?**_

You just have to go with what is natural for you.

_**What's your favorite Florence the Machine song?**_

Shake it Out.

_**How long do you know the number pi?**_

3. 

I can go on for much longer, but I'll spare you.

…

From _N_.

_**Hi Thoth! I'm back! And just for the record; I have a list of 'husbands'... Yup. Annie, er, Anubis is on it. Tell him that okay?**_

Well if he's your husband you may want to stop calling him "Annie". Makes me imagine him as an orphan with no pupils and curly red hair.

_**1) If you weren't the god of wisdom, then what would you be?**_

The god of writing.

_**2) So you watch Death Note? Do you consider Light to be a murderer and no better than those he kills?**_

You just nailed my issues with that character.

_**3) Do you think that the name Timmy is best suit for like an 8 year old? (Lol, that's my ex's name. He's such a douchebag and I always made fun of his name)**_

Timmy is usually a nickname for names like Tim or Timothy that is used at a younger age, so yeah.

_**4) Can you ask Anubis if he's ever gotten high off Sharpies? And then tell me what he says?**_

I'm starting to wonder why so many people are asking questions about Sharpies, but I asked Anubis and he said "No".

_**LORD THOTH YOU ARE EPIC :D**_

N! You too, buddy!

…

From _Fenrir the Vicious_.

_**lord thoth**__****_

_**In all of the fan fiction dealing with percys life in the roman leigon the romans and lupa all seem like dirty cowardice backstabbing flatters and lier of the worst kind that would have their friend and family killed and sell their souls for power your really old right were the romans really like thatat all?**_

Every culture has their issues and the Romans are no different. When most people talk about the issues of another culture, they're viewing these issues through the eyes of their own culture.

_**why did you have all of you fellow gods banished?**_

Because they're insane. Okay, Greek gods are like frat boys, Norse gods are like angry alcoholic fathers, and the Egyptian gods are like both combined. Not me though, I'm perfect.

_**Why cant egyptian gods create teir own solid forms like the greek arent you guys just as powerful?**_

We can modify our forms. This form I have right now is a combination of my host and what I look like naturally. It's not a matter of power, but a different way of doing things.

_**Have you even met gilgamesh before you know old sumarian hero?**_

Yes. Interesting.

_**If I try to cheat while playing agianst khonshu in a high steaks game will he kill me or just break my legs?**_

No, he will cheat back. And win.

_**does khonshu own a casino?**_

Yes.

_**Have you even read jojo bizzare adventure before its really good manga?**_

No I have not.

…

From _Ma'at_.

_**Okay, more questions for you to anwnser!**_

I'm willing as always.

_**YOU GOT HIGH OFF OF SHARPIES? HOW AND WHY?**_

You get a bunch of them and you smell them. Why? Boredom…don't do this, kids.

_**AND AWNSER IT TRUTHFULLY PLEASE!**_

Of course.

_**Husband, teach me how to shuffle(not the card shuffle,the dance shuffle)**_

Darling, you know I have two left feet.

_**Fish, can you draw the Sailor Moon is Khonsu and Sailor Mercury is Thoth thing for me? I want to see how it turns out.(And don't complain, Thoth:)**___

**Fish: Of course! I'm even planning on drawing a bunch of the things that happened in this story. I'll add a link in the next chapter.**

_**Love, Ma'at**_

Love you.

…

From _Seshat._

_**Yup. You're Thoth. Sigh..**_

Yep.

_**By the way, I BLESSED J.K Rowling, so don't act like you're all that. Because you're not.**___

Well you also invented writing, so I and the world owe a lot to you. But then again, I invented you so I guess we're even.

_**Wait...was that last sentence a fragment? Oh Ra, please tell me it wasn't!**___

Yes, yes it was (trolololo).

_**1) Talking about fragments, do you commit them often?**_

It's a bad habit I have to get over.

_**2) You like the Beatles too? I'm not the only one! I thought everybody in this century was stuck on modern mainstream music actually...Guess I'm wrong. People still do remember the pros, huh?**_

Well (for the most part) mainstream music is usually bad. The good music that people like to look back on was hardly ever getting air play when it first came out and that still is true. Years from now, people will be looking back at our underground or less common work and saying "Remember when music had soul?".

But the Beatles are awesome, though I can't admit to liking all of their music.

_**3) Favorite Pokemon of all time? (Sorry, Pokemon is somewhat cool to me, he, he.)**_

Charmander and Alakazam.

_**4) My questions have improved now, eh? (Say no, and I'll have the audacity to go to Arizona right now and blast a particular type of music...And you know what I mean by "particular type of music")**_

I have never disliked your questions, so don't worry.

_**Um...That's it, I guess. Make sure your ego doesn't surpass your knowledge!**_

Don't worry about it.

…

From _Cybernetic Author unit 5_.

_**y u know answer my questions?**_

I'm pretty sure we did…

…

From _Crazy And I Know It_.

_**1- Are you implying that One Direction sucks? (Or that you don't like them?) If you are, YAY! There might be some hope for you!**_

They're more "meh" than anything, but it's most of the fans that get under my skin.

_**2- Aww. Please! I have a GREAT reason to own one of your ibises/baboons... *leans closer* To make them totally obsessed with LMFAO!**_

Don't come near my baboons and ibises.

_**3 - For realz, when are we having this playdate with Anubis?**_

When he leaves his room…

_**4 - Have you ever hated on anything? If yes, what was it?**_

I hate stupid people who are content with their stupidity.

_**5 - What would you do if I told you that Fish was correct in her theory that I was impersonating Ma'at?**_

I would not be very surprised.

_**6 - Impersonating is fuuun. Especially on the internet.**_

Well it's easy on the internet, that's for sure.

_**7 - And for Fish, I've wondered about this: What do YOU think of LMFAO?**_

**Fish: It's music for partying and having a good time, and I can like it on that level. But Sexy and I Know It irritates me. I have danced like an idiot to Shots and Party Rock Anthem, so I'm in no place to say I hate or even dislike them.**

_**Bye, bye, losers!**_

I'm going to interpret that as a Beck reference and move on.

…

From _Laylaenchantix101_.

_**9:00 a.m? Do I even want to know?**_

I have a different schedule, okay?

_**44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman?**_

Letterman.

_**45: Ever watch soap operas?**_

No, not really.

_**46: Are you afraid of heights?:**_

I'm afraid of falling.

_**47: Do you sing in the car?**_

…yes…loudly.

**Fish: It's actually very funny.**

_**48: Do you sing in the shower?:**_

Yes…

_**50: Ever used a gun?:**_

Yes, not a fan though.

_**51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?:**___

Last time Ma'at and I had a mortal wedding ceremony._****_

_**52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?:**___

Some can be._****_

_**53: Is Christmas stressful?:**_

Yes, but I think any holiday is stressful in its own special way._****_

_**54: Ever eat a pierogi?:**_

Yes!_****_

_**55: Favorite type of fruit pie?:**___

Blueberry._****_

_**56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?:**___

I've always been a wisdom god and I've never been a kid._****_

_**57: Do you believe in ghosts?: No.**___

Well I think the _ba_ counts as a ghost._****_

_**58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?:**___

Yes, usually with things dealing with previous hosts._****_

_**59: Take a vitamin daily?:**_

Nope._****_

_**60: Wear slippers?:**_

I'm in Arizona in the summer. I try to wear as little clothing as I can get away with._****_

_**Well, I think that's enough questions today! So long!**_

See ya'.

…

From _This Is A Lie_.

_**Is it possible to still have jet lag 7-8 years after you moved across the country?**_

I don't think that would be jet lag._****_

_**Read the name, is it true or false?**_

Neither; it's a paradox._****_

_**Bye!**_

Bye!

..

From _LoveSoup58195._

_**what do you look for in a girl (or guy). physical and personality.**_

I'm pansexual, so personality-wise I look for the same thing in both genders; smart, funny, makes me laugh, someone who I can make laugh, loves video games, likes comic books, interested in learning new things, able to teach me new things, down to earth, and nice. I. Love. Nerdy. Men. And. Women.

Physically, I like anyone who is healthy, but I love curvy women and I like men with some muscle.

…

From _Nicole di Angelo_.

_**Lord Thoth,**__****_

_**Hello (and please don't reply hi. You can do better, for a god of wisdom). I have six questions...Care to answer?**_

…What's up?

_**1. You're my favorite Egyptian god, followed by Horus and Anubis. (Don't judge me! Horus has some good qualities too, like bravery, but I agree he needs more wisdom. As for Anubis...since Walt is now hosting Anubis...Technically he's not 5,000 years old anymore and can date Sadie! So technically he's not weird for dating her! And it wouldn't be forbidden! I have a weird combo. Want to see my list of Egyptian gods from most favorite to least?)**_

I do agree that Horus has good traits; we all do. But I still think the Sadie and Anubis/Walt thing is a little weird. If it's okay because Walt is hosting Anubis, would Carter and Zia still be okay if she was fully hosting Ra? Also, I want to see this list.

_**2. I am a daughter of Hades, but I respect every single wisdom god/goddess... Nothing wrong with that...right? Wisdom rules!**_

Well I'm glad that you respect wisdom.

_**3. Like I said, I think you're awesome, and by the way, if you and Horus get into a fight, then I think you would win because it doesn't just limit to combat magic. Even if he is strong, he still cannot avoid hieroglyphic grenades! Physical strength isn't everything. And why am I telling the god of wisdom this? You already know!**_

I still agree, but if we had to use mortal weapons or physical strength without magic he would still beat me; we're good at different things.

_**4. Do you prefer Lord Thoth or Lord Djehuti?**_

I like Djehuti, but more people know me as Thoth so I just go with that now.

_**5. What is your most mad-scientist-like experiment?**_

Tried to make a 300 feet tall maggot—bad idea. Have you ever seen a maggot under a microscope? Imagine one 300 feet tall!

_**7. Are you mad at me for asking these questions? Please don't blast me!**_

Of course not, but I think the number 6 is because you forgot him. :(

_**Thanks! Bye! (would you want to answer any more questions from me? I admit sometimes I can be annoying)**__**  
><strong>_

You don't seem annoying at all, you're actually kind of cool.

_****__**P.S.- I should have searched fanfic stories about you sooner!**_

I don't know how to respond to that…_****_

_**And great job, Fish!**_

**Fish: Thanks!**

…

From _toasters101_.

_**spartans lets us dine in ARBY,S and bombard thoth with usless questions! group of spartans yaaaaaaaar!**_

…Cool story, bro?

_**1 did fish ever help you fend those demons attacking your pyramid in memphis egypt?**_

**Fish: Ha! No.**

The two of us were actually transported back to Memphis when Apophis began to gain more power, but did she ever help me? No. She just sat in a room in the back of the pyramid and slept the entire time.

_**2 have you ever meet sheogorath the daedric prince of madness before?**___

I can't say I have.

_**3 do i have to end every sentence with a question mark i will do it for every question for know until it is answered?**_

Questions are usually supposed to end in a question mark, yes.

_**4 hey man suffratoge city!**_

David Bowie?

_**5 do you know the muffin man?**_

I KILLED THE MUFFIN MAN! Kidding, he's a nice guy.

_**6 i think that isis was greedy and ambitousfor what she did to ra but she did trie to help her son i guess family comes first*coughbitchcough***___

You make a good point, but Ra is also part of her family so…yeah. I still don't agree with that she did.

_**7 did you ever watch seven? yes i somewhat planned this**___

I see what you did there! And yes, I have.

_**well love to stay and chat but i have to pick out new underwear to wear in our spartan battels raaaaaar**_

Uh…that was interesting…

…

From _Kanechroniclesfan01_

_**Hi!:)**_

Hello.

_**1. What do you think about Hathor? (She's my favorite goddess)**_

She's a cow, she's nice, she's a nice cow lady.

_**2. What happened between you and Bast that made you not like each other?**_

We had a bad date. That's all I'm going to say.

_**3. Why are you so awesome?**_

Because I worked hard at it.

_**Well, those are my 3 questions. Fish, if you're being mean to Thoth, stop it! He's my favorite god (out of ALL pantheons).**_

No, Fish and I actually get along but we're usually tired when we get around to these questions. Anyway, I'm honored that I'm your favorite.

…

From _Tara Gilesbie_.

_**omg i am relly cull coz im gottik!11111 if ur not goffik, then fuk u!111**_

Sorry, but Gizur, the King of the Geats was gothic before it was cool.

_**ok. so i red the kane chronlces not so lung ago, and i like it. anubis is MI favedvrite god coz he wers blak, and hes hot! I tink he mite like da band my chemocal rumance. MCR!1111**_

That's very good to know.

_**if u dont like MCR, then fuk u!1111**_

They put a lot of energy into their music, but I'm not a fan.

_**1..do u like mi stori My Immortal? if u dont like it, ur a prep!1111111 stup hating mi stori if ur a prep!1111**_

No, I'm just a sensible deity.

_**2..are u a goffik?**_

I did battle a few Huns back in 376 CE, but it's been a while.

_**3.. are u a prep?**_

I was a teacher at a college preparatory high school for a few years.

_**4.. shud i make a sequl to My Immortal?**_

If it really makes you happy.

_**5..admit dat i am cull!11**_

To "cull" means to pluck so, yes. You are very plucky…like a dead bird.

_**6. wutz da la gens lout u did?**_

…what?

_**7.. did u no mi accunt still exists? i cant go dere thogh cuz i furgut da passwrod.**___

Knowing you, it was probably password. Oh, sorry: 666password666.

_**if ur not gottik, fok u!1111**_

I've encountered many Huns, lady.

_**i luv MCR!111 i will be bak! fuk u if ur a prep or a pozer!111**_

And I will be eagerly waiting.

…

From _Awesomenesssquared_.

_**Hello Fish and Thoth! It's me again, with questions from a bunch of people. So, let the torture begin!**_

Can't wait!

_**1)This is from Ms. Ashley: Can you tell the future?**_

No. I can form theories, but I can't see into the future.

_**2)This is Tionna: Will I marry Justin Bieber?**_

Well going by my data, probably not. Sorry.

**Fish: You didn't have to be so blunt.**

But…but it's data…

_**3)This is from Monica: Will I get a bigger room when I move?**_

If you move into a larger house.

_**4)From Olivia: How many fingers am I holding up?**_

Two. Unless you're counting the thumb then three.

_**5)From Abigail: Why has no one invented cars that don't smell like new car (gag)?**_

Some people like that smell, but you can just use one of those air fresheners.

_**6)Kitty says: Are there complications when you take a female host? You know what I mean.**_

It is really weird when I talk to people and they here a male voice, but I know how the female body works.

**Fish: Sure you do…**

Fish, I have two wives and I had many lovers in the past. I think I know.

_**7)A person who would prefer to remain nameless: How long will it be before my ex realises that I am awesome and he should go back to me?**_

Well according to my calculations…

**Fish: Thoth!**

Uh…I can't predict that. Sorry.

_**8)Bayley: Is there any possibility that purple platypi could exist?**_

Genetic engineering, drop one in paint, etc.

_**9) And finally me: Have you read the Secret Series by Pseudonymous Bosch, and do you like the books?**_

Yes, they are very good.

…

From _RoseyLalondey_.

_**My questions**____****_

_**1. Do you like Greek mythology?**_

Of course._****_

_**2. What's your favorite branch of science?**_

Biology or psychology._****_

_**3. Isn't science interesting?**___

You know it! I couldn't pick just one branch._****_

_**Thanks. :D**_

You're welcome.

…

From _Kanechroniclesfan01_.

_**OOOOOoooook Thoth, I have more questions!**_

Let's do this!_****_

_**1) Who's your favorite spice girl(I love posh spice)!**_

Uh…I like Scary Spice._****_

_**2) Have you ever had a crush on a goddess from the Egyptian pantheon( Bast, Hathor, Isis, etc)**_

Bast for a little bit, Ma'at of course, Nut._****_

_**3) Have you ever had a crush on a goddess from another pantheon?**_

Kali, Aine, and Nyx._****_

_**4) Why don't you like Horus?**_

It's not that we don't like each other, we just clash too much._****_

_**5) Cupcakes or muffins?**_

Cupcakes._****_

_**6) Are you a grammar Nazi? Because I'm a grammar Hitler!**_

I do stress over good grammar, but I try not to be a jerk about it._****_

_**7) *last one* Why are you the only god that finds Sanubis creepy? I totally agree with you!**_

Plenty of other gods don't approve of it; look at Shu. But then again, I don't think he approves of any relationship. He tried to separate Nut and Geb and he also tried to separate me and Ma'at._****_

_**That's all for now, oh, and btw if you ever want to ask Hathor or Aphrodite a question, check out my 'Ask A Love Goddess'thingy! You inspired it :)**_

Glad to hear that. Toodles!

…

From _anarchy12312_

_**how can we live in a place where the man is in charge? i would**_

_**rather die than support big business!**_

You know, your computer was probably made by a big business…and your clothes…and your house. I'm not entirely supportive of corporations, but I think that it is stupid to be completely against them.

_**fuck the system, man!**_

I did. Any now I have ten children.

…

Yeah, I know this took a while, but I had work, school, I'm writing my own novel, I got sick, etc., and these things actually take a while to do. Who knows, maybe I'll make next chapter the last one.


	21. Chapter 21

**Fish: Welcome to the last chapter of this "fanfiction". Don't freak out. I will continue to do this thing elsewhere and I will explain more at the end.**

From _I'mDifferent-GetOverIt_.

_**Hey, I just had a suggestion for Fish: You should make a Tumblr account, and have an Ask Thoth blog. If you aren't familiar with Tumblr, it's a blogging format, and there is an ask feature with every blog. Other users are able to ask questions to other blogs, and you are able to answer them for your followers to see.**_

_**I thought you might like to hear about this.**_

_**Different**_

**Fish: That's actually what I was planning on doing. I also have a personal Tumblr, but I'll make a new one to continue this thing. Thanks for your suggestion.**

…

From _The Girl in the Pointe Shoes_.

_**Ikr, I would kill for those eyes, too bad he's married...**_

Ah, to each his (or her) own.

_**Sooooo bored rite now, im at the library signing kids up for the summer reading program and no one's here**_

That was actually one of Fish's jobs but she was bad at it because she _gave all of the children the wrong information_.

**Fish: It's not my fault no one told me what to do.**

…

From _Awesomenesssquared_.

_**I feel rebellious today, so I shall call you... Lord Djehuti!**_

Aww yeah!

_**Yay! You love MythBusters and so does Fish! That makes me so happy. To quote my math teacher, it makes me smile... on the inside. :D More questions to come! Be afraid. Very afraid.**_

Well I'm glad I can make you smile…on the inside.

_**1) Do you like Monty Python? If not, I fart in your general direction!**_

I love Monty Python; both the movies and the television show.

_**2) How about Nyan cat?**_

…_No…just no…_

_**3)Why does my computer tell me that I spelled 'yay' wrong?**_

Because it technically isn't a real word.

_**4) Did I spell yay wrong? Please tell me I didn't. Of course, pointing out a spelling mistake is appreciated. So ignore my request.**_

Ironically, most of the people who ask me to point out their spelling/grammar errors have nothing for me to correct. Don't worry, I use "yay" too, but not in formal occasions.

_**5) I order you to try the scary maze game, video your reaction, then post the link. I order you!**_

Already saw it. Sorry.

_**6) Icing vs. frosting? I think I already asked this, but just humor me.**_

I may have changed my answer, but icing.

_**7) Opinion on the smell of the ocean?**_

I like that smell. That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells...Smelly…

_**8) How many swearwords do you know, in how many languages?**_

The beauty of swearwords is you can just make up your own and some official ones are really out there. For example from Serbia:

Da Bog da ti zena rodila stonogu pa ceo zivot radio za cipele (Roughly translated: May your wife give birth to a centipede so you have to spend all of your money on shoes)

_**9) Can you please read my fanfiction Sadie Kane's Guide to Annoying your Brother and tell me what you think?**_

I like how it isn't just a list of activities…but I feel sorry for your brother (if you have one, that is).

_**10) Can you mail me a platypus? Please? Just so I can dye it purple?**_

Sorry, I don't have the authority to do that.

_**11) Favorite animated movie?**_

Uh…Heavy Traffic, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (skip all of the comic relief), and the Secret of Nimh.

_**12) What do you think of the fact that, after the entire movie of Snow White and the Huntsman, we still don't know the Huntsman's name? **_

I honestly don't care; I just call him Thor.

_**13) Do you know the play Les Miserables? If so, what do you think would happen if I casted all the guys in my grade into a parody of it and called it Les Fails?**_

Do whatever you want. Just remember to do a parody successfully, you have to love the source material.

_**14) NO.**_

Okay…

_**15) What do you think about Caramel Machiattos?**_

I love them.

_**16) Do you shop at ?**_

Best Buy, Home Depot, and Game Stop.

_**17) I don't understand how writers get fanmail. I have looked everywhere for the address of some of my favorite authors, and CANNOT FIND THEM! WHY?**_

Check the author's website. The letters usually go to a publishing company, not directly to the author.

_**18) Did you get a picture of Anubis in a corset? Oh, wait. Was that before cameras were invented? If so, ignore that question and answer the next one.**_

Ignoring…

_**19) Would you have gotten a picture of Anubis in a corset if possible? Would you have posted it on youtube?**_

I'm not that cruel…

_**20) You rock. **_

Thanks.

_**See ya! Or rather, write ya! **_

_**Bye Lord Djehuti!**_

Bye!

…

From _lalala ._

_**Is Sevdat a complete idiot?**_

Uh…I don't know any Sevdats.

_**Say yes or you will find my hand in your face... quite soon. Gottit?**_

As long as you washed your hands.

…

From _Laylaenchantix101_.

_**Yay! You guys are back! -claps-**_

_**62: What do you wear to bed?**_

Summer: Boxers, t-shirt. Winter: Sweatpants, t-shirt,

_**63: First concert?:**_

I saw Frédéric Chopin perform once.

_**64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?: **_

Probably Target.

_**65: Nike or Adidas?:**_

I don't really care about shoe brands.

_**66: Cheetos Or Fritos?: **_

Fritos.

_**67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?:**_

Sunflower seeds.

_**68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?: **_

I believe I have.

_**69: Ever take dance lessons?: **_

A few times.

_**70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?**_

I can imagine my wife being a motivational speaker. She's very good at that,

_**71: Can you curl your tongue?: **_

Yes.

_**72: Ever won a spelling bee?:**_

I never actively participated in one; that would be cheating.

_**73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?: **_

A little during my wedding, when my children were born, and when the atom was discovered.

_**74: Own any record albums?: **_

A few, actually.

_**75: Own a record player?: **_

Proud to say I do.

_**76: Regularly burn incense?: **_

Not regularly.

_**77: Ever been in love?:**_

Yes.

_**Well, I think that's good. Bye**_

Okay, bye.

…

From _StrangenessAndCharm17_.

_**Shake It Out is good. *nodnod* Ever heard Blinding?**_

Yes I have; also a good song.

_**TELL ME YOU'VE HEARD OF ASDFMOVIE. PLEASE.**_

I have and I've seen some of the episodes.

_**You couldn't happen to grab Bast for a moment, could you? I have a question that involves two cats and I feel like- no offense or anything- she'd be able to answer it better.**_

I don't know where Bast is at the moment and I'm not sure if she would appreciate me "grabbing" her. Also, Fish has two dogs…

…

From _Guest_.

_**Not to be rude or anything, but, you spelled billie joe wrong... Its billie joe, not billy joe. Alright, bye. **_

_**(oh, and btw ur story is awesome!**_

Actually we're both wrong. I meant to say "Billy Joel", but Fish failed with the transcript. She also used the wrong form of "then" in the last chapter.

**Fish: :(**

…

From _N_.

_**So we meet again, Thoth... So. HOWYA DOIN?**_

I'm okay.

_**1) Have you ever watched House of Anubis? My cousin got me hooked on it and it is ADDICTIVE.**_

I have not seen that show.

_**2) I LOVE ONE DIRECTION. Those five homosexuals from the UK are my whole freaking life. I'm a big Directioner. Do you think they're gay? I do, but then again, One Direction is a boy band from the UK made up of five gay boys who aren't really gay... Either way, I fantasize about them...**_

Their sexual orientation is none of my business.

_**3) I like boys who like carrots, food, mirrors, getting naked and food and are from the UK... VAS HAPPENIN? Triangle triangle triangle! Simple but effective. I'm insecure, I know why for... I'm not Danielle, 32 or Eleanor... Screw Jelena. I'm Team Larry Stylinson. 'Cause its Hazza and Lou ooh ooh... Its Hazza and Lou oooh oooh ooh... BOO BEAR. KEVIN. **_

…I need an asprin.

_**Anne, I want your son,**_

Sorry, but Heh, Kuk, and Nun aren't interested in dating and Amun already has a wife.

_**Lottie, I want your brother,**_

I created myself so I don't have a brother.

_**Danielle, I want your boyfriend,**_

Take him. It was a onetime thing anyway.

_**Bradford, I want your bad boy,**_

I'm afraid I don't have any "bad boys".

_**Nandos, I want your lover.**_

Sorry, Ma'at is mine.

_**How many rs.**_

You used 33 r's in your questions above.

_**Is it safe to say I have Direction Infection?**_

Uh…yeah.

_**Byyyye Thoth! I gotta go stalk Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne and Zayn Malik on Instagram and Tumblr and Twitter...**_

Have fun….

…

From _hetaoni._

_**Hullo . Its the middle of summer and I'm bored so answer some questions for me Ok?**_

Sure, let's do this. I got to these a little late, but whatever.

_**1. Are you and Khonsu like Heterosexual Life Partners?**_

That's a pretty good way to describe it. We're also grandfather and grandson, but you would never think that just by watching us interact.

_**2. If you view Athena as a friendly compatition, why is there like 3 fanfics about you and her as a couple?**_

I have no input in what people write about me. I don't read any of these stories, but I really don't mind.

_**3. Ever heard of "The Hunger Pains"?(book not symptom)**_

I have, but I haven't read it yet. It seems really funny from what I can gather.

_**4. Heard of The Maze Runner?**_

I have and I quite enjoyed that book.

_**Hetalia, Egypt has a jackal called Anubis, is that the God Anubis?**_

No. People can name their pets after us if they want to and it doesn't have to actually be us. We can host them, but that's a completely different thing.

_**'s your favorite gaming system?(360,playstation,wii)**_

Playstation, xbox(360 and original), PC, and Atari.

**Fish: Hipster.**

I'm not a hipster, I'm just old.

_**you believe in global warming?**_

Yes I do. I would go into a lot of detail on the subject, but I'll spare you. Long story short: the earth is changing and warming up, but that's what the earth does. Yes, humans are also causing the earth's temperature to change, but the planet has gone through many changes over millions of years. Sure all of the multicellular beings will probably be dead if the changed get really bad, but look on the bright side. Bacteria, certain types of fungi, and some types of bugs will make it.

_**8. Ever been on a website called 4chan?**_

Yes I have. Now I'm more of a Reddit person, though.

_**Thats all*gives barbaque for answering questions***__**  
><strong>__**See Ya!**__**  
><strong>__**-H**_

Thanks for the, ahem, virtual barbeque. I enjoyed answering your questions.

…

From _Guest._

_**lord thoth**_

_**Please tell there some way for this poor son fo mars to become a god I know ive asked you before but is the some way I really wanna take jupiter down a peg!**_

It's rather difficult for Egyptians to become a god, but it is possible. I'm not sure about the Romans, though. For your Roman-related needs, I would recommend talking to a Roman god (but leave out the part about taking Jupiter down).

_**I kown lupa wants only strong soldiers but why eat the weaker demigods cantthe just be used as cannon fodder or something?**_

Lupa can do what she wants with her demigods; I have no say. Sure I may not agree with what she does, but we are from completely different continents and cultures so I don't have to worry about that.

_**I havent met my father mars yet so could tell me what hes like?**_

I rarely communicate with any other gods anymore, but here's what I can tell you; give one of the men on the Jersey Shore a temper problem.

_**P.S please dont end this story yet we've still got alot of stupid questions to ask you lord thoth**_

I'll have Fish explain everything at the end.

…

From _toasters101_.

_**hey thoth **_

_**1 what are your thoughts on the comic book version of joker from batman or if you have not read them then the dark knight version of him?**_

I enjoy both the comic and the film adaptations of the Joker; one of my favorite comic book villains. To me, every adaptation is good in their own way and they all bring something to the table. (But the Dark Knight version is one of my favorites).

_**2 how do you think carter kane,s and sadie kane,s life be if the joker was real and set chose him as his host and the joker still kept his free will?**_

I can't imagine that working out well. It reminds me of the time Set and Loki got drunk and decided to team up. And _I _had to fix everything after that.

_**3 have you ever meet loki odin and thor, but most of all kvasir the other god of wisdom?**_

Loki can talk too much, but we get along just fine. Odin is a very wise man who I respect. Thor is…interesting; we have problems getting along. I really enjoy the company of Kvasir.

_**4 have you ever played heavy rain?**_

Not yet, but I want to.

_**5 fish good luck on your novel:thoth good luck on the prophecy of other gods and rival magic**__**  
><strong>__**youll need it ;)**_

**Fish: Thank you; I had to rewrite it because I forgot to add an antagonist…and a plot.**

Thanks for the tip…what do you know that I don't?!

…

From _Kanechroniclesfan01_.

_**Okay I have more questions! Yay!**_

Yay!

_**1. Why won't you go into detail about that date? Was it really that bad?**_

Between me and Bast? Well let's just say it was the complete opposite of what usually happens in romantic comedies. Since I never got out much, I didn't have a complete understanding of dating someone, but not marrying them. When Bast asked me out (she won't admit that, though) I thought she wanted us to get married. So during the date, I was going on and on about our marriage, children, etc. and Bast was and still is a free spirit who wanted none of that. So that's what happened.

_**2. Do you have any songs stuck in your head?**_

We Both Go Down Together by the Decemberists. I highly recommend that song; it's beautiful.

_**3. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?**_

I made many scientific mistakes in the past before the technology really defined itself.

_**4. Pancakes or waffles?**_

Waffles.

_**5. Do you like dark chocolate? I hate it!**_

I'll admit, I'm not a fan.

_**6. Do you like to chew ice?**_

It's really bad for you, but sometimes I do it.

_**7. Does it annoy you when people pronounce the word library as "libary"?**_

Sometimes, yes.

_**Those are all of my questions! Arrivederci!**_

Toodles.

…

From _Luna Kelly_.

_**Um yeah just found so I just started reading. But Fish please dah-ling don't stop till I get these questions in!**_

We'll go over this right after this question.

_**Sir Thoth**_

_**1. Have the gods ever possessed anyone who would/are be/is famous like Obama or Giovanni Boccaccio?**_

We try not to take a politician as our hosts, but that hasn't stopped anyone in the past.

_**2. Did you posses Sherlock Holmes he is brilliant with his deducing and a sociopath!**_

Well he's kind of fictional so…no.

_**3. If dear Fish decides to end this what shall you ever do?**_

I would go home, read, practice magic, and play video games. Sounds pretty good, actually.

…

**So I made a Tumblr to continue this thing. Link is here: askthoth .tumblr . com (remove spaces) ** **go crazy. It will be easier for me to answer questions with this.**

**Also, my personal Tumblr is here: fishthedestroyer .tumblr .com**

**I haven't used it in a while, but I'll start posting more things there.**


End file.
